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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 11-18-2016, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
That's actually not a bad idea.



Went to the parent teacher interview tonight. D5 is doing amazing and flourishing across all domains and has tons of friends just as I knew she would. When the teacher asked us if we felt she was enjoying school I told her that she loves it and it's all she talks about .. ex said "ya, when she wants to go". It's amazing how different it is between households. I'm a super proud dad tonight though, what a great meeting.


Did either you or the teacher ask her what she was talking about and how she is encouraging her to enjoy school???

This woman is a piece of work. Does she not want her child to get a good education? I know its just kindergarten but they teach a lot of the fundamentals in it. Her child will show up in grade 1 with limited skills and being behind the other kids!!
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 11-18-2016, 02:56 PM
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Did either you or the teacher ask her what she was talking about and how she is encouraging her to enjoy school???

This woman is a piece of work. Does she not want her child to get a good education? I know its just kindergarten but they teach a lot of the fundamentals in it. Her child will show up in grade 1 with limited skills and being behind the other kids!!
Kindergarten prepares children for formal learning in grade 1. Studies show that a significant percentage of students who opt to skip kindergarten often don't do well in grade 1.
In D5's case, she has developed stable friendships, is now writing letters/numbers and can even add by 2's. Her French is going very well and she's made a great circle of friends.

I don't think my ex was expecting such an amazing report.....I certainly was though.

To answer your question .. the teacher didn't question my ex at all. But I think she "got it"....I do believe that my ex wants her to succeed ... but at my ex's pace. She's not ready to let go.

If you recall my ex's mom had depression when her husband left her. My ex basically parented her mom....slept in her moms bed with her as a teen...and eventually was formally diagnosed with depression herself in her teens. So this attachment thing isn't surprising.

I don't agree with Links much but perhaps I do need to grow some. I guess my fear is that now I know that false allegations go such a long way . Our system doesn't seem to require any kind of proof in the beginning ... That's my fear ..... that it could all happen again tomorrow. Scares the bejesus out of me.

As for sole custody... I believe my ex knows I have an excellent case for it..mm which is why she's playing her final hand.....'"stay at home all day to always be available and discourage school"...making less than min. wage while she's at it. SadAndTired was also probably correct in postulating that she will surely be double dipping with Welfare and her under the table stuff.

I think our subsequent step will be to abide by our final order...which states that if we don't agree on something that has to do with parenting that we attend family counseling . This might not be easy as my ex will surely get defensive and deny any wrongdoing on her part.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-18-2016 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 11-18-2016, 04:48 PM
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Low conflict approach would be to assume (or pretend) she is oblivious, not scheming. And talk about how it is amazing how they pick up on parents' attitudes about stuff, and relate a story about a time when you pretended to be enthusiastic about something just to get her excited about it (like ... Broccoli? Skating? Math? Dentists?) And how fabulously it worked. Then say that you do the same with school, and how she is so happy to go in the morning. Optionally followed by point blank question: do you think that would work for you?
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Old 11-18-2016, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Low conflict approach would be to assume (or pretend) she is oblivious, not scheming. And talk about how it is amazing how they pick up on parents' attitudes about stuff, and relate a story about a time when you pretended to be enthusiastic about something just to get her excited about it (like ... Broccoli? Skating? Math? Dentists?) And how fabulously it worked. Then say that you do the same with school, and how she is so happy to go in the morning. Optionally followed by point blank question: do you think that would work for you?
Low conflict approach??

I would say that what you suggest is passive aggressive at best. Ugh.

I think LF should just wait. Ex might not be so eager to be at the bus stop when it is -10 degrees. Many things work themselves out with time.
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Old 11-18-2016, 10:41 PM
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I think the double dipping may come to elan end at tax time when you have to exchange financials. She will have to claim she has zero income (being on welfare) or the babysitting amount which she will have to pay taxes on. She will also need to provide her T forms which will tell you if she's still collecting welfare or not. There's pretty much no way she can avoid letting the cat out of the bag if she's double dipping.
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Old 11-23-2016, 09:33 AM
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Hey LF,

Was wondering what the outcome of this was? Did the cold weather play a part in stopping ex from coming to the bus stop?

For the CS, what was the final outcome of that?
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Old 11-23-2016, 09:47 AM
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Hey LF,

Was wondering what the outcome of this was? Did the cold weather play a part in stopping ex from coming to the bus stop?

For the CS, what was the final outcome of that?
I decided to keep my mouth shut regarding the bus stop thing and I'm kind of glad I did as ex hasn't been there the past 2 times. She just kind of shows up when she feels like it. When she does, D5's transition is less than perfect.

Regarding CS ... we both signed the notice of withdrawal and I sent it registered to FRO. I then sent an e-mail money transfer of the new amount to my ex for this month. Now I'm wondering if FRO is going to give us a hard time or not? I certainly cant pay them the old amount for this month if they're behind on their paper work,. etc. Guess we'll see. I probably should have went through the courts ... and may still have to.
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Old 11-23-2016, 09:57 AM
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Well with Winter hitting the region, that kind of did the work for you!

Your EX is lazy, so having to bundle up kids to go to the bus on your time is not so appealing in cold weather.

How has D5 attendance been? Expect it to drop with winter now here, Ex will not want to bundle her up and take her to the bus for sure.

On CS, yep you might have to go the legal route to fix it up. Better, for you she will not be able to return to FRO if ever she wants to get back at you for something.
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Old 12-02-2016, 10:05 AM
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Wow ... 7 peeps reading this thread right now. lol Not nearly as exciting as my earlier threads a few years back.

Anyway, I finally got the letter from FRO indicating that they're terminating their service and I sent my first significantly lower CS amount to my ex via e-mail money transfer. My experience with FRO was okay in the beginning but I felt like I was dealing with 19 year old telemarkerter's by the end....I needed out.

When we filled out and signed the "Notice of Withdraw" there was a section about notifying Welfare. I noticed my ex hadn't touched it and I didn't say anything. I really hope she doesn't plan on double dipping for long but I think I'll just enjoy life for now.
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