unsure of how to proceed.

[Motorizer]

Not to be a jerk, but why does his access depend on having a job?
Employed or not, access should be granted, albeit slowly.

[browneyedgirl]

His access isnt dependant on him having a job, but the simple fact is he has never contributed to my daughter in any way, and if he had a job(and kept it) it would show me that hes finally growing up. he has only ever been on assistance, and the only time he ever filed a tax return was when we were together(his first time ever filing actually). im very on guard about this whole thing, he wants me to "be on the level with him" yet hes not doing the same and said ive infringed on his rights ? lol last i checked he moved 3,000 miles away for the last 2.5yrs and the judge took away what rights he had, not me. im trying to be fair with him and it seems the nicer i am the more he refuses to listen to me and how i feel things need to proceed with our daughter.

[Berner_Faith]

I agree that his access should not be dependent on him having a job or paying support.. granted you say a Judge took away his rights, but he is wanting to see his daughter... you said in your first post you are fine with working on a friendship, which will be key down the road for your daughter... why not invite him over to visit once or twice a week to get your daughter use to him... I wouldn't allow him access alone with her, as she has no idea who he is, but allow them to build a relationship.

Do this for a couple weeks and then have the talk with him that you need to get some rules in order, pertaining to access and support. Suggest mediation to work these issues out.

[blinkandimgone]

Originally Posted by browneyedgirl

His access isnt dependant on him having a job, but the simple fact is he has never contributed to my daughter in any way, and if he had a job(and kept it) it would show me that hes finally growing up. he has only ever been on assistance, and the only time he ever filed a tax return was when we were together(his first time ever filing actually). im very on guard about this whole thing, he wants me to "be on the level with him" yet hes not doing the same and said ive infringed on his rights ? lol last i checked he moved 3,000 miles away for the last 2.5yrs and the judge took away what rights he had, not me. im trying to be fair with him and it seems the nicer i am the more he refuses to listen to me and how i feel things need to proceed with our daughter.

Not to be contrary - I don't necessarily disagree with your issues, merely your perspective but to whom did YOU have to prove that you had a job, grew up and were responsible in order for YOU to be allowed to have a child?

[Motorizer]

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

Not to be contrary - I don't necessarily disagree with your issues, merely your perspective but to whom did YOU have to prove that you had a job, grew up and were responsible in order for YOU to be allowed to have a child?

Kinda what I was getting at.
A bad employment history doesn't preclude one from exercising parental responsibility... Should one choose to.
Doesn't seem like said parent wants to, but ya never know.