Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-15-2017, 11:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 42
kate331 is on a distinguished road
Default

Is it not better to be the "Applicant" than the "Respondent"? Jays2017 you may want to get the ball rolling before she does. Hopefully someone with more experience, (I am a newbie at this) can tell you better.
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 07:19 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 12
jays2017 is on a distinguished road
Default just a thought

just a thought..is there anyway the judge could grant me full custody and my wife have all the visitation she wants, i would move to kitchener where my parents are and my parents would defenitly help with any day care , dropping off to schoool etc...while my wife right now gets home approx 6 pm...but than again she would buy a townhouse closer to the area where we are now and keep our son at the same school and still be close to his friends...she is a good mother , no faults..
thoughts
thanks
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 08:04 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,973
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Pull that and your stbx will go for full custody with you paying full table cs leading to an expensive battle for what you really want--money.

Give your head a shake and start thinking whats best for your son not you!
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 10:26 AM
Janus's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,318
Janus will become famous soon enough
Default

Some questions:

1) Did you ever stay home for a period of time to watch the kids?
2) Did you ever relocate for your wife's job?
3) Did you ever turn down a promotion due to child care duties?
4) Did you make any job decisions based upon your wife's comfortable income?

If you can answer yes to at least one question, you should pursue SS.
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:32 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
just a thought..is there anyway the judge could grant me full custody
Unless the other parent is a danger to the children or the communication is so horrible from the other parent the short answer is "NO". "Full Custody" isn't really all that important as your child is 9 and can speak for themselves when it comes to medical issues for the most part. As well, they are well established at school and not much will be able to change when it comes to that as a status quo has been established.

THe best you should hope for is joint custody.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
and my wife have all the visitation she wants,
This is effectively called "majority access" and the answer to this is unless the other parent agrees to the answer is NO again.

The best you can (and should) hope for is equal access (50-50).

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
i would move to kitchener where my parents are and my parents would defenitly help with any day care , dropping off to schoool etc...
Again, unless the other parent agrees to this the answer is not just NO but, NEVER. Habitual residential locations for children are incredibly hard to move by court order. YOu will be in the Peel region and facing judges who are not keen on moving children. You would need a case of significant evidence that it would be in the child's best interests. Sorry to say moving to live with your parents is not enough. Cheaper is not enough.

In fact, if you reside in Mississauga I can almost guarantee that the children will remain in Mississauga. There isn't a sitting judge that I am aware of in Peel that will make that order. You can thank the previous Head Justice Mossip for establishing some pretty sound case law on NOT permitting children to move on a parent's want/desire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
while my wife right now gets home approx 6 pm...but than again she would buy a townhouse closer to the area where we are now and keep our son at the same school and still be close to his friends...she is a good mother , no faults..
thoughts
thanks
The reason you will not get "sole custody", "majority access" nor be able to move the child's "habitual residential location" is highlighted in your own words (bold). She is a good mother and has no faults.

If the other parent is going to talk to a lawyer guess what... The lawyer just told them everything I am telling you. You take this to court and you will be doing as Arabian said... Wasting money.

Find a residence in Mississauga. Don't change the child's school. The whole objective of the best interests is to minimize disruption to the child. So, seeing a parent less, moving to a new city, and having only one parent makes all the decisions is the MOST disruption you could bring.

You are best to try and keep everything as simple as possible, save your legal expenses and come to an agreement for 50-50 access, joint custody and remain in Mississauga.

Furthermore, I don't think you have much of a case for SS. YOu do have a case for offset CS if 50-50 access is agreeded upon or ordered.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:34 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
- also yesterday mentioned about the spousal support and she freaked out saying i will get nothing and she will go for full custody if i go for spousal support
Ha! Typical female response. So she wants full custody not because it is in the best interests of the child, but instead because she don't want you to be entitled to any child support or spousal support because she has a higher income. And further, because she wants MONEY from YOU.

That first issue. Second issue, the system is biased. If not obvious by all the moms running into this thread like cockroaches taking the mom's side, the complete opposite would be true if your incomes were reversed, and she had come here asking about spousal and child support.


Yes you are entitled to spousal support because she makes more money than you. You will be earning less after the divorce and she has to compensate you for that. The house will have to be divded equally.

Don't confuse joint custody with shared custody. Joint custody is decision making. Shared custody is time sharing. You will need to have child for 40% or more of the time in your care. If you do, then she will have to pay you child support based on the difference, i.e., $50,000/year. Which translaes to a little over $400/month child support.

