filling out 13.1 living expenses

[ddol1]

This may sound off but I am trying to figure out what are fair numbers to put for food, gas, eye care - I have not even been out a month yet and a lot of what I have was brought to me from the house. (Am I allowed entertainment considering I am going for support help?)

I suppose the hard thing is the food - tried the cheaper way of eating (I have a micwave but no stove) - but everything has too much salt and we think it is my diet causing my legs to balloon out - so Now I need to eat more unprocessed food - food cost just doubled? I had tried the name brand tv dinners - mixed kinds, soup - hot dogs are easy but the salt is high - so I have found out for soup...reduced salt is not true if we are supposed to have 1500mg/day our typical canadian diet pushes us to the 23-2500 mark and my living more than that - my legs can't handle that so for me the last 4 days as been near zero salt intake (Peanut Butter and health smart bread) - too long so i stop.

the place I am living ($325 to 250 tax included with a promise that I will not be evicted in April when the tourist season starts) I am negotiating the weekly cost down to what may be the lowest in the area for everything included, safe, easy to get to my doctor, food etc. but when I fill in the form for the other things like wow Retirement?? I know the ex has the work plan which about $4,600 a year goes into her retirement plan - but that is her plan.

Clothing is another stumper (sorry haven't dealt with anyof this budget stuff ever in my life - even married we just paid the bills and had money left over (ususally) and that went to savings. Plus the ex paid the bills - the ex took care of all the daily maney stuff (and untill i got "sick" a couple of years back we discussed things - last few years I was not there - I was struggling to live, not pay bills.

SO If anybody can help me fill in some fair numbers???

Edit: Sorry add on The Cell Phone
Because of my health it has been suggested to have a cellphone - my kids live on thier cell phones doing the text thing - the day will come when I will be able to have better relations, maybe take them out to their favorite sushi place - just so we can begin over.....but now I am so isolated with the no contact the house order - is a cell phone that much a luxury???? or is it fair to include a cheapest I can find plan with texting for my kids and the ability to call for help when I am out there and in trouble....

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by ddol1

This may sound off but I am trying to figure out what are fair numbers to put for food, gas, eye care - I have not even been out a month yet and a lot of what I have was brought to me from the house. (Am I allowed entertainment considering I am going for support help?)

I suppose the hard thing is the food - tried the cheaper way of eating (I have a micwave but no stove) - but everything has too much salt and we think it is my diet causing my legs to balloon out - so Now I need to eat more unprocessed food - food cost just doubled? I had tried the name brand tv dinners - mixed kinds, soup - hot dogs are easy but the salt is high - so I have found out for soup...reduced salt is not true if we are supposed to have 1500mg/day our typical canadian diet pushes us to the 23-2500 mark and my living more than that - my legs can't handle that so for me the last 4 days as been near zero salt intake (Peanut Butter and health smart bread) - too long so i stop.

the place I am living ($325 to 250 tax included with a promise that I will not be evicted in April when the tourist season starts) I am negotiating the weekly cost down to what may be the lowest in the area for everything included, safe, easy to get to my doctor, food etc. but when I fill in the form for the other things like wow Retirement?? I know the ex has the work plan which about $4,600 a year goes into her retirement plan - but that is her plan.

Clothing is another stumper (sorry haven't dealt with anyof this budget stuff ever in my life - even married we just paid the bills and had money left over (ususally) and that went to savings. Plus the ex paid the bills - the ex took care of all the daily maney stuff (and untill i got "sick" a couple of years back we discussed things - last few years I was not there - I was struggling to live, not pay bills.

SO If anybody can help me fill in some fair numbers???

I would say 50 a week for groceries, maybe 40 bucks a month for clothes.For gas that is a harder one as gas prices i would say 100 bucks a month depends on how much you are driving. Eye care depends on if you wear glasses or not but i think a office visit is 70 bucks . Entertainment maybe 20 bucks a month.

I am sure other people can come up with some figures that are closer then mine. A lot depends if you need a special diet and things like that.

[frustratedwithex]

Do you have any records of what you use to spend on these items? Receipts or check book register?

How much did your last pair of glasses cost, how much is your food now, the cost of transportation now, your cell phone, (not a luxury, a necessity) etc?

It is okay to include entertainment, cell phone etc. You continue to think of yourself and your needs as a burden, stop it!

Do a complete budget that includes all categories and let her argue that they are not necessary. If you under-budget now, so it looks like you are not asking for much, then when the real costs of your life become a reality, it will come back to bite you and then you're in trouble again.

[ddol1]

thanks standing on the sidelines:
a good (NO GREAT!) start for details to me to generate good thoughts.....

diet - cut out the salt the doc said it is fruit and veggies an oven roast, chicken (but the last two I am out of luck no stove, no hotplate allowed(they put out two barbque's in the summer!)

