Refusing to continue kids sports

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by hadenough

Whatever with the "it's his time" that some people say. "His time" doesn't include the right to deprive the kids of their passions and the dedication and time they have put forth .

Hadenough - does that mean her ex can dictate what the kids do on her time as well? I mean, lets say the kids like some other activity, but it would be a PITA for her to do it (location/cost/timing) can the ex arrange for people to come to her place to get the kids and shuttle them around?

Simply put is no.....neither parent gets to dictate how the other parent gets to parent in their house. The only remedy (outside of getting him to agree) is if you think you have a good chance of convincing a judge to provide that these activities are necessary and it is the best interests of the kids that these activities should trump the other parents able to parent as they feel fit in their own house. Then, if a judge states that the child shall continue their activities, OP's ex will be obligated to ensure their continued attendance.

Otherwise it is their house, their rules, their schedule. Yeah, it sucks for the kids in this case. But neither parent has the authority to tell the other what they are to do during their parenting time.

Edit - if my ex tried to tell me what to do, I simply ask if I get the same consideration in return. If she said no, I'd advise her that she now has my answer to her request/instruction.

[Berner_Faith]

Even if she arranged for other parents to pick the kids up...he can still refuse to let them go...this is something she would have to discuss with him first, not just have a parent show up to pick up the kids without his knowledge.

I agree its unfair of him...heck last summer when we had the kids, I would drive the kids 3 hours to get to their swimming lessons (that were maybe 45min) and then turn around and drive 3 hours back as my bf was working... they enjoyed swimming so we made sure they got there...it will be the same this summer as both kids are in baseball... we have them for 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August, and during those 2 weeks, every Saturday we will have to do this...but if for some reason we are not able to do this, we both have to work or such, there is really nothing she can say about it, nor force us to do this...we do this on our own.

If ex is in agreement for others or even you picking up/dropping off the kids so he doesn't have to...great...but I wouldn't try that without speaking to him first. It's sad he is not willing to support his kids in sports they enjoy.

[hadenough]

I meant to say that yes she should discuss other parents coordinating w/her so that the kids are picked up and dropped off. Sent in an email - reasonable and advising of proposal. And if he still is unwilling to discuss then I'd go see a lawyer and discuss my options b/c this whole situation is so unfair and unkind to the kids. Open up another can if you can - if that's your only way to get through to him.