Smoking

[fireweb13]

So we were at the lunch table today, eating some carrots and veggies and my daughter started to pretend to smoke a carrot as a cigarette. She asked me to guess what she was doing and I said that I was not sure, so she said she was smoking. Then she asked me why I wasn't laughing. Her mom and her moms boyfriend smoke alot, so does my ex's mom and most of her family. My father died 2 years ago and a good chunk of the reason was because he smoked like a chimney. So I told our daughter that smoking is not good, and that I would not laugh at her pretending to smoke. I am wondering if anyone has a more constructive way to deal with this since her mom and family smoke, I know that it is going to send her bad signals if I say something is bad, and mom does it all the time. Our daughter also has asthma. What would be some good non alienating ways to deal with this?

[wretchedotis]

How old is your daughter?

I smoke (unfortunately), and my boy is now in grade one.

I can tell you they push 'no smoking' at school. He is often in my face on how I need to quit. I would think that she'll soon be converted to fascist anti-smoking ideaology and you won't need to worry about it.

Until then, just tell her that smoking is bad, yucky, etc and not something to be emulated.

[Rioe]

Maybe you could say that it's bad for people's health and dangerous to try, because once you do it's very hard to stop. That way you're not really making her mom and mom's family out to be bad people for smoking, just victims?

[fireweb13]

I think I will try that Rioe, my biggest thing is not making my ex out to be bad. She does a good enough job on her own lol, and I will let her do it to herself.

[May_May]

Our oldest son who is now 13, at the age of about 5 (when my father died of cancer) would tell people off as we walked past them and they were smoking. He told them that they could die from smoking and not to do it...

Our little guy who is 6 has pretended to smoke a couple of times because he has seen it on TV at dads house. I've told him, and so has his brother how bad it is but he still is fascinated about it in TV. I'm waiting for school to help out here as well...

[Ames]

I have no qualms about telling my children that smoking is bad for your health and dangerous. My ex smokes, and I have still have no issue with discussing this frankly with my kids.

They are going to get the "smoking is bad" message anyway - it is all over schools and media and is targeted at kids. Smoking IS bad. Don't feel guilty for stating that fact to them.