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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 04-28-2013, 06:49 PM
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Default Taking kids on a month long trip during school year

My ex has informed me she wants to take our 2 daughters overseas to visit family for the month of June. Daughters are in SK and Gr. 2. I don't like the idea and have said as much, because
1) I don't think they should miss a month of school
2) Though I have not seen it in writing, I understand there is a board policy stipulating more than 15 days for an unexcused absence puts their enrollment in French immersion at risk.
3) I don't want to go 4 (potentially 5) weeks without seeing my daughters.
4) According to our SA signed two years ago, ex was to be working full time by now.
I have responded outlining 1,2,3 above, suggesting 2 weeks as more appropriate.
Ex is insistent that they go for a month, saying it is too much money for just two weeks, and that the cost per ticket increases substantially in the summer.
Any advice on how to deal with this. Is a month too long based on 1,2,3?
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:55 PM
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a month is way too long. Maybe get a printout from the school regarding how many days missed is acceptable.

If she refuses then ask her for the kids for one full month without her and see what she responds. I bet she wont like it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:01 PM
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Actually, I see it differently as my kids are older and we often took them out school early for vacation without any impact.

It is June and JK is not even mandatory. Grade 2 has more but in June, it is clean up time and end of year outting.

If the children are doing well then there is no impact. June in also normally not even a full month of school.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:04 PM
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yes but I think the big issue is that he will go 5 weeks without seeing the kids. That and the rules of the french immersion school about days off.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:14 PM
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With kids in only SK and 2, I wouldn't be that concerned about them missing the month of June - particularly in favor of a family holiday overseas. If they were my kids, I would consent - what a fantastic opportunity for them.

However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:16 PM
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I am the devil advocate here so the OP can prepare himself.

Unexcused absence - I assumed she will provide the excuse to the school so this has no weight. Even high school are willing to make arrangement as long the parent ask for.

5 weeks - she will use the excuse that you can not visit family oversea in a weekend. OP should negotiate an exchange for summer time vacation. That is his call but technically refusing it will also be see has trying to deprive the children to visit family.

After my separation, I decided i need to go away and a visit to my family in the state was plan. My ex did not want the kids to be gone for a month and I was planning to go alone. It turn out that my both children reated when they found out and requested to be part of the trip. Ex did not have a choice to agree. I also never refuse him extra time for trip with the children.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
With kids in only SK and 2, I wouldn't be that concerned about them missing the month of June - particularly in favor of a family holiday overseas. If they were my kids, I would consent - what a fantastic opportunity for them.

However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
I would ask for the same amount of time that she wants to take the kids.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nogoingback View Post
My ex has informed me she wants to take our 2 daughters overseas to visit family for the month of June. Daughters are in SK and Gr. 2. I don't like the idea and have said as much, because
1) I don't think they should miss a month of school
2) Though I have not seen it in writing, I understand there is a board policy stipulating more than 15 days for an unexcused absence puts their enrollment in French immersion at risk.
3) I don't want to go 4 (potentially 5) weeks without seeing my daughters.
4) According to our SA signed two years ago, ex was to be working full time by now.
I have responded outlining 1,2,3 above, suggesting 2 weeks as more appropriate.
Ex is insistent that they go for a month, saying it is too much money for just two weeks, and that the cost per ticket increases substantially in the summer.
Any advice on how to deal with this. Is a month too long based on 1,2,3?
1) Missing a month of school is not a big deal at that level, especially for the kindergartner. The mother could arrange with the school to bring some homework projects for the older child to work on. Is she a good student, or struggling? June is generally more goofing around and field trips than it is learning.

2) Will they be in France? Contact the school, and find out what the policy is for an extended absence WITH an excuse.

3) Your ex could arrange to have the kids skype with you weekly during their trip. You could ask for an extended time with them in exchange during the summertime.

4) Irrelevant. Annoying, but irrelevant. If you want to address her employment, that would be something separate to this proposed holiday. You were wise not to bring it into this issue. I'm not sure why you're telling us, except that you may be wondering how she can afford a trip at all?

Personally, I think this sounds like the trip of a lifetime for them, and getting to know their extended family could be very beneficial. Do you have a fear they won't come back?
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:39 PM
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I can only comment on point 1.

My kids (now in high school) have missed 1+ month or more several times to visit overseas relatives or just go traveling. My philosophy has always been that the cultural enrichment would offset any school loss. Even up until grade 8, I've pulled them out for up to a month for trips. Keeping up on homework and assignments was always a priority, and in the end, they never really missed a beat.

In my opinion, as long as they are doing well in school, the academic impact will actually be positive. The schools have been nothing but supportive every time I've asked for an academic leave.
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
I will have them for four weeks in the summer regardless; we split the summer holidays evenly. But I cannot take an additional 2-3 weeks of vacation, and I can rarely take more than 2 weeks consecutively.
Make up time would amount to about 10 overnights and 5 weeknight visits, based on our typical parenting arrangement.
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