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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-04-2012, 10:47 PM
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Default travel details - what is reasonable?

Question for the forum -

When you go on vacation with your children, what details do you share with your ex? What level of detail do you think is appropriate? Do you think the level of detail would depend on where you are going?

Generally, what would a judge expect you to share?

Thanks!
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Old 09-04-2012, 10:55 PM
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I would want to know: airline & flight details, hotel location and phone number.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSAngel View Post
Question for the forum -

When you go on vacation with your children, what details do you share with your ex? What level of detail do you think is appropriate? Do you think the level of detail would depend on where you are going?

Generally, what would a judge expect you to share?

Thanks!
I would share the same information as if I was married and travelling with out my spouse. Why the secrecy?
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:30 PM
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Nudist colony visitation perhaps? I understand they do have places for au natural for families.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I would want to know: airline & flight details, hotel location and phone number.
Yup. No need for anything else. Possibly if there is need for any extra vaccinations (Yellow Fever, Hep A/B?) or Anti-malarials.

Now, if your ex finds out you have been skydiving in Angola ... you might have a bit of explaining to do!

It depends on the level of communication you generally have though.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSAngel View Post
Question for the forum -

When you go on vacation with your children, what details do you share with your ex? What level of detail do you think is appropriate? Do you think the level of detail would depend on where you are going?

Generally, what would a judge expect you to share?

Thanks!
My recommendation would be to provide all the details about the trip and provide the other party nothing to complain about. The trip includes the children and their location information (hotel, where they are staying, contact information for those locations) should be shared. Flight information, time of travel, border crossings, if traveling by car what vehicle and information about the vehicle (license plate) etc.

Considering your past postings CSAngel, I would recommend that you be fully transparent with the other parent so they cannot complain about not knowing about anything. What you have described in past postings is a potentially highly conflicted individual and some times the best thing to do with these people is to give them so much information that they have nothing to complain about.

Furthermore, give them no excuse to throw a wrench "last minute" into your travel plans by calling the border and security agency etc...

Demonstrate that you are the "transparent parent" and that you have nothing to hide about where you go with the children and where they are going with you. It will also save you on multiple letters from your lawyer having to respond to highly conflicted requests for additional information.

I would go so far as stating that you will be carrying the other parent's contact information on you in case of an emergency with details to contact the other parent in the event of an emergency.

Unless, there is a restraining order and a possibility that the other parent may do something absolutely stupid with the information of course...

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:05 AM
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When my ex and I each took our vacations outside of Canada we each provided:

departure/return dates
flight carrier and numbers
destination and contact numbers

If I was leaving the province, I would give the same (save for flight, if driving obviously).
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:16 AM
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I haven't had the luxury of taking a trip in the last few years, with my son. One thing that does always bother me about that (informing other parent) is that we do not speak and have no hope of ever communicating verbally or getting along. I don't like that he would know that I'm "not home" and that the house is empty. I don't even like it when he knows that our son is on a sleepover, and that I might be home alone.

Based on his numerous access (eow) cancellations, most with little notice - there can be 4 to 6 wks (sometimes 8) between his access. While I do have sole custody, I am supposed to inform him of travel plans and get his consent etc. Obviously, I would do that if I were going away. Based on a few recent email exchanges that demonstrate how hostile and unreasonable he is, I was hoping to get that stipulation removed from our custody/access agreement. As long as it doesn't interfere with the set out EOW weekends, plus the fact that he barely bothers w/S13 (almost 14), I don't see why it should be a problem. But I guess it could be :/ For example: if I want to take my son (driving) to say, Buffalo for the day - I have to get permission from the biggest jackass on the planet, get him to sign a letter and PAY to have it notarized. Ugggh. His responses to simple things (and I rarely ask him anything) are pretty much "go f*ck yourself." Based on a few of those (printed out email) responses, I'd like to have that whole consent thing removed.

Back to the OP: CBSA and the passport office websites have sample letters for consent to travel. Usually, these must be notarized and include all information. Departure date, flight info, (airline, flight number and times), destination (full address) and contact info (tel/email/fax).
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
I haven't had the luxury of taking a trip in the last few years, with my son. One thing that does always bother me about that (informing other parent) is that we do not speak and have no hope of ever communicating verbally or getting along. I don't like that he would know that I'm "not home" and that the house is empty. I don't even like it when he knows that our son is on a sleepover, and that I might be home alone.

Based on his numerous access (eow) cancellations, most with little notice - there can be 4 to 6 wks (sometimes 8) between his access. While I do have sole custody, I am supposed to inform him of travel plans and get his consent etc. Obviously, I would do that if I were going away. Based on a few recent email exchanges that demonstrate how hostile and unreasonable he is, I was hoping to get that stipulation removed from our custody/access agreement. As long as it doesn't interfere with the set out EOW weekends, plus the fact that he barely bothers w/S13 (almost 14), I don't see why it should be a problem. But I guess it could be :/ For example: if I want to take my son (driving) to say, Buffalo for the day - I have to get permission from the biggest jackass on the planet, get him to sign a letter and PAY to have it notarized. Ugggh. His responses to simple things (and I rarely ask him anything) are pretty much "go f*ck yourself." Based on a few of those (printed out email) responses, I'd like to have that whole consent thing removed.

Back to the OP: CBSA and the passport office websites have sample letters for consent to travel. Usually, these must be notarized and include all information. Departure date, flight info, (airline, flight number and times), destination (full address) and contact info (tel/email/fax).
Just an FYI - For travel to the US the letter does not need to be notarized. I just went through this with my ex. His lawyer notarized the letter and sent me the bill. My lawyer sent it back to him and basically told him to stick it because it doesn't need to be notarized. So they switched it for a non-notarized copy instead.

Here is the dilemma I've just had - we went on vacation to the east coast to visit my family/friends and do some camping. While our departure date was firm, the rest of the trip was not set in stone. We wanted to have the freedom to be flexible about where we stopped and for how long. Therefor, the information I sent my ex was - we plan to be here for x days, here for x days but it's not set in stone. I also did not provide phone numbers of the camp ground. Of course I have a cell phone and so does my partner so we're not exactly out of reach. Since my ex is of course making a big deal about this I wondered if I was out of line. He's also upset because our daughter told him we were going to see Grampy who he thought still lived in Alberta and I never mentioned Alberta because it wasn't part of our plans.

It did not occur to me to give vehicle details. Thanks for that suggestion Tayken. I will keep that and the suggestion to have my ex's contact information available, in mind for the future.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:56 PM
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If you both have cell phones then logically that should suffice for telephone contact. A driving trip is different than a plane trip and you might want to specify dates you will be staying at a particular place. I believe that when people go on camping trips they specify the general area/national park they will be in.

I can understand your irritation. I'd just give as much information as is convenient for you. If you change your plans while enroute OH WELL. You have a cell phone and a license plate on your car. Maybe the ex wants to put a tracking device on?
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