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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-23-2017, 09:29 AM
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Hi all,

I recently found out that my benefits pkg that a spouse ceases to be considered one if they are separated.

I have been separated for almost two years now and during that time I have been covering my stbx's dental and drug coverage.

I need to know if it is okay to drop stbx from my plan - that a judge will not force me to put stbx back on.

Also, in case this ever goes in front of a judge, does taking stbx off look bad on me?
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:38 AM
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Do you pay spousal support?

If not, drop her immediately, and be happy about it. Even send her a text of you getting some solid dental cleanings with a "wish you were here" comment.

If yes, be careful. Some judges might force you to pay for half or all of the plan she needs to buy to make up for being cut off.

Taking the STBX off obviously looks vindictive. If you are still in court, I wouldn't take her off.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:39 AM
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Wouldn't your insurance/benefits provider simply drop the ex-spouse, if they no longer qualify, or do you mean you haven't let them know you are now separated?

Your insurance/benefits provider needs to know your current status, if they have outdated info.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:46 AM
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thanks for the reply!

Yes I pay SS and CS and have done so since house was sold.

I also covered stbx's moving/temp residential/security deposit on new apt.

How is it vindictive if the policy actually prevents me from covering stbx? Am I supposed to cover stbx fraudulently?

The ironic thing is that stbx has been actively delaying me from obtaining a divorce because 1) benefits coverage and 2) doesn't want me to re-marry (which stbx knows I plan to once divorce is finalized).

The ironic thing is that stbx isn't even covered...

However, how does this affect my SS? Right now there is no signed SA. I am paying the amts listed in the last iteration of my SA.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
or do you mean you haven't let them know you are now separated?

Your insurance/benefits provider needs to know your current status, if they have outdated info.
I only happened to look at my benefits pkg yesterday and noticed it defines a spouse as:

"an individual who is married to you by reason of a valid religious
or civil marriage ceremony, while not legally separated from you"

I assumed stbx would be covered until divorce, but it seems my plan does not recognize stbx as a spouse because we are separated.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma32 View Post
How is it vindictive if the policy actually prevents me from covering stbx? Am I supposed to cover stbx fraudulently?
Of course not, but let the company drop her. You try to keep her on, but sadly the rules don't allow it.

Quote:
However, how does this affect my SS? Right now there is no signed SA. I am paying the amts listed in the last iteration of my SA.
I'm saying that I have frequently seen judges order that the working spouse has to pay for benefits coverage to the non-working spouse once the non-working spouse gets dumped. If she loses benefits, that is another thing she has lost that requires compensation. Wait until you have a signed SA, then dump her. Why let her know in advance that this is going to happen? Caveat Emptor, or whatever the version of that is for signing a separation agreement.
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Wait until you have a signed SA, then dump her. Why let her know in advance that this is going to happen? Caveat Emptor, or whatever the version of that is for signing a separation agreement.
Stbx refuses to sign a SA - this is why we are now in court.

We have recently had a CC in which the judge ordered the net equalization from the proceeds of the house sale). Stbx got a substantial amt and apparently is spending like a fiend, while crying destitute and disadvantaged if benefits are not provided.
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma32 View Post
Stbx refuses to sign a SA - this is why we are now in court.

We have recently had a CC in which the judge ordered the net equalization from the proceeds of the house sale). Stbx got a substantial amt and apparently is spending like a fiend, while crying destitute and disadvantaged if benefits are not provided.
You asked "Also, in case this ever goes in front of a judge, does taking stbx off look bad on me?"

She is asking for benefits so the answer to that question is yes.

You also said you have an unsigned separation agreement, so is there a legal separation?

If she wins the benefits you will be required to pay them out of pocket because at that point you'll have your official separation agreement and your company will cut her off.
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma32 View Post
Hi all,

I recently found out that my benefits pkg that a spouse ceases to be considered one if they are separated.

I have been separated for almost two years now and during that time I have been covering my stbx's dental and drug coverage.

I need to know if it is okay to drop stbx from my plan - that a judge will not force me to put stbx back on.

Also, in case this ever goes in front of a judge, does taking stbx off look bad on me?

My health insurance didn't give me the option to keep her on. Once the divorce was final she was automatically removed from the policy...Once I called to remind them of course.

Last edited by cashcow4ex; 11-23-2017 at 12:37 PM.
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Old 11-23-2017, 01:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma32 View Post
Stbx refuses to sign a SA - this is why we are now in court.
Don't cut her off benefits. Bad move.

Quote:
We have recently had a CC in which the judge ordered the net equalization from the proceeds of the house sale). Stbx got a substantial amt and apparently is spending like a fiend, while crying destitute and disadvantaged if benefits are not provided.
What on earth does equalization have to do with SS? You probably owe her compensatory spousal. You get benefits from work, she does not. She gave up the opportunity during your marriage to get a job with benefits. Therefore, the cost of getting those benefits should be shared by both of you.

Why should you get free benefits while she has to pay for them?
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