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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-15-2017, 01:17 PM
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Default being a male, will possibly get spousal support

- give you a bit of details of the situation
married 12 years and have a 9 year son ...i make the make 60000 a year
she makes 110000...we have lived in our house 10 years and the house is paid off...house worth approx 950000...wife will be seeing a lawyer this week to get the seperation started and in 1 year divorce..same time i will see a lawyer soon...live in mississauga and talked about joint custody where we both find a place of our own, most likely a townhouse...
my question is will i get spousal support in my situation...and also child support..
- also yesterday mentioned about the spousal support and she freaked out saying i will get nothing and she will go for full custody if i go for spousal support

thanks
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Old 10-15-2017, 01:31 PM
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HALT !

You have equity (home) and both have good jobs. If the two of you start litigating the only people who come out ahead will be lawyers. Both you and your wife will be told what you want to hear from your lawyers.....

Unless you want to part with some major money (far exceeding amounts either of you would possibly pay for SS and CS) think of ways for the two of you can come to and agreement. You want to dial-down the nasty, threatening dialogue between the two of you (lawyers will want to do the opposite with aggressive letters).

Do your own independent research (and encourage your ex to do same) and then suggest the two of you meet up to have a civil discussion. Include in that discussion future plans for your son's education.
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Old 10-15-2017, 01:41 PM
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Thanks for the reply..
back to my initial question..am i entitled to spousal support
thanks
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Old 10-15-2017, 02:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
Thanks for the reply..
back to my initial question..am i entitled to spousal support
thanks


Why do you think you would be entitled? What did you sacrifice during the marriage to be entitled? Did you take years off to raise the child? Did you relocate for her job? Research SS and see if you fit the criteria but income disparity alone isn't enough to award SS.


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Old 10-15-2017, 02:14 PM
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good points, just thought after a marriage , the courts would see to still have the same standard of living...as in my situation...will most liking have to move out of mississauga as housing is expensive..so was thinking move west if not get spousal support, if can get ,,can be in the same city as my child
thanks
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Old 10-15-2017, 03:35 PM
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check out the "with child" calclulator

Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines

Much on determining eligibility of SS comes down to the discretion of the judge... unlike CS, SS is determined on an individual basis.

The longer you were married the more your two incomes merged together to establish standard of living. Of course, it goes without saying, when two people separate BOTH people lose standard of living unless you are wealthy. SS comes into play when one person is clearly disadvantaged by the end of the marriage.

So, for a couple with no children of the marriage, you split the assets/debts. The top end of SS would be 50% of difference of your gross income (1/2 of 50k difference would be 25k/year in SS).

You have to calculate, using the SSAG guidelines, what the calculation for SS is for with children. I believe the amount would be considerably less.

Your wife may THINK she can request and obtain sole custody and make you pay CS. It certainly isn't that simple (there are many threads on this forum where you can find out why).

So you go to your lawyer and cut him a retainer for a minimum of 5k. Your monthly bill of letter writing and you and him attending "case conferences" and "4-way meetings" will likely be well over 5k (monthly). Your wife will be looking at the same amount of money. So do the math. Is the amount you would hope to gain for time-limited SS (don't assume it will be indefinite unless you meet criteria) worth it in the end? You can look at the time limitations by reading up on "rule of 65." Basically you combine your age at time of separation with years married. If the number exceeds 65 then you may be entitled to indefinite SS. Be aware, however, that "indefinite" SS can amount to 100.00/month - nothing is guaranteed.

Lots for you to research unless you merely want to pay your lawyer to meet with you and explain everything to you (at 400.00/hr + I'd recommend you get up-to-speed).

Last edited by arabian; 10-15-2017 at 03:39 PM.
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Old 10-15-2017, 03:58 PM
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SS is not a given because you make less than your ex. Its to compensate a spouse who gave up their earning ability to support the other spouse. My partner was entitled to SS not because his ex made double his income but because he sacrificed his earning ability by staying home with the kids and not being more mobile for his career. If you both worked and it just happens that you are at your regular salary for your job and she is at the regular salary for her job then the likelihood of getting SS is low.

Keeping standards of living the same only relates to kids. If you have 50/50 offset then she would pay you the difference in child support.

Everyone who says you need to do some research and don't blow you equalization on a lawyer is right on the money. Don't waste $20,000 you could put onto a townhouse to fight for something you aren't entitled to and for gods sake don't say crap to your ex that will get her hackles up and make the negotiation worse!
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Old 10-15-2017, 06:28 PM
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Default being a male, will possibly get spousal support

Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
so was thinking move west if not get spousal support, if can get ,,can be in the same city as my child
thanks


Should also mention this is a crappy way to look at it. If you cant get spousal you will leave your child? Is your child not worth it? You would walk away with probably $400,000 from the equity if you are smart. Then probably receive ~$400 a month in cs. You could live on that for the sake of your child.
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Old 10-15-2017, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
- give you a bit of details of the situation
married 12 years and have a 9 year son ...i make the make 60000 a year
she makes 110000...we have lived in our house 10 years and the house is paid off...house worth approx 950000...wife will be seeing a lawyer this week to get the seperation started and in 1 year divorce..same time i will see a lawyer soon...live in mississauga and talked about joint custody where we both find a place of our own, most likely a townhouse...
my question is will i get spousal support in my situation...and also child support..
- also yesterday mentioned about the spousal support and she freaked out saying i will get nothing and she will go for full custody if i go for spousal support

thanks
Spousal support, unlike child, is not mandatory. You not sick, not stay at home dad, you have a job now, you worked before. You have your share of equity. You will get no spousal support.
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Old 10-15-2017, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
good points, just thought after a marriage , the courts would see to still have the same standard of living...as in my situation...will most liking have to move out of mississauga as housing is expensive..so was thinking move west if not get spousal support, if can get ,,can be in the same city as my child
thanks
I would suggest you re-evaluate your priorities, and focus on doing your best to remain in the area in which the child CURRENTLY resides, so that you can continue to be an equal parent. Jays - moving away from your son is not an option, for you or for him.

But yes, I believe you are correct in your initial assessment.

The two equal household/child custody will be adjusted financially with cs, and whether you are male/female doesn't really matter in 2017 (although we'll hear certain individuals continue to gripe).

And given the income disparities with your 12-year long-term marriage, a child to raise in two homes. when I combine her income, you should be entitled to/receive SS for a time period, to be negotiated.
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