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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-02-2012, 02:39 PM
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I'm ready to move on with my life but it does irk me that I've invested $24K in mortgage payments over the 3 years. The child's father told him he didn't have to listen to me since I'm not his Dad and I know my ex would fight to not allow me any access time as she tried to change their agreement to get sole custody and failed... so that's in my favor... I think she is bluffing.....
Thanks for hearing me and the advice...
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgh77 View Post
I'm ready to move on with my life but it does irk me that I've invested $24K in mortgage payments over the 3 years. The child's father told him he didn't have to listen to me since I'm not his Dad and I know my ex would fight to not allow me any access time as she tried to change their agreement to get sole custody and failed... so that's in my favor... I think she is bluffing.....
Thanks for hearing me and the advice...
That works out to $666.67 monthly rental payments.. You would have paid much more than that out on the rental marked... you actually saved yourself money!
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:48 PM
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I gotcha sgh but if you consider at even at a modest rent of around 700k a month (which is hard to find a decent apt for)...you're going to be paying around that amount in the same 3 yrs and still only contributing to the landlord's equity.

I'm not suggesting you have no claim...only that it might not be worth the time, trouble, stress to pursue. Whether you do or not is up to you.

The whole situation is unfortunate for the child also.

Anyway, whatever you decide...best wishes in moving on to your new life.
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Old 08-02-2012, 03:11 PM
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Live and learn... I was stupidly in love and sold my house which I just broke even with. If the roles were reversed, do you think she would go after me for 50% of the equity?
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Old 08-02-2012, 03:19 PM
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Live and learn... I was stupidly in love and sold my house which I just broke even with. If the roles were reversed, do you think she would go after me for 50% of the equity?
That I can't answer...I don't know her.

What I can tell you is that her chances for success would be about the same.

What are your motives here? Revenge or compensation?

If its compensation...you paid a very fair amount of rent. I would definitely talk about splitting the joint debt up with her however.

If you want revenge...that is not what the court system is for and you'll be hurting yourself in the long run in my opinion.

By the way: All people take risks in relationships...its par for the course. I'm sorry it didn't work out though.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 08-02-2012 at 03:21 PM.
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Old 08-02-2012, 03:40 PM
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It is not worth fighting for. You are only counting 50% of the equity but not counting 50% of the her debts.

Whether or not she is bluffing about the child support, she can by all means file an application for it. You will have to defend it whether or not you like it. In the end the judge might side with her and then you will be stuck with not only your legal bills but also hers.

You should still sign an agreement with her that no claims will be filed in future, just to protect you both and get the lawyers to rubber stamp it.
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:39 PM
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here is my thoughts, you will end up paying a lawyer 7500 to argue the
equity in the home. you will lose this arguement when the other side argues that that is basically a good deal on rent.

I also dont think they would win a child support award from what i have read.

walk away, this is an absolute no brainer, dont fight over chump change, the lawyers will be only winners

best of luck, raven
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Old 08-03-2012, 12:14 AM
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I also concur with other posters. It's not worth fighting for "maybe" $25,000 when you MIGHT lose; get hit with CS as a step parent, not to mention legal fees, blah , blah, etc never mind the stress of it all.

Also, in addition to comparing it to cheap rent, keep in mind I suspect the bulk of your mortgage payments were simply paying the "interest" with very little of it going towards the mortgage principle.

Make sure you see a GOOD lawyer and make bloody sure you have something ironclad she can't come after you later for CS for the stepchild. That could be BIG dollars which would make the $25,000 house money a drop in the bucket.
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Old 08-03-2012, 12:45 AM
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Aside from credit card and lines of credit debts, I'd say (all things considered, and the horrific cost and time involved w/litigation) the walk-away option sounds pretty good. I assume you are not on title to the home?

Here's some perspective for you: a 2.5 day trial, including a small amount of pre-trial prep was (just on my side) over 25k. If Bio-dad has, and exercises 50%access/custody - one would think it's a weak argument to say that you were acting as a parent, to that child. Legal fees, Real Estate fees and the time/stress involved - it's not in anyone's interest to pursue this fight. That's just my opinion.
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Old 08-03-2012, 06:53 AM
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sometimes you just have to know when to walk away. I am sure any equity etc will be quickly wiped out by lawyers fees. Take into consideration lost wages for lawyers appointments etc. The stress of dealing with this is something to also consider.

It was a short term marriage, dont let the legal stuff last longer then the marriage.
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