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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-09-2016, 03:47 PM
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Default Bye Bye FRO

Just a quick update on my situation.

I've fought my way to 50/50 everything (if you're new here). My threads are long and ridiculous (but rich with content about family law).

The last thing on my plate was going to court to have my ex's income imputed and call her on "intentional unemployment". I spent months getting my caselaw, proper wording for my affidavit, etc and served my materials. I was 100% confident I had enough to change a final order, which stipulated that we move to offset after ex found a job.

The moment I served my materials my ex went through it and wanted nothing to do with court, and I don't really blame her.

She claims now that she will be making $20,800 and will be getting off of Welfare to run a daycare in her home (still low income housing at $200/month with all utilities, etc included?)...not quite sure how that works but whatever.

So at $20,800 it works out to under $200/month for me now. Until I see her financials next year I suppose.

She sent this e-mail

Quote:
Hi LF32,

I finally got answers from FRO so I will fill out the necessary paperwork and I can give you a copy tomorrow when you drop off the green bag in the am so that you can send it off as it requires both of our signatures.

This way you can start paying me directly in the amount of 194 month as previously agreed upon verbally. If you can just confirm that this is correct and that it is what we agreed upon that would be wonderful.

Also, let me know what is easiest for you to do as I wish to make this as simple as possible to avoid any unnecessary conflict between us. I would like to continue to move forward in a positive manner as we have been doing as of lately.

Thanks.
Hey .. it's a start.
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Old 11-09-2016, 04:23 PM
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This is awesome. You may still want to do an agreed to motion to change and have it filed just in case she stops wanting to work together. I dont trust anyone anymore
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Old 11-09-2016, 04:28 PM
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Settling is easier, cheaper, better, etc... than going to court.
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Old 11-09-2016, 10:34 PM
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Much cheaper than going to court and it's not a whole lot more than minimum wage. In this way at least you've got offset on consent and can adjust everyear her income changes. You could always move to impute minimum wage I suppose


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Old 11-10-2016, 09:33 AM
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Totally cheaper, easier and better.

The issue here is that she's making and working as little as possible to get the maximum child support possible. It's confusing to me since she has degrees to be a paralegal and other higher paying jobs and I was always the one working with children and youth.

Her words: (actual words)
Quote:
I will be starting an at home daycare the first week of November with 2 children so far. Therefore, my expected gross income at this time would be in the amount of 20,800$, which is slightly under what minimum wage would be at a full time job but for the time being a significat improvement to how much I've been living on. I verified and the new support would be in the amount of 194$/month. Would this be an agreeable amount to avoid having to go to court?
Then is started making sense to me when she wrote: (actual words)

Quote:
This would also ensure that D5 has a place to go before and after school free of cost 5 days a week should you need it. That being said, if you are able to drop her off or pick her up at school directly on your days that will be absolutely alright as well.
Her choice of employment (making way less than she could) kind of makes sense with this message.

Another issue we're having now is that D5 now takes the bus (which is by my ex's home). On my time I drop her off on the bus, but my ex is always there picking her up, hugging her, telling her she has fun kids at her home to play with. Basically trying to get her to want to stay home it seems.

I don't want to start anything but it's kind of my parenting time and I'd like to see D5 off to school sometimes without all that just like she does on her time. Sorry, that wasn't CS related but I just wanted to see what you thought.

I think I need a solid CS agreement moving forward. I sent her a quick e-mail yesterday that read like this:
Quote:
I agree to the new amount of CS of 194.00 based on your new salary which you indicated was now $20,800/year. This will be of course on an interim basis while you gain more clients for your new business and/or find other work. Or if anything changes with my employment.

We'll continue to exchange our employment/financial (i.e - taxes) info in May of every year as per our agreement just to be sure our offset child support amounts are accurate.

I was thinking that email money transfer would be the easiest. I could send by the 1st of every month. What are your thoughts?

Thanks
But I need something more solid and with signatures. I personally believe that she should be making what she's capable of, as per the Drygala Test, which states that:
Quote:
1. Section 1 of the Guidelines stipulates that one of the objectives of the Guidelines is to establish a fair standard of support for children so as to ensure that they benefit from the financial means of both parents after separation. In attempting to carry out this purpose, courts must recognize that parents have a joint and ongoing obligation to support their children after the breakdown of their relationship. In order to meet this obligation, parents must as a general rule earn what they are capable of earning. Imputing income is a means by which the court can give effect to the support obligations of each parent after separation. (Drygala v. Pauli, Supra.).
Of course this is all small potatoes compared to what I've been through, but I'd still like to cover all bases.


Can somebody help me out with some wording for this bus stop thing? My ex is now inviting her clients (kids) to meet her at the bus stop now too see D5 on my time in the mornings.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-10-2016 at 09:41 AM.
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Old 11-10-2016, 10:28 AM
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Is there any other stop you can drop her at? Or directly at the school?

Im still wary of the tax thing. She will have a low income next May because she just started this year which means cs will go up again even if shes making more money. I think you should reassess next year on the anniversary date or wait until tax time 2018. Technically the fcsg state actual income if line 150 isnt a true indicator.
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Old 11-10-2016, 10:36 AM
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I'm guessing you don't live on an alternate bus route, nor can you pick the child directly up at school?

Why not find out where the previous bus stop is, and have that be the child's bus stop on your days? That way, you meet the kid a stop earlier, where your ex is not waiting to interfere.

As for the CS, I'd say you've taken that fight as far as you easily can. If your ex can't see that she'd get way more than $194 a month if she found a better job, there's not going to be any getting through to her.

Hopefully, not using her bus stop will make the home daycare plot less attractive, if part of her plan was to try to manipulate you into letting her have the kid for before and after school.

She might also be resisting getting a better job because she doesn't want to have to pay YOU offset? You could maybe try to broach that tactfully some day when she's acting cheerful and chatty. Just a simple "so you like daycare better than paralegal, even if you live worse?" question might lure some information out.
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Old 11-10-2016, 10:38 AM
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The bus stop is where D5's best friend gets on (its how we got her to take the bus).
This stop also allows me to get to work on time also. It really is the best choice. Yes I do need some stronger wording for the financial disclosure stuff......I don't want to get screwed.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-10-2016 at 10:43 AM.
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:20 AM
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Why do you not want to use FRO anymore?

Is it so you can get out of paying your arrears?

Also, her daycare income may not yet be reported to Welfare and you paying her directly may allow her to double dip.
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
Why do you not want to use FRO anymore?

Is it so you can get out of paying your arrears?

Also, her daycare income may not yet be reported to Welfare and you paying her directly may allow her to double dip.
Arrears have been paid S&T. I no longer owe.

Also, in order to keep using FRO we would have had to go to court and get an order to vary the support. My ex was the one who didn't want to attend court and suggested that we drop FRO through mutual consent and I simply begin sending her the new amount.

Regarding the Welfare and double dipping .. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening also.
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