CS payments - not taking them

[amazedbyitall]

what do you do when the ex doesn't accept child support after you have notified them you will not be paying via cheque anymore ...but given options of direct deposit or banking info - ex won't provide that .

[gzy039]

My husband's ex wouldn't cash our cheques at one point (claimed she didn't receive them - which was bs) so we dropped off cheques to her lawyer's office and had the lawyer sign for them. She cashed those ones.

[Exquizique]

Originally Posted by amazedbyitall

what do you do when the ex doesn't accept child support after you have notified them you will not be paying via cheque anymore ...but given options of direct deposit or banking info - ex won't provide that .

What do you mean by "doesn't accept"? Refuse to accept payment in any other form except cheques?

If that's the case, what I would be inclined to do (which is not necessarily the "best" way depending on various factors) is:
-- send letter stating that you will no longer be paying via cheques, but will pay via alternative method (eg. direct deposit)
-- when the time comes to pay (ie. at the beginning of the month or some agreed upon date), if info still has not been provided, take the amount you would have paid out and set it aside
-- send another letter repeating what you said in your first letter, indicating that you have set the money aside but cannot provide it to her unless she provides you with the info required
-- Keep doing this every month until
a) info required is provided or
b) she tries to obtain payment from you via another means, which could be court action, or perhaps registering with FRO

If dealing with FRO, just send the money monthly to FRO, and you don't have to deal with how she wants to get the money as she will be dealing with them then.

In any case, you will have the money set aside each month so you can instantly repay arrears if and when a mutually agreed solution to the method of payment is agreed upon. If she doesn't want the money becasue she wants to fuss over the method of payment, then let it sit somewhere earning interest for you until she does.

That's just my opinion.

[winterwolf7]

Ex refusing to take your money? Awesome.

Make sure you can show your attempts to pay. Send them a monthly notice continuing to request their banking info is about all you can do I guess. You won't be able to get out of paying, but eventually they will probably decide they want the money more than the fight over the method of receiving it. I paid my ex by cheques for the first few months and once things settled down she wanted me to switch to deposit and I didn't see any reason not to.

I think the default method of payment for most people is actually usually still cheques, but I do mine by direct deposit off my paycheque so I never have to think about it and have an easy paper trail.

[NBDad]

Email money transfer. Stupid easy, all you need is her email address.

It expires after 30 days and the money is returned to you if unclaimed.

Clear paper trail showing payment attempts.

Has a "note to recipient" section you can you to enter "CS for date XX-XX-XXXX" to show what it's intended for.

Bonus points if you sent it to an email account she uses and you can prove is used.

[Exquizique]

Originally Posted by NBDad

Email money transfer. Stupid easy, all you need is her email address.

It expires after 30 days and the money is returned to you if unclaimed.

Clear paper trail showing payment attempts.

Has a "note to recipient" section you can you to enter "CS for date XX-XX-XXXX" to show what it's intended for.

Bonus points if you sent it to an email account she uses and you can prove is used.

Totally forgot about this -- yes, a good alternative

[Clean]

that's what i use. The documents my ex served me with claim i don't pay child support. I've got "accepted" e-mail money transfer records going back a year (when i started) to prove i have.

[amazedbyitall]

thank you all , exactly doing that several emails and by NB Dad's ideas as well I have ready to send to her a registered letter with the copy of emails and requests. Cheques were done and no issues over the years but a few cheques were cashed early etc . I beleive the best is the e transfer and records are kept . Although cheques are in a record as well .In the end if this is an issue going to FRO is the best , I pay nevered missed and tried of the control she is playing . If it does go to court I am sure a judge is going to see how she was given options and never replied ... also not providing her taxes .

[winterwolf7]

Better off to avoid FRO as much as you possibly can for all parties, though sometimes there's no other option.

[billiechic]

email money tranfers are the way to go for sure. but my advice is to set up a separate account that is ONLY for child support and then the money will return that account and not get accidentally spent elsewhere.

I think my ex has just registered with FRO despite the fact that the money is automatically transfered to his bank account every first of the month Even worse is that it is likely he will soon be paying me, and then FRO will probably continue deducting money from my income automatically for months at least.