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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-11-2016, 11:20 AM
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Default Dealing with Enforcement - please help

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible and not get into the gory details of the divorce itself but I am in desperate need of answers and help

For a short background if it matters I separated over 8 years ago, always paid support and section 7’s, never missing even one even thought that alone was very difficult. I was laid off almost two years ago.I then overpaid the ex for the following 6 months based on my previous salary and then paid based on EI – again, all above board and agreed to.I live rurally with few standard job opportunities so then started a small company that unfortunately made next to no money.Long story short the ex broke our previous separation agreement in basically all ways and took me to court and I have unbelievably been imputed an income based on from when the minute EI ended.

My RRSPs were cashed out to pay for lawyers and court and to simply live many months ago. Savings are next to zero, I no longer own a house or any property besides an 11 year old car and have been forced to move in with friends.I have been ordered to pay her a lump sum of many thousands as well as monthly payments moving forward both of which are impossible until I can somehow find another comparable job(I’ve been looking hard for a very long time already).

I’m told that enforcement will now be calling me soon and after some of the stories I’ve heard I’m terrified.

What I want to know is what happens now when I can’t pay? There are no options that I can see at all.I may be able to borrow some of the blood money but that won’t change anything in terms of the entire lump sum or the ongoing payments which can’t be made so I’d still be destroyed and then have even more debt which again solves nothing for anyone

I’ve read that enforcement will start doing things like emptying any account, ruining my credit, take my drivers licence (which would end all chance of new employment), seize my car and passport, etc. If these things happen my ability to find work, ever pay the ex or even live again will pretty much be gone.

The only thing I have left is an old pension but it’s not much and it’s locked in so I can’t get to it. Can they take that too right now or would they start taking “arrears” from a pension when it begins paying in retirement?

If anyone has dealt with these enforcement people before please help. I don’t know how to deal with them, what to expect or if any of this is even possible to solve.

Thank you
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Old 11-11-2016, 01:48 PM
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Consider a claim for undue hardship dating back to when you were on Ei.
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Old 11-11-2016, 02:04 PM
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If you are in Ontario, and if your old pension is in the form of a LIRA, you may be able to apply to unlock it based on hardship. In your case the hardship would be your low income.
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Old 11-11-2016, 02:55 PM
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Thank you.

But how do I deal with this enforcement matter now? What should I expect?

I've no money left to take this to court again regarding possible undue hardship for example. Self representing I have considered but the ex has a top lawyer and Ill be cut to ribbons most likely. I was destroyed already partially because I had a cheap lawyer who agreed to work for less than usual. The ex has a great job and so does her boyfriend. It isn't a matter of need for her to have done this and she can and will use the courts forever while I've no real means to even mount a defense now.

Either way, a new case would take many months to even be heard so I still have to deal with enforcement.

Does anyone have any experience with them? Can they take the old pension beginning now? Will they take my car and licence? I'm really panicked.

A friend recommended moving out of the country somehow but then my kids are completely lost. I can't sleep, I'm depressed as hell and I don't know what to do or now expect. Sometimes it doesn't even seem worth it to bother waking up anymore.

Ironically this is all after I left an abusive relationship and tried to avoid court.
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Old 11-11-2016, 03:09 PM
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I have some experience (as the recipient though).

You need to register with FRO/MEP and make an arrangement with them. You simply fill out forms and have a financial statement (detailed - provided by FRO) sworn before a commissioner of oaths (this can be done at your local courthouse for free).

You make an arrangement with FRO. If you break your promise then you could face aggressive collection. Making an arrangement with FRO may stave off FRO having your drivers' license suspended. If you wait to do this, and make no efforts to pay anything, then things will get more difficult for you. Do not put your head under your pillow ... this will not go away.

You need to get a job. You should keep a detailed record of your job search efforts. You have children and are responsible to contribute to the cost of raising them. You might have to look to eventually moving to an area where you can find employment.

My recommendation would also include for you to focus less on your perception of ex's need (or lack of need of child support) at this time. Court only cares about the best interests of the children.

Undue hardship is a very difficult road. If you are young, healthy and able to work then you will have an extremely difficult time convincing the court that your situation is exceptional and you should not have to contribute to cost of raising your children.

http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/en/mcss/pr...esponsibility/

Last word of advice - don't listen to your ex or her lawyer.

Last edited by arabian; 11-11-2016 at 03:15 PM.
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Old 11-11-2016, 03:24 PM
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"You need to get a job. You should keep a detailed record of your job search efforts. You have children and are responsible to contribute to the cost of raising them. You might have to look to eventually moving to an area where you can find employment"

I've done that record keeping for ages already and it was submitted to the court. Over 200 applications to everything from minimum wage to professional over many months. I'm 48 with a professional background. No one is going to hire me at the GAP, gas station or home depot. I've tried many times. Besides, what is the point?

