Should I drop special expense request?

[mummer1962]

Just wondering if I should drop the special expense request for horse expenses and lessons? My rationale is that he has been torturing us with diversion tactics like the paternity test on an 18 year old, allegations towards me that are complete lies and the emotional abuse of not even contacting or acknowledging my daughter over the holidays. Maybe if I drop the special expense request, BTW that I have been paying solely for 7 years, that he will back off..Will the judge get to see why I am dropping the request? It is just a simple child support variation as he has not been paying the proper amount for years but supported my daughter in other ways through family trips etc...until his remarriage last year, when it all stopped! HELP

[Mess]

Sports as a special expense are most easily arguable if it looks like it could lead to a vocation (becoming a pro player, coach, trainer, etc) in which case it is pretty much identical to schooling. One of the examples in the family law act is being on a national team.

That said, the courts are pretty liberal in this interpretation and tend to include as special expenses anything that is costly. It is still arguable, and one spouse could very well argue that if the family were together then it would have been dicussed and decided as too expensive, and that they don't agree etc. It is easy to be contentous about this stuff.

My daughter does synchronized swimming and the difference in cost between recreational teams and competitive teams is considerable. Obviously my daughter doesn't think about that, and her mum and me get competitive about wanting to give her stuff so we indulge her more than we would if we were still altogether. Budget fights are tough for a lot of reasons.

In your case, should you drop it isn't really a legal issue, it is a negotiating issue. You should make an offer to settle with your ex that removes the lessons from the special expenses (if you are fine with that) and then he has the option of settling out of court, or going to court and ending up paying for the lessons.