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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2016, 09:03 PM
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I have observed some people's children (in intact marriages) who play the parents against each other. This is usually called "manipulation" LOL.

Is your daughter coming home and telling you this? Why? Does your daughter want to stay with mommy instead of going to school? Perhaps by simply pointing out that she is a big girl now she goes to school and before she knows it (when she is age ##) she will be a babysitter herself someday. I'd handle this kind of like toilet training...

Your ex is a nut-job who is likely still stuck in the past and can't accept the fact that her daughter has a brain... is growing into a person... can't support her inevitable independence. You mentioned, many thousands of posts/threads earlier, that your ex had post-partum depression. This would simply display what happens when someone doesn't continue therapy with a qualified clinician as problems can arise later.

You are a good father and are empowering your daughter to be independent. This mere fact might be pointed out to your ex in a non-aggressive manner. I'm sure many people on here have some ideas (discussions about powerful, independent women). That is a discussion that would scare the crap out of your ex I'm sure. LOL.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2016, 09:11 PM
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One sure-fired way to start the discussion about raising an independent young woman is to start suggesting various summer camps for daughter. Good ones you have to register early for.

I'm sure your ex will freeeeeeak out at this suggestion.

I personally think that summer camps (winter snow-shoe camps are also good) are excellent for children. Kids learn how to eat things they don't like and how to go to bed without bed-time lullaby. IMO camp could be an excellent laxative to over-protective/suffocating mother.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-15-2016, 10:06 AM
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Yea I have to figure this one out. Some mornings my g/f drops D5 at the bus stop also and she has a hard time when ex is there too.

The stop really is our best option as it allows us to drop D5 and get to work on time. It's too bad that amazing routine has to be tainted by my ex's need to be there.

My g/f surprised me the other day and asked if I'd be willing to move to the other part of the city (where D5's school is), which I have no problem with, except I'll have to switch schools for my own employment on the board. But then at least I know the bus will pick up/drop D5 at our place on my time and my ex's on hers.

I honestly still cant believe my ex opted to stay home and make under minimum wage to facilitate all this. She complains that she has no computer, no printer etc but refuses to make what she's capable of. She's educated, bilingual and has experience working in offices, customer services, legal dept's, etc Boggles my mind.
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:21 AM
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Does she absolutely need to be at the bus stop?

If not then maybe just politely ask her. "Hey would you please respect my time with D5 when shes at the bus stop? I dont infringe on your time with her and I would appreciate the same respect."
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Old 11-16-2016, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Does she absolutely need to be at the bus stop?

If not then maybe just politely ask her. "Hey would you please respect my time with D5 when shes at the bus stop? I dont infringe on your time with her and I would appreciate the same respect."
No she doesn't need to be there at all. She's simply taking advantage of the fact that the bus stop is near her home.

She showed up again today. Not that I want to make a big deal out of it but it's my parenting time and I'd kind of like those last hugs before she gets on the bus. I don't want to have to deal with D5 wanting to go play with daycare kids. Again, not the biggest deal...but getting annoying.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2016, 08:55 AM
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Then you need to just tell her. I dont interfere in your parenting time, please show me the same respect.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2016, 10:32 AM
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Yea, I'm just trying to reword it without starting a war.

"If you don't mind I can put D5 on the bus on my time, as D5 knows that you have kids at your house playing with toys and sometimes wants to do that too"..

Something like that
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2016, 10:47 AM
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Dont give her an out by pointing out it may be more fun at her house.

"I appreciate you miss d5 on the days she is with me but I enjoy my time with her on the mornings I drop her at the bus. I would appreciate it if you would respect my time with her and did not interfere."
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2016, 05:36 PM
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Can't you put her on the bus at the next stop?
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2016, 08:32 AM
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It happened again this morning. Now D5 is not wanting to go to school again. This is getting exhausting.

I dont think I can put her on the next stop for a few reasons. I called transpo and they said no. Also D5's biggest excitement is seeing her bestie at that bus stop in the morning.

I suppose I'll have to chat with ex about it. That's never fun.
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