Travel with Kids out of Country

[divmom]

Hi there,
I am divorced 4 years with two kids 12 and 10. It has been a difficult 4 years to say the least. My ex and I do not get along at all. Without getting into the boring details I have a question.

I have spent 25000.00 in the divorce process. We have joint custody but I have primary residence. The kids time is split 20/80 in my favor with equal summer holidays.

I would love to take the kids away down south for a vacation. During my marriage we travelled to Europe and Florida with the kids often. I am living with someone and my ex hates this person and will make everything we try to do difficult. I have asked him to allow me to travel with the kids. I would provide the timeline and locations of where we will be, phone numbers etc and he has refused. I know I need his permission to do so but was wondering if there was another way to go about doing this without it costing me a huge amout of time or money in the courts again.

Anyone have any suggestions?

[HammerDad]

Prepare a nice email to him attaching a travel consent letter/form for him to sign. Ensure it provides names, dates, flight numbers, locations and contact details. There is a form that someone posted the link to a few days ago, but I am lazy to find it...lol

State that you request that he arrange for the form/letter to be signed and notarized as it is your intention to travel to X location for period A to B. You feel it is in the kids best interests to have such experiences etc.....

If your plans interfere with any of his parenting time, give him various dates to makeup such time and allow him to choose.

Request he provide it within X weeks.

If he doesn't, you can ask if he is willing to mediate the subject and failing that you will have to file a motion in court to get an order to take the kids without his permission.

But send a nice request, keep it kid focused. Offer makeup time (preferably prior to your trip). From there, if he unreasonably withholds his consent, he may get hit with costs if you have to take him to court (but no guarantee).

If you haven't booked anything yet, it will be harder because you have no dates set yet.

[divmom]

Thanks. I will try the flowery approach but Im not holding out alot of hope. If it does go the route of me having to file a motion with the courts any idea on how long that takes? Just asking because lets say I book something for the end of March, I give him until the first week of February to reply, he doesnt, I file the motion, and given my history with getting in with the courts, it takes a very long time. If I booked something I risk not going.

[divmom]

Also I dont have to go through this to travel within Canada do I? The kids and I have been planning a trip out west for this summer for a week. As long as I tell him when and where etc he cant really interfer can he?

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by HammerDad

Prepare a nice email to him attaching a travel consent letter/form for him to sign. Ensure it provides names, dates, flight numbers, locations and contact details. There is a form that someone posted the link to a few days ago, but I am lazy to find it...lol

State that you request that he arrange for the form/letter to be signed and notarized as it is your intention to travel to X location for period A to B. You feel it is in the kids best interests to have such experiences etc.....

If your plans interfere with any of his parenting time, give him various dates to makeup such time and allow him to choose.

Request he provide it within X weeks.

If he doesn't, you can ask if he is willing to mediate the subject and failing that you will have to file a motion in court to get an order to take the kids without his permission.

But send a nice request, keep it kid focused. Offer makeup time (preferably prior to your trip). From there, if he unreasonably withholds his consent, he may get hit with costs if you have to take him to court (but no guarantee).

If you haven't booked anything yet, it will be harder because you have no dates set yet.

Agree 100%. If you do everything HammerDad says in a time frame well in advance you shouldn't have any issues. If he tries to create them, then you have a lot of good evidence to fall back on with regards to costs.

25K for a 4 year divorce is cheap generally. You got out ok. Generally a 4 year divorce process costs about 250,000.

Good Luck!
Taken

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by divmom

Also I dont have to go through this to travel within Canada do I? The kids and I have been planning a trip out west for this summer for a week. As long as I tell him when and where etc he cant really interfer can he?

It all depends on what the Order states. (Or agreement that is filed with the court.) If it doesn't say anything you don't have to but, you should in good faith tell the other parent. Even if it doesn't fall on his custodial time. It is the right thing to do.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[divmom]

Thanks. our order states that if we cant agree on a decision regarding the kids that ultimately I am the one who makes the decision. If he doesnt agree then he has to file a motion with the courts

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by divmom

Thanks. I will try the flowery approach but Im not holding out alot of hope. If it does go the route of me having to file a motion with the courts any idea on how long that takes? Just asking because lets say I book something for the end of March, I give him until the first week of February to reply, he doesnt, I file the motion, and given my history with getting in with the courts, it takes a very long time. If I booked something I risk not going.

Booking for the end of March and giving him until the first week of February to respond IMO does not sound like a reasonable time frame. Especially consider the first week of February is, well...next week. You want to give a person whom you've had difficulty with before 1 week to respond or you will take him to court?....no....

To be honest, if you are looking to book in March, you should be asking to October-November so that you will be able to take the appropriate steps. Give him minimum 2 weeks to respond. From there offer mediation. If that fails you end up in court.

But if you give 1 week and then jump straight to court, it won't look good on you. Further, you have no details to provide him with other then "I am planning a trip to somewhere the last week of April". My response to that would be, "give me some more details and I will consider it". And my response would be completely reasonable.

You have to appear to be willing to work with your ex and have them appear unreasonable if you want to succeed in court (and possibly get costs).

You also haven't mentioned whether or not this vacation will interferre with his parenting time and what, if any, plans he may have during that period. For all we (or you) know, he may have his own plans during that time.

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by divmom

Thanks. our order states that if we cant agree on a decision regarding the kids that ultimately I am the one who makes the decision. If he doesnt agree then he has to file a motion with the courts

That would generally be for decisions relating to parenting. Meaning school, health, religion etc. I doubt it would expand to international travel and things that may involve his parenting time.

[divmom]

I know that was a short time frame but I was using it as more of a guage. I guess also from my years of dealing with this person and having EVERY little thing turn into a a major deal my guard is up. It just seems so unfair to have to go through this in order to spend a nice vacation with my kids. I have a job, mortgage and family here Im not about to take off to the States and never come back especially since I have 80% custody. What would be the point? It just takes the enjoyment out of the vacation thats all.

Thanks