Am I being unreasonable?

[May_May]

Here is a suggestion...
Laugh about the screw up with your ex, and joke about how you and him need to work on communication. Just say "Let's split the cost for these missed appointments" and then suggest you 'break' up the appointments.

Perhaps something like this;

Parent A is responsible for 3 dentist appts, and 3 eye doctor
appointments, and the 3 specialist appointments for the year (9 appts)
and Parent A books when it is convenient for them.

Parent B is responsible for covering the the regular doctor appointments
(9-12/year) and will book when it is convenient for them.

Both parents out of courtesy will let the other know when they are (perhaps use a shared calendar through google or yahoo), and keep email trails of appointments.

[billiechic]

it would be best if he could step up and start taking them to appointments as well, but that isnt always going to work. I think he may need to see just how many appointments the kids have.. so make a list (Excel files are excellent for this) showing each kid, and each appointment and list every appointment date for the past year. Show him how often you are having to take time off.
Unfortunately a lot of professionals do not provide after hours service. One of the sticking points that I use to choose which professional to use is to make sure they have evenings or saturdays, just so I dont have to take time off for a regular appointment. If more of them were open the hours that the rest of us could actually GO to appointments, this overbooking etc wouldn't happen as often.

[wretchedotis]

yes I can see how this would be an irritating thing if the other side is abusing it. And in all honesty, alot of men will abuse this side of things.

Get a google calender that can be shared. Book appt's on it. If he cares he'll do it. If he's an ass, he won't. In the latter case, I don't see a remedy for you except for the right to complain about it.

[Berner_Faith]

Originally Posted by wretchedotis

yes I can see how this would be an irritating thing if the other side is abusing it. And in all honesty, alot of men will abuse this side of things.

Get a google calender that can be shared. Book appt's on it. If he cares he'll do it. If he's an ass, he won't. In the latter case, I don't see a remedy for you except for the right to complain about it.

I don't believe its just men... and saying that a lot of men do it may be a slap in the face to some of the men here, who in fact have ex wives that do not partake in such events...

Needless to say...it happens no matter what sex you/they are... its all about the maturity level of the other parent...not the gender

[billiechic]

very true. My bf handles all of his daughters appointments.

[blinkandimgone]

Timely article:

Top dentists gross $1M a year on reserves

Purely FYI.

[JB514]

The way I see it is that he did not refuse to take them to the dentist. He said it was that time that didn't work for him. He said he will reschedule, but didn't. So don't hesitate to break up appointments evenly or so with him. He probably doesn't mind doing it. BUT, do not rely on him to cancel, schedule or reschedule any appointments. My advice:
Before booking an appointment, ask him to provide days when he would be available. When you booking it you will have a more or less clear schedule of days available between you and him and then see when the dentist/specialist/etc. has an opening.
As for paying the fee for canceling the appointments without proper notice..... I am 99.9999999% sure that if you explain your situation and promise that you will do your best to prevent this from happening, they will waive the fee. speak to the receptionist first, and if she/he does not waive it, speak with the dentist directly. Or you could speak to the dentist right away and forgo the receptionist, because they might be bound by the rules that the Dentist has set. The fee is just to discourage the abuse of appointments, but if they see that you care and are responsible, they will do it. Good luck