Get a job? I appreciate your comments but for gods sake I've been trying forever and if I had been able to I probably could have avoided court to begin with and not have this to deal with. Moving? How? I don't have enough left to even set myself up for a couple months anywhere without a job and I mean a good one.

My "perception" is that I'm ruined and terrified. I've no means to pay her, no way to support myself let alone my children so they are de facto gone as it is and now this? If my licence is gone that helps no one, not even her.

I'm not familiar with this agreement you speak of. Agreement to pay what? $50 bucks isn't going to do it.
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Old 11-11-2016, 03:34 PM
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50.00/month is better than nothing. It is your intention and recognition of your obligation to your children which will convince the enforcement people to perhaps give you a break until you can get on your feet.

I sincerely empathize with your situation. It must be extremely frustrating for you. However, only you can make things better. You may have to go through a period of working really lousy jobs while looking for something better. Bottom line is to make an arrangement with FRO and keeping it. Yes, 50.00/month might make the difference in convincing an over-worked FRO person that you are sincere in honoring your obligation of contributing towards your children. How are you surviving now? How do you eat? How do you put gas in your car?

Hope things turn around for you.

You have to do your research and learn to help yourself. In my previous post I put a link for FRO. All you have to do (to get to a position to make an arrangement) is to get registered. Actually, registering with FRO before your ex does is a good move IMO. I find it surprising that your ex has not registered with FRO yet?

Last edited by arabian; 11-11-2016 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 11-11-2016, 03:55 PM
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How are you making a living now? EI? Welfare? Nothing? You cannot have zero income. If you are as educated as you say, you can find something. Go to a temp agency, they don't care what your educational background is, they will find you something even for the short term. You have to understand, you can't just say "Sorry I have no money, I can't pay", without having proof of that. Why didn't you go back to court to have CS reflective on your income?
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Old 11-11-2016, 04:42 PM
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"How are you making a living now? EI? Welfare? Nothing? You cannot have zero income. If you are as educated as you say, you can find something. Go to a temp agency, they don't care what your educational background is, they will find you something even for the short term. You have to understand, you can't just say "Sorry I have no money, I can't pay", without having proof of that. Why didn't you go back to court to have CS reflective on your income? "

I've been living on savings and thank god with friends who aren't charging me. What is CS? I don't qualify for welfare because of my address and like I said I can't afford to go back to court regardless.

Bullshit about temp agencies. You don't know what it's like or what I'm going through so please don't pretend you do. I'm registered with 7 different search/temp agencies and have been for ages. I check in all the time. I get 4 emailed job lists each morning and search after that. I don't want to be unemployed obviously but frankly I am so tired of this attitude. As if it's so damn simple and easy.

"It's simple, just go get a job"... spare me. You try being a gray haired man pushing 50 being interviewed by a 23 year old fool girl who is stupid enough to think your pre-internet and really "don't understand what it's all about" buddy. They don't want to give their " dumb dads" jobs and my professional background doesn't help in the least. I almost had a job doing drywall and insurance assessments. I met the boss, we talked, all seemed good.

Then he required my resume and even when dumbed down it ended the opportunity. Basically, no one will hire me for work like that because they think I'll leave asap based on my background and you know what? Even thought I need it and would take it, they're right!

I bartended my way through university and no one ever gave me a dime and I've been on my own since 18. I always figured I could fall back on that if nothing else but apparently I'm now too old and haven't been in the biz for too long. Again, I've tried many times. I've tried private bartending, writing rich kids essays for them, opening a consulting business, applying for nearly anything even remotely related to my experience so no one please try to sit back like "wise" sultans and tell me I haven't tried because I am so damn sick of it. Destroying myself financially has never been a goal friend and I'm sick of people telling me I can just go get a job at the local corner store because after all this time and trying it isn't going to happen.

When I have gone for those jobs, you know what I see? Pity in their sad eyes. Pity. I killed myself to improve my life for decades and I get pity at this age when I apply for jobs making fucking cheese in some woman's basement and they still won't hire me. I expected to see a lot of things but I never expected to see that in any job interview in my life.

Anyway.....look, I asked specifically about enforcement issues so I can try to deal with them somehow. That's why I came here, not to be given half informed advice about jobs by people who know nothing of my situation. I would really appreciate appropriate answers if this forum is worth it's salt.

If I can truly get advice on how to deal with this and hopefully turn things around one day for the benefit of my children, my family and myself great.
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Old 11-11-2016, 05:13 PM
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CS understood.

I apologise I'm just so incredibly tired. It's been nearly 4 years of being beaten down by the ex financially and when at my weakest she goes to court and this is the unbelievable result.

I need to know what will happen and how to try to deal with it please.
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