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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2017, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
How quickly has she forgotten Mother's Day
And all your kind deeds
And thoughts
Yes indeed. And perhaps she forgot about all the holidays I missed when she denied access. But I wont dwell on that. All my nice deeds and thoughts arn't for my ex that's for sure .. they're for D5
When you have an education and are fully bilingual you have a lot of options in the workforce. It would just be nice for her to attempt contributing financially just a little bit for our child.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-16-2017 at 06:42 PM.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Just to clarify between section 7 and extra-curricular...

With offset CS:
non-section 7 expenses (e.g. 'normal' extracurriculars) should be split 50-50 because the point of the offset payment is so that each household has equal $'s to spend.

Regardless of full vs offset CS:
section 7 expenses (which may include some 'special' extracurriculars) are proportional to income.

That's the theory, anyway ... and individual orders may specify some other arrangement.

So it's possible she should be paying 50%....
Is this true? Personally I know if my ex put D5 in say swimming or anything that would benefit her and that she enjoys .. I would pay 50% right away. Or at least set up a plan that I pay for one and she pays another....something like that.

Our order says noting about extra curricular or S7 .. it wasn't even touched. I can handle all the expenses .. but I just have to work 3 times as harder to do it....which is fine by me. It would just be nice to have a rest once in a while and have her help out a bit.

All in all I've decided not to even approach her on it for now. D5's big recital is coming up at the National Arts Center and my ex will get to enjoy the end result of all the blood, sweat tears and money put in to it. The last thing I want is conflict at this point.
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Old 05-17-2017, 05:50 PM
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This strikes me as a pretty simple question.

You can ask Mom to contribute towards Kid's extracurricular activities. If she says yes, great. If she says no, you're no worse off than you are now. If she says no and money's getting tight, you'll have to prioritize what you can afford on your income, especially if there's a new baby coming.
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Old 05-17-2017, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by stripes View Post
This strikes me as a pretty simple question.

You can ask Mom to contribute towards Kid's extracurricular activities. If she says yes, great. If she says no, you're no worse off than you are now. If she says no and money's getting tight, you'll have to prioritize what you can afford on your income, especially if there's a new baby coming.
I'd pretty much agree to everything here. The S7 and extra curricular stuff is more in principle than anything. We're pretty good financially. G/f is now a nurse and I have 2 jobs plus I'm a magician (few gigs/week at 200/show). So it's more just like....why doesn't she contribute anything?

We can still pay our bills and live very comfortably with money left over .... but we did cancel out summer vacation. If ex contributed we would still go this summer. When we have a new baby we're fine financially . Equal parenting doesnt seem so equal financially....I literally pay everything....plus offset because she chooses to not make what she's capable of earning.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-17-2017 at 06:40 PM.
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Old 05-17-2017, 06:56 PM
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I understand the principle but C/S is only based on your income and now girlfriend is working as a nurse? You likely have 3times the income your ex has. It is her that can't afford to help pay for ballet by my calculation. What does she bring home? 1,200 a month?

Last edited by SadAndTired; 05-17-2017 at 07:00 PM.
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Old 05-17-2017, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I'd pretty much agree to everything here. The S7 and extra curricular stuff is more in principle than anything. We're pretty good financially. G/f is now a nurse and I have 2 jobs plus I'm a magician (few gigs/week at 200/show). So it's more just like....why doesn't she contribute anything?

We can still pay our bills and live very comfortably with money left over .... but we did cancel out summer vacation. If ex contributed we would still go this summer. When we have a new baby we're fine financially . Equal parenting doesnt seem so equal financially....I literally pay everything....plus offset because she chooses to not make what she's capable of earning.
I see it really isnt a matter of money but just a matter of principal. I can understand that but sometimes you just have to let some stuff go. Ask yourself these questions.

does daughter enjoy it?
is it beneficially to her?
can I really afford it?

If you answered yes to all the above then maybe this isnt a big deal. Yes it would be nice if Mom contributed but if she cannot afford it then its up to you.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:11 PM
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If you are experiencing Financial difficulties Girl Guides of Canada will happily assist. You just have to ask your Sparks Guider if you could apply for financial assistance so D5 can continue in Sparks. I think it's $175 for registration. Not to expensive.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:15 PM
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So if ballet is $1000 and Sparks is $175 you are out of pocket by $560. Does this really mean you cancelled your vacation?

Seems a little petty.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:27 PM
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My youngest is a competitive dancer. Regular ballet lesson for the entire year is $425. Costume was another hundred. Sparks as far as I know is around $175 or less for the year. Total $700 at most.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
So if ballet is $1000 and Sparks is $175 you are out of pocket by $560. Does this really mean you cancelled your vacation?

Seems a little petty.
Wow Beach .. Very surprised by your posts lately. First you frown upon me having D5 make a mothers day card for her mother .. now the petty thing.

I think in a previous post I mentioned it was more on "principle" (keyword). We're equal parents and she pays for nothing. I'm sorry I'm not a mom coming on saying her ex isn't paying anything .. then the "deadbeat" word would be tossed around.

Beach, we're not doing bad but we do have to prioritize (vacations, etc) as my ex refuses to pay anything for our child and I still pay her CS. We'l still go camping, etc as we do every year. I don't think I'm being petty .. fairly odd comment. I bet almost $600 bucks means something to some people during the summer holiday.

I don't think that refusing to offer any financial support to a child should be okay in an equal regime .. but my initial question for the thread was whether or not I should perhaps communicate to her somehow that it would be helpful for her to contribute something...anything ("Principle"). As mentioned...I buy the clothes, school stuff, etc...all kid expenses and activities. For example .. half the clothes I buy D5 stay at my ex's...and half stay here. She just wont buy anything. So it's not all just extra curricular.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-17-2017 at 10:09 PM.
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