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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2011, 04:45 PM
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You should stop freeloading and get a job.
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Old 04-02-2011, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by canadamama View Post
This is my point - time after time I see women coming on here asking about their entitlement to SS, only to be told to stop freeloading and get a job. These questions are perfectly legitimate for a forum such as this, but asking them here invites attack and derision, time after time.
There's a river in Russia, it's called the Crimea.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2011, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Mess View Post
You should stop freeloading and get a job.
??? To whom is this addressed? To me? To the OP? WTH, Mess???
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Old 04-02-2011, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
There's a river in Russia, it's called the Crimea.
What does this even mean? (OK I mean beyond the Cry Me A River reference)

It certainly doesn't address my point at all. Are you saying that it is 'whiny' to ask that unnecessary personal attacks stop being par for the course on this forum? I can't really see any other interpretation... What IS this?

Are you saying that women seeking SS should not EXPECT to find respectful and informative responses on this forum?? That personal attacks are just fine in threads involving SS?

How can you possibly expect to be taken seriously? I don't think anyone can argue at this point, having read this thread, that this is NOT a site that leans heavily towards supporting men and vilifying women. There may be a few women here who toe the party line and therefore avoid attack, but clearly, any woman who comes here seeking information about her SS entitlement (which is a perfectly legitimate line of inquiry in a forum such as this), can expect nothing but nasty comments and attacks on her character.
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Old 04-02-2011, 11:52 PM
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Wow!! Don't you guys think that I am hurting more than enough??

Thank-you to CANADAMAM for understanding and trying to explain to these insensitive people.

I am hurting beyond believe. Maybe you guys should think before throwing out assumptions.

My children and I have been very emotionally abused.

As far as financially, I am the one that supported my husband completely (for 2 years before getting married) with a roof over his head and and everything that a house has to offer without one penny from him so that he could pay for his 30 year old's rent even though he made more money than me (I had 3 kids as well to support)
We bought a house where I was the one that put the huge deposit on it and had of course all the furnishings and appliances etc.

We have been together for a total of 7 years.

DON'T WORRY I AM TOTALLY RETIRED TO EVER BEING WITH ANYONE. I GAVE MY TOTAL HEART AND SOUL.

I just want to be able to survive the next few years. If any of you knew just half the pain that my children and I have endured, you would understand that at the least I need to be able to promise them that they will have a safe home to live in.
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Old 04-03-2011, 03:31 AM
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Ihave to say that we are all in emotionally charged situations that involve persons on the other side who can be vindictive, unethical and outright liars. I too have seen posts which can be harsh, but i have to say that the men on here who have offered there assistance to me have been respectful. I only wish that my daughters father had half the character that they have shown in caring for their children...however I beleive that we all need to dial it down a notch and try to be understanding of each other. Also, remember when using a forum you do not have the other mediums needed to understand context nor emotion such as non verbal communication and tone of voice. I hope that we all come through this on the other side with just a few dents and not a total write off.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 04-03-2011, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by canadamama View Post
What does this even mean? (OK I mean beyond the Cry Me A River reference)

It certainly doesn't address my point at all. Are you saying that it is 'whiny' to ask that unnecessary personal attacks stop being par for the course on this forum? I can't really see any other interpretation... What IS this?

Are you saying that women seeking SS should not EXPECT to find respectful and informative responses on this forum?? That personal attacks are just fine in threads involving SS?

How can you possibly expect to be taken seriously? I don't think anyone can argue at this point, having read this thread, that this is NOT a site that leans heavily towards supporting men and vilifying women. There may be a few women here who toe the party line and therefore avoid attack, but clearly, any woman who comes here seeking information about her SS entitlement (which is a perfectly legitimate line of inquiry in a forum such as this), can expect nothing but nasty comments and attacks on her character.
It means that your knee jerk man bashing statement is total bullshit. It means that you are completely OUT TO LUNCH. This "...site leans heavily towards supporting men and vilifying women..." Gagghhhh, puke, disgustingly gross --------------> BBBllleeeeccchhhh.

Get out your binoculars Lugan, cuz you up shit's creek and you need to find your paddle!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrysalis68 View Post
Wow!! Don't you guys think that I am hurting more than enough??

Thank-you to CANADAMAM for understanding and trying to explain to these insensitive people.

I am hurting beyond believe. Maybe you guys should think before throwing out assumptions.

My children and I have been very emotionally abused.

As far as financially, I am the one that supported my husband completely (for 2 years before getting married) with a roof over his head and and everything that a house has to offer without one penny from him so that he could pay for his 30 year old's rent even though he made more money than me (I had 3 kids as well to support)
We bought a house where I was the one that put the huge deposit on it and had of course all the furnishings and appliances etc.

We have been together for a total of 7 years.

DON'T WORRY I AM TOTALLY RETIRED TO EVER BEING WITH ANYONE. I GAVE MY TOTAL HEART AND SOUL.

I just want to be able to survive the next few years. If any of you knew just half the pain that my children and I have endured, you would understand that at the least I need to be able to promise them that they will have a safe home to live in.
You think that we here don't know "...half the pain..."? How plainly self-centred of you. Thank you for advising us of your pain. Otherwise, none of us would have known better.

News flash! Separation and divorce hurts! Badly! But your hurt doesn't create a SS entitlement. Separate your hurt from the $$ and things will settle up quicker.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 04-03-2011 at 09:37 AM.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 04-03-2011, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by mummer1962 View Post
Ihave to say that we are all in emotionally charged situations that involve persons on the other side who can be vindictive, unethical and outright liars. I too have seen posts which can be harsh, but i have to say that the men on here who have offered there assistance to me have been respectful. I only wish that my daughters father had half the character that they have shown in caring for their children...however I beleive that we all need to dial it down a notch and try to be understanding of each other. Also, remember when using a forum you do not have the other mediums needed to understand context nor emotion such as non verbal communication and tone of voice. I hope that we all come through this on the other side with just a few dents and not a total write off.
Mummer1962, I would like to ask you to read through this thread. Please read the responses to the OP, and then to me, and the vitriolic, nasty post by Dadtotheend above. Would you describe those posts as respectful? Do you think that the problem with those posts is that we can't hear tone of voice to temper them? What on earth did Chrysalis say to deserve the attacks she received? What did *I* say? She posted asking a simple question, which required either a simple response, or clarifying questions, if necessary. *I* committed the cardinal sin of calling out those who responded on their unnecessary judgement of her life decisions, which they made based on a few sentences, with no desire to try to actually help her by answering her question. The message was clear: "This forum is not to help the likes of YOU, lady. This is OUR forum, and career serial wives collecting SS from poor unsuspecting men can get the hell out." That message is repeated in thread after thread after thread, whenever any woman comes here seeking information about SS, and when I pointed that out, rather than indicating that they have any concern about this forum being an open and safe place for all, they turn their name-calling and vitriole on me.

People who come here are vulnerable, and they come here seeking support and information. If they are men seeking access to their kids, they get it. If they are women seeking spousal support, they just get kicked when they are down, and anyone who points that out gets a stout kick as well.

Seriously, Mummer1962 - read the posts above and tell me I am wrong.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 04-03-2011, 10:40 AM
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...tell me I am wrong.
You are wrong.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 04-03-2011, 10:44 AM
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You are wrong.
You are right.

Cheers!

Gary
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