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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2010, 03:14 PM
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jaysneed,

You have contradicted yourself a few times in your posts. You know that it costs money to have a child during the day, yet you are freaking that your ex is spending money on clothing herself and not the children.
Please, save your sad money stories to someone else other than posting your rants about money on here.
It's getting kind of tiring.
Not every mother is trying to rip off the father, maybe in your case, but then deal with it!
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
You said exactly what I have peen saying, so if your life style before separation or not being able to survive on the lesser amount, what is your whole argument? Or you just want to disagree with everything I say because of something you didn't like hearing before. But I am not here for this back and forth games. I am here for advice, and if I disagree with what your saying I am free to my own opinions, just like you are.
Stop looking for arguments. I'm not disagreeing with everything you say..everyone is just sick of you arguing with the advice they are offering..especially when it is NOT offered to you!

Get off your high horse!
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
jaysneed,

You have contradicted yourself a few times in your posts. You know that it costs money to have a child during the day, yet you are freaking that your ex is spending money on clothing herself and not the children.
Please, save your sad money stories to someone else other than posting your rants about money on here.
It's getting kind of tiring.
Not every mother is trying to rip off the father, maybe in your case, but then deal with it!
I never said anything about all mother are trying to rip off the fathers, and that's why I am here to help deal with what I can do. She is attacking my spending habits so that is why I am here trying to get advice instead of this slander. She doesn't want to reduce CS because it will induce her spending habits, not mine.
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:32 PM
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YOU ARE ATTACKING HER SPENDING HABITS! ($9/day for daycare...secondhand clothes..) C'mon! How old are you? This sounds like bickering between 6 year olds! Grow up and be a PARENT and ROLE MODEL for your kid!
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:33 PM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Stop looking for arguments. I'm not disagreeing with everything you say..everyone is just sick of you arguing with the advice they are offering..especially when it is NOT offered to you!

Get off your high horse!
So whats your best advice for someone who's argument is that the only money spent on the child which is including daycare, piano lessons, food, shelter, and clothing for the month is what you provide. What money does she contribute towards my child.
I am not talking based on feelings, I am talking about cold hard evidence. I am to ignore that because once it is her hands it is her money. That is the best advice I get?
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:42 PM
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What were her spending habits before when you were together? Did you have a problem then?
Tell her then not to mind what you spend your money on but that would mean you should stop questioning hers.
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
So whats your best advice for someone who's argument is that the only money spent on the child which is including daycare, piano lessons, food, shelter, and clothing for the month is what you provide. What money does she contribute towards my child.
I am not talking based on feelings, I am talking about cold hard evidence. I am to ignore that because once it is her hands it is her money. That is the best advice I get?

I highly doubt that you are the only one supporting her and the children with monthly CS payments.
She has expenses, food, shelter, bills, mortgage, gas, insurance, etc just like you do and Im sure CS doesn't cover all the above.
You might not be able to see those expenses as you are focused on her and her spending.
Does she work? Is she maybe saving alittle for the children's education?
Don't you want her to have some money set aside?

Last edited by tugofwar; 06-28-2010 at 03:48 PM.
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
YOU ARE ATTACKING HER SPENDING HABITS! ($9/day for daycare...secondhand clothes..) C'mon! How old are you? This sounds like bickering between 6 year olds! Grow up and be a PARENT and ROLE MODEL for your kid!

First of all when I am with my daughter it is a whole other case, I don't disrespect her mother when I drop her off, I don't talk about these court litigation with or around my daughter.

My problem is because one of her many lies helped her kidnap my daughter for 10 months, until a judge had to be more specific about access due to misunderstanding's. Caused by who? But what did I get out of that whole ordeal Wednesday access and every second Saturday over night access. All of this because my lawyer neglected to file the response, it was due to my irresponsibility on relying on my lawyer to file, someone who I paid to do so. Now isn't that why lawyers have runners/processors for them?

My rights as a father and human being got taken away from me the time she decided to up and leave because of her selfish reasons, too selfish and unimaginable for anyone to believe. She was granted a restraining order and asked to bring proof at a later date, doesn't that say guilty until proven innocent. And to this day still has not provided any, but yet it is still there.

So, please what can I do, all I have been doing is working hard and fighting to see my daughter, and so far nothing has worked. Luckily now we have a new judge because there was a final order made, So I brought a motion to change. All I am was asking and maybe I might of got out of hand is advice, I am frustrated and I miss my daughter like hell. What can I do?
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
What money does she contribute towards my child.
Your c/s contribution is for a portion of the household expenses of the child. Everything from the cable bill, water bill, electricity bill to food, maintenance and clothing.

The way that c/s was determined was to give the child the benefit of having the lifestyle of that if both parents remained together. Whether I agree with that position or not, it was model used.



Quote:
I am to ignore that because once it is her hands it is her money. That is the best advice I get?
Yeah, pretty much.

You're getting bent over things you have no control over. If you pay c/s and the ex pays her car bill with it, well, she is using her own money to pay for all of the other needs of the child. You seem to be looking at c/s very narrowly and want receipts for how she uses it. Once the money is in the hands of the custodial parent it may be used as they deem fit. The payor has no say over this.

Now, if you want to ask a real question about fairness, ask how is it that c/s is determined to be the payors proportional amount to the costs of the child, but doesn't get to write-off an equally proportional amount of the child??
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:49 PM
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She may not be able to contribute as much money as you, but she still contibutes her fair proportion. Plus, if she has the kids most of the time, then she must invest more time, effort and all those things that a parent does, than you do. Parenting is NOT about money, but it does cost money to raise kids.

You need to remember that there is MUCH MORE to parenting than the dollar figure. I grew up with divorced parents, and a dad who never paid a dime of CS. BUT, he was there for me whenever I needed him. Even though I lost out on "things" and my mom worked extra hard to provide, I still won because I had a dad whom I loved. In then end that was all that mattered.
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