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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-23-2017, 03:17 PM
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Default What I wished I had in my Court Order

After reading Beachanna's Christmas thread about a vague holiday schedule I thought I would ask if you could go back and change your order to make it easier on parenting what would you have done differently? That would hopefully help us newbies here.
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:26 PM
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Theres really nothing regarding parenting you can change unless it involves a crystal ball. Im sure that in reasonable parent cases the two parties work it out. In unreasonable parents cases they argue. That includes cases where one party is reasonable and one is not.

My partner thought he had a great order but soon discovered that his ex could manipulate everything. He had to get his lawyer to write three letters in the first six months reminding her of the parenting schedule she had agreed to. Once the kids were old enough, she manipulated it further.

The only thing I wish his order had been clearer on was financial. We both thought it was pretty clear but his ex interprets it how she wants (unreasonable party). He should have had in there "the children are currently registered in x programs currently which will not be carried forward without both parties consent" and "the cost divided proportionately will be the amount after the tax deduction" (ex doesnt understand net cost) and "kids will contribute one third the expense of post secondary education" and "no expense previously agreed to will be calculated without an authorized statement of receipt from the provider" and transcripts and medical information disclosure.

Like I said, reasonable people work together. Unreasonable people make it difficult. You can hate your ex with all your being but you have to remember that the kids call that person mom/dad so you need to work together.


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Old 11-24-2017, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
After reading Beachanna's Christmas thread about a vague holiday schedule I thought I would ask if you could go back and change your order to make it easier on parenting what would you have done differently? That would hopefully help us newbies here.
No matter how specific you are, it isn't specific enough. There is no such thing as too much detail. Things that I would have liked more detail on:

1) Sick day procedures (who watches, time that kid switches)
2) School Trip payment procedures
3) PA day procedures
4) Responsibility for dental care, vaccines, other non emergency medical issues


Some things I would like removed from the agreement

1) First Refusal: We both ignore the clause completely, but I would rather it wasn't there at all.
2) Vacation: I would prefer to have to give fewer details. In retrospect a cellphone number and notice is sufficient.

Not in my agreement, and I'm glad it is not there

1) Phone call rights
2) Generic "vacation time" clauses that can override the normal schedule
3) Daycare veto clauses
4) Veto clauses in general ("mutual agreement" nonsense)

In my agreement, really glad it is there

1) Specific times for transfers
2) Specific rules for location and transportation to transfers
3) Extremely clear division of winter break, contemplating all possible start and end times of the winter break
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Old 11-24-2017, 04:08 PM
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Clear and concise language. Donít try to be clever or wordy or sound official. Less is more.

If you donít it adds loopholes and confusion




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Old 11-24-2017, 08:41 PM
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What I wish I had in my court order:

"No applications may be made until arrears are paid in full."

Hope to put this one in my next semi-annual response to ex's incessant attempts.

Simple. One would think that this would be easy.....
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