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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 02-20-2014, 07:44 PM
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Default visitation schedule alberta

Hello.
I have a question about chamge of visitation schedule in alberta.
We are struggling financially and can not afford a Lawyer but I
Was hoping someone could give advice here. Thank you in advance.
My husband has visitation schedule with the kids every other weekend, long weekends, a week over christmas, spring break and two weeks in the summer. He had to change monday morning drop offs to sunday evevenings due to work schedule conflict. His ex would not agree to anything he asks even if it is reasonable and refuses to comminicate in any other way but through lawyers.
So he had to go to court to change the monday drop off schedule and the judge decided that is fine but now he added every other Wednesday to to schedule. My husband didn't get a chance to say a word and it was decided. He pays thousands of dollars in child support and pays for everything as his ex doesn't work. He does all the driving etc. His divorce left him on the verge of financial bankruptcy and lawsuits from banks due to defaulfing on his debts. He asked his ex if she would agree to cancel the every second Wednesday 5:30-8 pm visitations as they are adding extra cost which he can not afford at this time and suggested they have reasonable parenting arrangement so he can have occasional time with the kids. He is keeping the rest of his visitation schedule as it is. She refuses and says his financial hardship is not her business and he need to stick to the order as she wants those 2 hours of free time.
What should he do in this case? He is asking for some consideration for a period of time to no avail. It is so hard to cope at this point maintaining a home for 4 children and no help and understanding on her part. Please any advice is much appreciated.
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:04 PM
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How far does he drive to get the kids?
Who moved to cause this driving?
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:25 PM
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We live in different parts of town and on those weekdays he has to pick them up at 5:30-5:45 pm depending on work and traffic and drop them off at 8 pm. He spends about 60-75 min driving between their house and ours which leaves about 90min time in our house, plus cost of food. We are in financial distress and sometimes hardly able to buy diapers and baby food for our baby. He asked about temporary change until we sort oir banking issues. How should this case be approached?
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:53 PM
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Well not that I think this is the answer... however has a NCP he can technically just not show up. She is the custodial parent, therefore she is basically responsible for the children. If he doesn't show up, what is she going to do?

Again, I do not agree with this approach because if he gives up his Wednesday access, he will have a battle getting it back.

Is there not a library he can go to by the children for this visit? If he was dropping the children off on Monday, I assume he was dropping them off at school... why not offer to keep them overnight Wednesdays and drop them off at school on Thursday?

I don't mean this to be rude, but are you working as well? While it is not your responsibility to support his children, extra income will help with your home bills.

If things are very tight with debt/banking issues, have you considered a consumer proposal? I know this isn't what you were asking, but not everyone knows about these options.
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Old 02-20-2014, 09:09 PM
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Guess the honeymoon is over!

I think the library visit is a great idea.

Not sure which "town" you live in but 90 minutes to get from one end to the other? In Alberta? Are you talking about driving a vehicle or taking a bus?

Which party moved? You and your husband or the mother?
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Old 02-21-2014, 12:42 AM
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I just don't know what to do at this point. The kids don't have a great rlationship with their dad and very often they leave their mom's house crying. Whn at our house they want to spend all their time in the basement watching tv. All attempts to get them out od the house even for a walk is nothing but resistance. Their mom has been verbally and physically abusive with their dad on several occasions in their presence so all this doesn't make it easy.
I can't go back to work as I have a wee little baby and even if I do we can't afford child care.
It is my husband who wants to eliminate the wednesdays for now and his ex is completely unwilling to talk to him except if he offers to take the kids. She doesn't really want the kids 100% but chils support is her only source of income so she can't give it up but trying to get as much time as she can without the kids. She doesn't consider that my husbands job is not free time. He has to work so he can support them.
It's hard situation.
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:04 AM
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Thank you for the advice Berner_faith. Yes, we were considering consumer proposal but unfortunately that would be hundreds of dollars monthly and don't have this cash right now.
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:04 AM
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How many kids are we talking about here? You mentioned (4) in an earlier post. You have a baby so the other three are your husband's children? I thought it was just 1 child and your baby.
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:20 AM
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Sorry, arabian. I should've clarified that. I have one from a previous marriage, my husband has two and we have a baby together.
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:52 AM
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Do you receive CS from the father of your child from previous marriage? Do you have a job or any income or is your current husband supporting everyone?
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