Gas - on disability, no work - gas to me is doc appointments and the pharmacy, grocery store, laundry place every second week so I put the 25/week - biggest bummer is the cold and wind - three times the car barely started - I was told because i would not drive everyday.... then i should start and let the car run once a day when there is a wind (lots of wind - no cover here where the car is parked in front of my room)

I care - I do have glasses but for now are covered under the ex's benefit (except my best pair of glasses were lost in the police/hospital/shuffle :-(
that is $169 - I will probably have to pay cash for those.

What are typical entertainment avenues (ok I am embarassed again because of my issues - i stayed home, I had (Will have again one day!) home theater but I admit I am working on the paperwork, stuck in a lonely motel room and I am begining to go lonely crazy - I don't even have my best friend now (she is my dog to which I spent 23 hours a day with her....I miss the heck out of her). But I need to come up with low cost, low walking - energy type activities and I do not know where to start to look?? How to start?

[ddol1]

thank you frustratedwithex - you nailed what was blocking my
worried that it is too much and then what do I do when I do not have enough...... I like that you have made me think about:

"Being true to myself - and for now true to myself for, or if, no other reason than I really am worth it and after all these years I deserve a little bit of the me stuff."

Thank you

[frustratedwithex]

Originally Posted by ddol1

What are typical entertainment avenues (ok I am embarassed again because of my issues - i stayed home, I had (Will have again one day!) home theater but I admit I am working on the paperwork, stuck in a lonely motel room and I am begining to go lonely crazy - I don't even have my best friend now (she is my dog to which I spent 23 hours a day with her....I miss the heck out of her). But I need to come up with low cost, low walking - energy type activities and I do not know where to start to look?? How to start?

Don't get too caught up on the details.

It doesn't matter what the entertainment activity is, just include a category and an amount.

If your dog is allowed at your apartment, include it in your budget. Argue that you need the dog because of your disability.

You are driving now, but will you be able to continue this? If not, you need to price out alternative transportation costs. What is available for you given your disability? Will you have to pay for cabs to get all your appointments?

If your small DVD player is an aid to manage your pain, then it is not an unnecessary luxury, include it in your budget. The home theatre on the other hand may be considered a luxury.

[ddol1]

you remembered my dvd player!!!!! Gosh my heart just jumped out.....

My son put it in a box - about 30 movies and he said...... this is not anybodies but yours - and it was wrong for the girls to keep it from you - he saw me and how much I relied on it - My son has a brain, he is smart and he isn't letting anyone tell him squat - including me.... the way it should be. 9he decided this weekend that perhaps right now the scanner may be going to far even if it "is dad's". I told him that I am happy with his answer and I thanked him for being honest..... I thought I should let everyone know what my son did---- "For his Dad!"

[ddol1]

My dog is not allowed here (they are breaking big rules when my daughter drops her off (I keep her corraled in the front area and we spend our time there - and outside.....) Motel owner said that they had a big problem with a customer having serious alergy reactions, hospital - the works.

The owner is allowing me to "have her, my dog, visit" because he knows how much she means and does for my spirit - but she is not allowed to live here. Since I am not allowed over there - I have to wait for My daughter to drop her off when she can......She is taking good care of her allong with her two labs so her room is crowded now because the cat has joined the group for going to sleep at night!! May be petty, but I am happy with where she is at, she doesn't spend too much time with the ex (being true this maybe from the vibes the dog got when the ex did her thing - the dog really reacted hard often wedging herself into the corner iin the basement - until I came and got her.....then she would wiggle out and give me a kiss - She knew.

[Pursuinghappiness]

It really does not take this much time to fill out a financial statement. You have been on this forum for months and months and still do not have this done. You are wayyyyy over-analyzing it. You simply make best guesses about your monthly bills and stick it in there.

Your expenses probably will barely be reviewed so it doesn't even matter. In all of the court proceedings I've had, the list of expenses I put on my financial statement have never come up....ever. The important thing is income levels.

It seriously should not take 5-6 months to get this done. I'm surprised that your ex hasn't done more to move the process along...I cannot imagine how frustrated she must be that a simple form is taking this long. You are going to have the most horrible, expensive divorce in human history. Its going to take you another 4-6 months to even get a case conference at the rate you're going. You need to stop obsessing over ridiculous personal details...like your salt intake and get a move on.

And honestly, start worrying about your kids more than your dog.

[Berner_Faith]

My bf had to fill out one of these a couple months ago...his numbers were basically...

Cell-$70
Groceries- $300/month
Gas- $200/month (may seem high but transportation costs are high to get the children, plus to and from work)


I agree though...this should be fairly straight forward...figure out what you spend in a week, multiply by 4.33 (should say on form 13 to use this number)