rights of first refusal

[iceberg]

Can one exercise rights of first refusal if that clause is not in agreement/order? My case is shared/joint custody.

[beebie]

No.
But if you can get the other party to agree, you're good.

[billiechic]

no, it needs to be included. i dont have it in my order, becasue i would not want my ex trying to take my daughter everytime i decided i needed a child free movie night and she needed a night with grandma. and i wouldnt want him to give her to me for the same reasons. Basically he is free to choose a sitter if he need one, and so am I.

but when it goes to days or nights needing care, i reasonably asked him if he wanted the time first.

[Berner_Faith]

No you can't just go by it. My bf has in his agreement a time frame though... something like if the time period is more than 6 hours the other parent must have the option first. This just makes it easier as if one parent wants to go to dinner or what not they don't have to call up the other parent to watch the children.

[iceberg]

So when my ex goes to party for days or goes weeks oversees I have no choice but to keep my kid with my ex's family during her time?

How do I file for that clause to be included in our "minutes of settlement"?

[billiechic]

did you already submit your minutes?
Minutes will be made into an order, so if they are submitted then you will have to seek a motion.

Best bet is to ask the ex (via letter) to consent to this. Its not something that should cause a huge argument, as someone will need to watch the child while they are busy!

you can word it so that if one parent is unavailable to care for the child for an extended period of time (more than 24 hours..48 hours whatever threshold you want), then the other parent has the right of first refusal and will be offered the opportunity to care for the child during this time before any other person.

good luck!

[May_May]

My ex and I agreed to something we exchanged back and forth via email.

We both will ask the other parent first if they would like to 'babysit' on 'day/date/timeframe'...If you say no-we ask the grand parents next. Then you can get a sitter. We also agreed that we would never use it against the other ever. It's our agreement to want to be asked first, and both of us would love any extra time we get with our boys (we share 50/50).

Usually my ex is very angry and argumentative...he agreed with this and we've been doing it for over a year and this has probably been one of the only 'smooth' agreements we have in place where there has never been an upset.

Good luck !