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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-02-2017, 06:00 PM
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Default School Drop Off

Question for anyone who may have had a similar experience,

Sons mother will not send his school bag with me when I pick our child up for my overnights, and insists on meeting me at the school with it the next morning and a lunch. I donít particularly like this arrangement as childís mother has a history of irritability and outbursts, and I somehow think itís easier (on everyone) to just send the bag with me when I pick child up and let me pack him a lunch for school.

Iím going to email her to attempt to get her to agree to this, although it seems unbelievable I actually have to ask this, but what is the correct course of action in this situation? I donít feel Iím being unreasonable in requesting to drop our son off to school on my own and pack him a lunch...

Can anyone share any insight or experiences in this situation?
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverGreen View Post
Sons mother will not send his school bag with me when I pick our child up for my overnights, and insists on meeting me at the school with it the next morning and a lunch.

Question: Why are you meeting with mom at school next day with a lunch if you don't have the child's packback ? Are you picking up from school ? And is she is showing up at school when child is let out and taking the backpack with her ?
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:17 PM
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So take him to get him a schoolbag and lunchbox that he really likes, have him make a lunch with you so he's involved and is more likely to eat the lunch. Then when mom shows up at the school with extra stuff simply tell her it isn't necessary and he has everything he needs.

If need be, show up earlier or later than usual to drop him off to avoid seeing her. Eventually, she will hopefully get tired of wasting her time going for nothing with unecessary things.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:18 PM
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I pick my kid up from moms house for my overnight...she WONT send the backpack with me.

She then proceeds to insist on showing up when I drop the child off WITH the backpack and a lunch.

She insists on meeting me every morning I drop our son off with the backpack and lunch, she wonít give me the backpack....
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:20 PM
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Buy a pile of really cheap backpacks. Do what Blink suggests for a while and mom will stop. Do it even if she doesn't return the backpack you purchased. Buy the same backpack. Rinse and repeat until she figures it out.

When you get the Backpacks back you can donate them.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverGreen View Post
I pick my kid up from moms house for my overnight...she WONT send the backpack with me.

She then proceeds to insist on showing up when I drop the child off WITH the backpack and a lunch.

She insists on meeting me every morning I drop our son off with the backpack and lunch, she wonít give me the backpack....
I'm still not understanding how you drop your son off with the backpack if you are not getting it on your pickups to begin with ?
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:34 PM
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I understand the issue now. Just wants you to bring lunch for him in mornings when you drop him off, and she makes a point of being present on morning drop offs and uses her "withholding" of the child's backpack to justify that. Correct?


Send email that you are happy to continue packing lunch for him in mornings, but would like to pick up from school for your parenting times,

Dear Ex,

I would like to start picking up our son from school for my parenting times. I will continue to drop him off in mornings with a lunch.

I look forward to speaking with you.



Save the nasty response email, and bring a motion to allow you to do pick ups from school, and mention what the issue has been. If she continues to show up at school to snatch child's backpack at that time.. then oh man. that's when motion to change custody.

Last edited by trinton; 11-02-2017 at 08:40 PM.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:35 PM
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He doesnt have the backpack. She has the backpack and shows up at the school with it.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
I'm still not understanding how you drop your son off with the backpack if you are not getting it on your pickups to begin with ?


Heís not dropping his son off with a backpack... Iím not sure why itís hard to follow his post?

He picks child up from Moms house... mom wonít give him the backpack... next morning mom packs the lunch and backpack and brings it to the school.

He wants to know how to go about getting Mom to agree to give him the backpack when he picks the child up from Moms


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Old 11-02-2017, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
He doesnt have the backpack. She has the backpack and shows up at the school with it.
Yes, just clicked in. I edited my post to reflect that.

The issue with him bringing his own backpack is it won't have no school books in it. It will be empty. Planner? Now child will have 2 packpacks, and soon enough, a gizzilion . Not sure if judge would look favourably on dad doing this. Best to lay low and get a lawyer or judge to help you. Not saying judge would look favourably on mom either.. Isn't the planner is supposed to be signed by you since you have child overnight ? How do you even help with homework in such case.

A letter from lawyer would probably be best I would say. You could justify her beavhaiour to expand your access to school pickups (if you can accommodate your work schedule for that)

Last edited by trinton; 11-02-2017 at 08:51 PM.
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