My advice: DO NOT LEAVE THE MAT. HOME. DO NOT ALLOW HER TO CREATE AND ARTIFICIAL STATUS QUO - STAY IN YOUR CHILDS LIFE EQUALLY. If she distrubs the status quo, then bring a motion to keep the status quo.

My other advice: Start meeting with GOOD lawyers immediately. She sounds like yet another control freak. Don't let her toss you into the PAY PAY PAY and DO DO DO cage. Soon enough she will be arranging your marriage with your new wife for you - telling you where and when to have it. he. he. he. That thread was closed but this was just another opportunity for me to take another dab at it

Last edited by trinton; 10-16-2017 at 11:55 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:42 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Pull that and your stbx will go for full custody with you paying full table cs leading to an expensive battle for what you really want--money.

Give your head a shake and start thinking whats best for your son not you!
Except for the mom, to my surprise, is the one that is doing it for money. The father has a right to ask for spousal support, just as would the mom if she had the lower income.

Quote:
- also yesterday mentioned about the spousal support and she freaked out saying i will get nothing and she will go for full custody if i go for spousal support

Last edited by trinton; 10-16-2017 at 11:44 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:46 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 198
piggybanktoex is on a distinguished road
Default

Agreed,

My ex didn't do anything to allow me to succeed, but she got SS because she is a woman.

Did not go back to work

Did not give up school for me

Did not relocate from job

Anyone can clean house, make food, and do laundry. All minimum wage work.

Women don't like the law when it works against them.

Personally, I think you should fend for yourself, but not until the other gender has to as well. What's good for the gander, is good for the goose.

AND YES, ARABIAN IS THE EXCEPTION.....SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SUE IN COURT FOR WHAT HER BUSINESS PARTNER (HUSBAND) DID TO HER IF SHE WAS ACTUALLY A REAL BUSINESS PARTNER IN A COMPANY.

Last edited by piggybanktoex; 10-16-2017 at 11:51 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:53 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
just a thought..is there anyway the judge could grant me full custody and my wife have all the visitation she wants, i would move to kitchener where my parents are and my parents would defenitly help with any day care , dropping off to schoool etc...while my wife right now gets home approx 6 pm...but than again she would buy a townhouse closer to the area where we are now and keep our son at the same school and still be close to his friends...she is a good mother , no faults..
thoughts
thanks
Yes you can get sole custody while child lives with mom. Chance of that being ordered? Rare, extremely rare. I would stay away from Kitchener. The judges there are beyond biased. You will hear horror stories from fathers on this site who have appeared before the mother-biased Kitchener family court judges.

Stay where the children reside. If she moves with the children, then you immediately motion the return of the children to your care and there you have sole custody status quo.

She is a good mother, no faults. Presumably, you are also a good dad with no faults. So why should she have sole custody? Why does she want sole custody other than because she is trying to punish you for asking for something you are entitled to, i.e., spousal support?

If you are both good parents, and you communicate with her, then it should be joint custody and equal parenting times. IF she witholds her cooperation and communication, sort of like she is now with the whole, you want spousal support then I want sole custody and full child support kindergarden utter non sense, then yes, I would go for sole custody.

You may want to re evaluate your position. How good of a mother is she if she wants to cut you out of the decisions and leave you with very little time with your children? How good of a mother is she if she is doing that just to financially benefit from the divorce? Are the children her primary concern or is this all about her chequing and savings account ?
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 10-16-2017, 11:57 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
AND YES, ARABIAN IS THE EXCEPTION.....SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SUE IN COURT FOR WHAT HER BUSINESS PARTNER (HUSBAND) DID TO HER IF SHE WAS ACTUALLY A REAL BUSINESS PARTNER IN A COMPANY.
Her ex obviously had the better lawyer.

The system may be biased, but with a way better lawyer then your ex who knows the judge well. Given your ex is a little messed up and done some "WTF" things, then you could expect to have really good results.

At the end of the day, Arabian is still getting spousal support and defending every motion to stop it. Meanwhile telling men not to persue spousal support. Not biased or jilted at all.

Last edited by trinton; 10-16-2017 at 11:59 AM.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Spousal Support - Why It Matters Divorcemanagement Political Issues 83 11-28-2013 10:38 AM
Spousal Support...good or bad.. jlalex General Chat 32 07-22-2010 06:33 PM
Will I be Paying Spousal Support? North of You Financial Issues 5 10-21-2009 04:05 AM
Spousal Support Question Fair4All Divorce & Family Law 8 05-04-2009 10:44 AM
Spousal Support ruling OB1 Divorce & Family Law 2 07-18-2008 06:48 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:21 PM.