Sick During Assigned Visit

[NBDad]

She has primary care and control of her 6 year old daughter and the father has visitation access every second weekeend. In the event that the father cancels a weekend visit (eg. he is out of town), no make up visit will be provided by the mother. However if the mother cancels a weekend visit, she must provide a make up date for him.

The mother should rarely, if ever cancel a scheduled weekend. Unless there is a signed court order allowing her this, she has no right to cancel the father's assigned parenting time. It can be used against her if he grows half a brain or find a halfway competant lawyer.

What should she do if the child is sick on the day of an assigned weekend visit? She cancelled his visit this past weekend because the daughter was too sick but now the father is calling her school and verifying that she was sick

She should allow the child to go with the father and let him care for her. Or at least offer the father the option. (ie. if the child has spontaneous diarrhea...if he wants to risk cleaning up his vehicle...that's HIS prerogative). The only time this would not hold true would be if the child is in the hospital/etc. Otherwise, he is as much a parent as the mother is, he should get to equally share the downsides to that as well as the upsides.

[HammerDad]

As mentioned, unless doing to parenting exchange would potentially harm the child, it is the NCP's parenting time.

Being a parent is more then just looking after the kids when they are healthy.

If the child is sick, your g/f should have let her ex know and let HIM make the decision about whether or not he is going to exercise his parenting time. The CP does not have the authority to unilaterally decide whether or not the NCP gets to exercise their parenting time.

Hopefully your g/f offered compensatory makeup time to be exercised ASAP, apologized and won't make the same mistake again. Otherwise, she has denied access and could be found in contempt if her ex really pushed it.

[Rioe]

First of all, this is a resurrected thread, so I'm pretty sure the child is all better by now!

[quote=HammerDad;84429]If the child is sick, your g/f should have let her ex know and let HIM make the decision about whether or not he is going to exercise his parenting time. The CP does not have the authority to unilaterally decide whether or not the NCP gets to exercise their parenting time.[quote]

But I am interested in finding out more about this notion of the other parent being given the choice about taking the child or not. As it's the prescribed access time, isn't he responsible for taking the child, ill or healthy? Why should the NCP be able to choose to only take the child when she's not sick? Just as the CP can't refuse to let him have the child when she's sick, shouldn't the NCP not be able to refuse to take the child?

Obviously, in an ideal situation, they would communicate and discuss what is best for the child overall, and also, it's probably not wise for a sick child to go with a parent who isn't willing to take good care of her, but strictly by the letter, I don't think the NCP gets a choice.

[HammerDad]

[quote=Rioe;84440]First of all, this is a resurrected thread, so I'm pretty sure the child is all better by now!

[quote=HammerDad;84429] If the child is sick, your g/f should have let her ex know and let HIM make the decision about whether or not he is going to exercise his parenting time. The CP does not have the authority to unilaterally decide whether or not the NCP gets to exercise their parenting time .

But I am interested in finding out more about this notion of the other parent being given the choice about taking the child or not. As it's the prescribed access time, isn't he responsible for taking the child, ill or healthy? Why should the NCP be able to choose to only take the child when she's not sick? Just as the CP can't refuse to let him have the child when she's sick, shouldn't the NCP not be able to refuse to take the child?

Man, I am normally good for picking up necromancy.....must have missed this one....

Regarding point of causing the NCP to use their parenting time....there are no remedies for NCP's not using their time. No court will force a parent to parent when they don't want to. Biggest reason being, does anyone really think it is in the kids best interests to be under the supervision of someone who really doesn't want them? My guess would be no...

However, should the CP have any plans that would cause them to lose money by a) hiring a babysitter or b) cancelling the plans and possibly losing the costs, lets say concert tickets that they couldn't re-sell, the CP is entitled to request reimbursement from the NCP. The NCP probably will fight paying it, but a judge would find that their actions caused the CP to incur extra expenses, and thus the NCP should bear the burden of those expenses.

It isn't common for CP's or NCP's to get into this, but there is some case law....it is just too expensive for minor matters to bother seeking the remedy.

[stevepiper]

I agree... you should give the access unless seriously ill.... which is not very often for most normal children. The problem is many women now use the children as weapons to get back at their ex.... This should not be tolerated by judges and the lawyer should be able to use it to give the father more excess.

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by stevepiper

I agree... you should give the access unless seriously ill.... which is not very often for most normal children. The problem is many women now use the children as weapons to get back at their ex.... This should not be tolerated by judges and the lawyer should be able to use it to give the father more excess.

It is easily argued against should the issue come up.

First, ask of they took the child to the hospital. Because if it is not serious enough for a trip to the hospital, then there is no reason why the other parent can't handle it. If the child did go to the hospital request a copy of the doctors notes each time. Unless the doctor has prescribed that the child should stay home, then there is no reason they can't go to the other parents house.

[stevepiper]

I agree with Hammer Dad

[Pursuinghappiness]

I agree with the above posters.

She should wait right until the child is ready to have a bout of explosive vomiting or diaherreah and hand the child to its father.

[Access Dad]

I too had a question like this that I was going to post, but you guys have answered it well.