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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-26-2017, 12:50 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default Principled Parenting while alienated

Well bag of poop,

Over the past three months D10 and D13 now live pretty much full time with their mom. For eight years post separation/divorce we had joint and shared custody. It was a battle though, constantly and it was pretty clear (as far as I am concerned) that OP had been actively trying to get our daughters to `choose` one home to live in.

So despite every effort to continue supporting two homes, and there being a pile of conflict, they are now, and very suddenly, just living with her. Both have emotional issues and so I do not force them to come home for fear of spiking any anxiety. Of course, with OP not doing much except throwing stones, it`s not like there`s a huge amount of effort to get anything back to some semblance of normal.

Recently, our daughters have stopped wanting to see me in any capacity.

There`s a special type of hurt I realize is reserved for this type of thing.

What I recognize though, as does CAS and their counselor, that something does not add up at all. CAS provided an official letter stating that they believed a ~comprehensive assessment was required~

So at our case conference last week where OP had filed for sole custody, that fell apart and we got an order for the OCL and a custody and access assessment should the OCL not employ a clinical assist. Thank god. But now, now I have started receiving texts from my youngest demanding that she be able to take anything she decides.

So now I'm drawing lines and putting a hold them making the decision to just move out. With OP now acting as though she has full custody, I again know that's not exactly supported.

Now what do I get back? Not responses that just echo of things OP has said to me, but the exact critical phrases over text. I mean wow.

So I put the breaks on that as well in no uncertain (but very appropriate terms). What a suck show to think that your children, from whom you are already alienated, feel like they can lash out at you and when you put your foot down, most likely have a very understanding ear who'll probably just offer her support saying the usual "you need to stand up for yourself, you did nothing wrong".

Yup, a just a rant.

p.s. I will say though, that out of the blue, hours after D10 pushed the envelope and I sealed it shut. I got a three word text "I love you". Haven't heard that from her in over a week. She get's those messages from me regularly, she might have gotten an emphatic one again.
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