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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 02:34 PM
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I agree kids need to work and put themselves through school which is what I did as well. Also believe they are going to have a much harder time finding suitable careers, even with an education.
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Old 04-29-2013, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by momiss2 View Post
I know that its all about money for him because I was with him for 25 years.
The day you two separated was the start of a new life. Single parenthood will usually force a person to change and become a better parent. It doesn't matter anymore between you two, only the kids.


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Originally Posted by momiss2 View Post
Any extra money I have is spent on my daughter for cloting she may need, groceries etc. when she was away at school last year.
When your child moves in with her dad and you start paying full child support, you won't have to worry about the clothes, groceries, activities, etc, as those will be the dad's responsibility paid for by your child support.


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Its about a power play on the x's part and wanting to screw me anyway he can. That has always been what its about. He makes more.
Your ex has no say in it. Child Support is the right of a child, so he can't tell you don't worry about paying. The law says you have to pay. The good part is given her age, you won't have to pay for long.

It makes no difference who makes more money. CS still has to be paid. Janus' posts will tell you all about it.

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In the agreement it said 150 spousal which he hasn't paid. What does that tell you.
It tell me you are condoning it, letting him get away with it. The first time he didn't pay, you should have been back in court garnishing his pay and forcing payment. By letting him get away with it for so long shows you don't need it as bad as you say.
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Old 04-29-2013, 03:35 PM
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True ....but I'll like to think the percentage is minimal.
Talk to friends with children in university, or better yet talk to their kids. The students that fill grad schools were able to spend their time studying or volunteering, not working minimum wage jobs through school. Kids today have it easy in many ways, but with very few exceptions does Bobby who works to pay for school get ahead of Betty whose parents are giving her a free ride unless Betty is too lazy to apply herself at school.

It is not an accident that they are called "advantages".
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:05 PM
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It makes no difference who makes more money. CS still has to be paid. Janus' posts will tell you all about it.
My particular situation is that I have fully shared custody, and I pay CS to a substantially wealthier household, completely contrary to the best interests of my children, as mandated by family law. As a result, my view on support is somewhat negative.

But yeah, CS in a full custody situation is potentially extractable under all circumstances, regardless of any agreement by the parents.

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The first time he didn't pay, you should have been back in court garnishing his pay and forcing payment. By letting him get away with it for so long shows you don't need it as bad as you say.
True for spousal support, not true for child support. Remember, spousal support is needs based to a certain extent, CS is not. Your ex could be Bill Gates, but if he has your kids, you're still looking at paying CS on your $30K salary, even if he hasn't claimed it for the last 3 years.
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:26 PM
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I assume when the child was younger and living with you, that he paid CS, because you never mentioned he didn't...just that he didn't pay SS... that being said, now that the tables are turned, you are obligated to pay... I also assume, had she decided to live with you, you would still go after CS.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:29 AM
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I know now what happened: That he bribed her, using her car, to stay with him and that it was planned and premeditated. He lied to her and used her against me. At 20, they should know the impact of their choices, especially if it affects one parent so badly. She has been used by her father against me, for his benefit. He turned her against me after the separation and she woldn't talk to me for a year. In her words "I'm sorry dad is screwing you around". This is a very sad situation. Not the way I raised her certainly. Very sad that I ever married the man that would do this to his x of 22 years, and that he would teach his daughter this as well.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:50 AM
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Give the CS money directly to the adult child while she is living with her father. This will definitely cover her clothing and food for the summer, and hopefully she'll set some aside for her next school year. It might even teach her to budget. He can charge her room and board if he wants a share of it, or take away her car since things didn't go as he planned.
It's only four months. If he wants to argue and take you to court about it, summer will be over by the time anything happens. You'll have proof (keep the cancelled cheques!) that you met your CS obligation, he'll look like a selfish jerk, and the daughter gets taught that she should make her own choices.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:55 AM
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She has agreed to live with me part time. She warned me that dad said she doesn't get her car on the days she is with me. Luckily I have insurance on my car for her.

Thanks for your replies everyone.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Give the CS money directly to the adult child while she is living with her father....
...If he wants to argue and take you to court about it, summer will be over by the time anything happens. You'll have proof (keep the cancelled cheques!) that you met your CS obligation, he'll look like a selfish jerk, and the daughter gets taught that she should make her own choices.
If this is acceptable (is it? I know that's a common complaint of support-payors, that they want to pay the child directly, but have to pay the parent instead...but I've only seen that complaint come up with much younger children; perhaps with adult children this is okay?)...

Make sure you write on any cheques, that it says "child support" or it's distinguishable as "child support". I could just see a parent causing issues with this, and trying to claim it was "other money" being given directly to the child, and they were still owed child support.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:58 AM
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If this is acceptable (is it?
No. Gifts to your child do not vitiate your child support obligation. Numerous cases have payor parents doing this, and then being found in arrears of child support.
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