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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 05-12-2014, 03:39 PM
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My $0.02 on this is that Family Law has become a huge business for litigants. And along with this huge business comes opportunity to make $$$. And they have and they will.

They will even go as far as coaching and training their clients on how to win rather then what is in the child's best interest .

Let's face it, these lawyers who are up against another parent never see the bond or relationship between them. Which means all they are doing is trying to win for $$$ not for the children. Most don't even care weather they win or not .

It's seems as though it's all a snow ball effect. Because after the coaching and training, the parent is then less likely to settle or want to try to settle (in some cases) .

So now after reading this it has opened my eyes some more and I now have to get back to the drawing board.


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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 06:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
Interesting article. Whereas I agree that when the family functions as a whole family prior to divorce it makes 100% sense that the 2 parents strive to continue those roles and should be allowed to. But when one parent, and its not always the Father, finds it difficult to bond and deal with the inevitable stress of being a functioning parent. Once the breakup occurs is it fair to push that parent into a equal role when they clearly did not want or felt it was necessary to be an active parent when they had the chance Sometimes a parent wants to just pat on the head and do the fun stuff. And hands back to the other parent when they want their own time. It is quite obvious to involved parents that having a child is a 24/7 commitment . Interesting that quite often after a breakdown of the relationship suddenly everyone is claiming equal time with their children.

My point is if we push for a generalized statement of what is right then we paint everyone with the same brush. Its far more complicated than that. How does anyone really prove their involvement after the fact. Do we all have to document from the beginning of relationships and parenthood in case their is a breakup!
I get what you're saying here. My first wife was very disinterested in child-rearing. I have custody of our kids and she has access. For a long time she skip out on them but it's getting better. I am pleased about this for the kids.

In my second marriage, she wasn't that interested in the kids either. Her job functions travel and social events kept her out of family involvement beyond her mon to fri job. But after putting me through the ringer and claims I was never involved as a father she wants equal time (before that she asked the court that i get supervised access 10 hours a week no weekends and no overnights). She doesn't agree to right of first refusal either. so when she's away traveling she shuffles the kids off to friends and other family. This is a big battle for me.

raising kids is a commitment. I have been and will always be committed to my kids. they always come first and I'm lucky to have a schedule that I can rearrange to accommodate them as needed. I don't have to rely on anyone to do the task for me just to keep my kids from my ex like she does to me.

So ya the role played prior to breakup by each parent is an important factor for a separation agreement because disrupting the kids as minimally as possible would be better for them. Not every parent out there truly is focussed on the kids.

Not every mother is fit to parent. Not every father is fit to parent. A simple calculation of level of interest throughout the relationship and their actions post separation can define who is the ideally inclined parent.
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