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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-13-2016, 08:51 PM
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If it is offset than you are both responsible for these expenses. You need to figure out a way to split them. People have different ways to do it. We split 'big ticket items' according to income, usually coats and boots, but there are few because we get so many hand me downs. Over the years we have learned to not be petty about small stuff.
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Old 09-13-2016, 09:26 PM
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i beg to differ with stripes and ele110.

Stripes has a seperation agreemnt that specifically stipulates something so that is an exception.

REGULAR, non-special expenses are covered by child support. It is only SPECIAL or daycare expenses which are split proportionately. If EVERY kids or almost EVERY kid needs something it is 50/50 by default.

I am basing this on Quebec Law but I tihnk it should be the same everywhere/
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Old 09-13-2016, 11:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
i beg to differ with stripes and ele110.

Stripes has a seperation agreemnt that specifically stipulates something so that is an exception.

REGULAR, non-special expenses are covered by child support. It is only SPECIAL or daycare expenses which are split proportionately. If EVERY kids or almost EVERY kid needs something it is 50/50 by default.

I am basing this on Quebec Law but I tihnk it should be the same everywhere/


I think child support can be compared to welfare. A payment for basic necessities of life, I.e., shelter, food, clothes, etc. It most certainly isn't a cash for life lottery ticket to the parent with primary care or lower income and We all know it can be especially when you're the one purchasing the clothing while the other parent is in "poverty" on welfare and needs more child support meanwhile she's out tanning and purchasing tattoos.






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Last edited by trinton; 09-13-2016 at 11:19 PM.
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Old 09-14-2016, 10:46 AM
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OK....here is another crazy idea. How about people that have 50-50 just devise a simple system where clothes that comes with kid(s) just goes back in a big ziploc during exchange?

This past week, our son was attending a church function where the ex goes, I told her after to just keep the nice suit and shoes there for future events, as he already has another suit at my place. We have 50-50 parenting and I pay disparity in income CS
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Old 09-14-2016, 12:06 PM
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Because not every party is reasonable or cooperative.
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Old 09-14-2016, 01:03 PM
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In your case , by stuff for your kid to have at your house and buy back to school stuff. If it's offset then You're both paying child support. Don't buy clothes for her for moms house. That's not your responsibility. Gifts and presents are different story, you could buy those and let child take them where she wants them.
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OK....here is another crazy idea. How about people that have 50-50 just devise a simple system where clothes that comes with kid(s) just goes back in a big ziploc during exchange?

This past week, our son was attending a church function where the ex goes, I told her after to just keep the nice suit and shoes there for future events, as he already has another suit at my place. We have 50-50 parenting and I pay disparity in income CS
Because not every party is reasonable or cooperative.
My kids bring stuff to their dad's house, and it rarely comes back to me unless it is the clothing they are wearing. Then later they want to play with it at my house, and can't find it. I tell them to bring it back from their dad's and hear things like 'he threw it out' or 'it's lost.'

I now try to keep the stuff they bring over there to a minimum. It's not that their dad is even unreasonable or uncooperative; he's just cheap, lazy and disorganized. Sometimes you just have to adapt to the person you are coparenting with.
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Old 09-14-2016, 01:19 PM
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Is there an exchange bag (not kids school bags)? If there is one, then stuff goes in that and in our case the parent doing the exchange drops the bag off at the after school place for the other parent.

One person needs to initiate a working system, and soon enough the other will get onboard. I also introduced a message book (black book) that goes in the bag with notes on things the other parent needs to know from the week. Every is dated for records sake

Yes, the odd toys will end up here and there, but as long as the kids are using it, that's all that matters.

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My kids bring stuff to their dad's house, and it rarely comes back to me unless it is the clothing they are wearing. Then later they want to play with it at my house, and can't find it. I tell them to bring it back from their dad's and hear things like 'he threw it out' or 'it's lost.'

I now try to keep the stuff they bring over there to a minimum. It's not that their dad is even unreasonable or uncooperative; he's just cheap, lazy and disorganized. Sometimes you just have to adapt to the person you are coparenting with.
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Old 09-14-2016, 01:30 PM
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I find what works best is for the child wear the clothes they arrived in, change and wash them at the end of the day and put them back on the child and return when they leave - they use your clothes while staying over. In the rare event that the child really likes a cloth at your house or has to take back an extra jacket or w.e, let the child take it along with the clothes they came in. A lot of the times you will never see them again, but your child will remember who was being child focused and reasonable and who wasn't. I hope.

Last edited by trinton; 09-14-2016 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 09-14-2016, 03:20 PM
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OK....here is another crazy idea. How about people that have 50-50 just devise a simple system where clothes that comes with kid(s) just goes back in a big ziploc during exchange?
While we are at it, we can probably do away with the entire family court system. Instead of spending tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers, people could just devise a simple way of splitting their assets and their time with the children.
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Old 09-14-2016, 03:21 PM
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I have that situation as well and often times the nice clothes that the kids left my house with last week disappear and not so nice clothes seem to come back a week later . Also my kids nice clothes ( that I purchased for them) also seem to then be worn by the children of the guy that my ex lives with now .

I know it sounds petty but kids name brand clothes now are very expensive and it sucks when you don't get to see them in that great jersey or hoodie that they wanted so bad because it disappears right away .

But hey at least I am able to get them the clothes that they want. Some kids don't .
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