Family Debt & Spousal Support

[medicdad01]

Hello,

Ugly situation either way need help... pls..

Married since July 2008. Common Law for 6yrs. Recently separated as of Jan 1st 2009. We have a 6 y/o daughter. Divison of property all most complete other than assets and debts.. Attemping to avoid lawyers and extra cost.. Mediators???

Both names on Matrimonial Home and Loan. The house was refinanced 5 months ago due to increase in value and to pay for wedding and new family vehicle. I sold the new vehicle and applied it to the loan for both of us and she kept the other vehicle.

House is overmortgaged with no equity @ $267,000.00 including well documented wedding and vehicle debt in the mortgage. Market value of home is uncomfirmed but since the separation date is close it is near $230 minus selling fees...
Loan is 18,000.00

Initially she refused to ask for SS

She makes approx. 35K working PT
I make 72K but worked multiple jobs in the last few years to get us here making max around 90k

Shared custody between oursleves with 50/50 slipt daycare and associated cost... no Child support to each other.

I have remained in the home payed 2 months of 4500.00/mnth debt and she has refused to pay anything that she is legal bound and titled on. She has obtained a apt near our daughters school. The matrimonial home is near the school. She has seen several lawyers for 1hr whom advised her for me take all the debt or pay SS. She then refused to ask for SS and is looking for another lawyer ??and returned to our verbal agreements without dealing with debts...

Multiple steps, not really sure what next.....

I am asking to assume over 40k of debt, she assumes 8,000.00 of debts and wave future rights to Spousal support.

?????? What is first?...???
Sell the house, slipt the debt 1/2 and pay spousal support?
Take the debt and no SS?
Fair is fair and pay SS ??

Can family debts taken on by a spouse balance SS? My understanding is that compensation for SS is not applicable because we both worked FT since our daughter was born. Neither stayed at home and sacrified a carreer/education. She does have a current need for SS due to working PT and just making the bills. I would like to help her with $ but debts???

Tks for your ear and help,

[dadtotheend]

Another case of lengthy period of cohabitation and then split soon after marriage *sigh*.

You were together for seven years. Let's say you had to pay SS for 5 years.

You will be taking on a net debt of $32K, which is just over $6K for each of the proposed 5 years of SS, or $500/mth. Based on the discrepancy in your incomes, that would seem reasonable, ESPECIALLY if it kept the lawyers out of your pockets and you two out of court.

My ex and I were together for 5.5 years and I'm paying SS for 4 years.

Not knowing anything about your desire to stay in the home, this could also smooth the way to you being able to stay there (mortgage requalification is a whole other issue). Personally I would do what I could to keep that house. If you gave it up, you will distance yourself from home ownership, and it might be real tough getting back into owning a home.

BTW, based on 50/50 shared parenting, I'm sure you realize that you have a CS obligation because of the difference in your incomes.

[Fair4All]

Courts can be tricky when it comes to SS. Even if you were to agree to take on all the debts in return for not having to pay SS, the ex can apply for SS in the future - especially if there were no lawyers involved and she could claim that she had been unaware of her rights.

I'd suggest you draft up an agreement and then ensure she has a lawyer provide her with advice on that specific agreement. It would be likely that a lawyer would advise against her signing an agreement you had worked on together (lessens his/her chance of earning money off of you - not a disparaging remark against lawyers, it's just a fact that they earn money off of representing people in court). However, if your ex were to sign the agreement at least you could say that she was aware of her rights at the time of signing.

Ideally you'd have a court order stating that due to your high mortgage payments and other financial commitments, including CS, SS is not able to be paid.

Question: is there anything preventing your ex from working full-time?

[medicdad01]

There is currently nothing stopping her from getting a full time job, she has been trying for some time and states that she will continue to try.... She has stated that after the application for seperation is submited six months from now, she will receive retro and child bonus in her name for our daughter??? Not sure if I am entitled to half or it would lessen any cost... Either way hoping to finish this mess...

[first timer]

My advice is to sell the house, use what you get for the house to pay for the debts accumulated during the marriage, and split the remainder. I can relate to what you are dealing with in regards to debt of the marriage not being addressed. We sold the house, split the proceeds but did not pay off the debt of the marriage first. I was left with the entire debt of the marriage and am still trying to get an agreement with my ex 2 years later. I am in the process now of filing in court, seems to be the only route to go. Save your time and money and pay off the debt with the proceeds of the house before the remaining balance is split equally.