Play Recordings to CAS?

[Teddie]

Hi,

I recently called cas to investigate my ex wife after I received complaints of physical abuse from my 11 year old. There has always been problems with mental abuse and parental alienation but the cas did not want to intervene last year when I contacted them.

When I called cas and gave them details of the recent abuse they opened a file. They have met with my ex and the children in her home already and are now coming to meet me and the kids in my home.

From the sounds of it my son downplayed a lot of the abuse to the cas worker; I think he was uncomfortable talking to them when he was still at his mother's home. I am at a loss for words as to why they would have chosen to meet with her first instead of me but whatever.

When the worker comes tonight, I am sure she will have to address whatever lies my ex may have told her about me but after that I do have recordings of my son complaining about the abuse that he suffered.

My questions is, can I play the recordings for the cas worker or is that something that is off limits for me to be doing?

Thank you

[winterwolf7]

You can offer to do so and see if they want to hear it.

What was your goal in calling CAS? You should be aware that they generally do not "help" in any productive sense of the word. Do you expect your ex to attend anger management? Are you trying to change custody? Or did you simply want to make trouble?

As you may find out, depending on what your ex has said, you may find the spotlight being brought onto you instead. However I'd guess there's a 99% chance that they will simply close the file based on what you've said here.

[Teddie]

I called because my son has repeatedly complained about physical abuse, mainly being slapped across the face. He mentioned one occassion where she slapped him and made his mouth bleed. My hope is that this type of behaviour is at least documented and maybe she is advised to seek counselling. I am not trying to cause problems or get revenge but I do fully expect to be questioned about things she has told them about me. Since we separated I have been accused of every thing you can imagine so I am ready for whatever she throws at me.

I will see if they are willing to hear the recording I have. The worst they can do is say no.

Thanks

[MommaMouse]

Originally Posted by Teddie

I called because my son has repeatedly complained about physical abuse, mainly being slapped across the face. He mentioned one occassion where she slapped him and made his mouth bleed. My hope is that this type of behaviour is at least documented and maybe she is advised to seek counselling. I am not trying to cause problems or get revenge but I do fully expect to be questioned about things she has told them about me. Since we separated I have been accused of every thing you can imagine so I am ready for whatever she throws at me.

I will see if they are willing to hear the recording I have. The worst they can do is say no.

Thanks

Just beware that the vast majority of CAS cases go no where. Best thing you can do is take your child to a doctor or go for councilling. There he will get far more help/support than CAS will give. Plus then the abuse is documented and they can be an advocate for you.

[Skndlz2904]

Originally Posted by Teddie

I called because my son has repeatedly complained about physical abuse, mainly being slapped across the face. He mentioned one occassion where she slapped him and made his mouth bleed.

So if she assaulted him why didn't you go to the police?

[billiechic]

Originally Posted by Skndlz2904

So if she assaulted him why didn't you go to the police?

He was probably not told of the assualt until well after the fact.


Both the police and CAS are very skeptical about parents who report abuse of their children by the other parent. I am in NO WAY saying that is the case, but it happens all them time. I myself was in this situation and the CAS worker just closed the file without much work at all.

The suggestion that you take your child to your family doctor is the best I can give. At least then if it is reported then it will not come from you. The doctor will likely want to speak privately with your child, and hopefully the child will be comfortable enough to tell him/her the truth.

Our CAS file was just closed last month, and I've made an appointment for my child to see our family doctor next week. I'm hoping he will speak privately with her (and she tells him the truth, whatever it is) and then recommends some counselling to help her deal with the divorce.

Regardless of what happens, I will not be calling CAS again. If my child comes home with injuries or tells me about something, I will be following my own advice and getting her to a preofessional who will be able to report it.

[winterwolf7]

Originally Posted by billiechic

Regardless of what happens, I will not be calling CAS again. If my child comes home with injuries or tells me about something, I will be following my own advice and getting her to a preofessional who will be able to report it.

Who will then blame you for the injuries, take away one or more of your children and you will never see them again. Of course, before that you'll be criminally charged, lose your job and family because of the charges, go bankrupt fighting them and end up ruining your own life.

Oh sorry. That's just been my experience for the past 5 months.

Trust me, do not get involved with the family destruction system if you can avoid it at all. It's just another money making treadmill for the lawyers.

[winterwolf7]

What I think MommaMouse was advocating is the correct approach. HELP your child, do not expect anyone else to do it. Doctors and counseling are a means to an end of helping the child cope with the situation. If you are just hoping to use doctors and psychologists as another vehicle to drag CAS into it you are going to end up destroying your family.

Remember, CAS does one thing and one thing only. They remove children from their families and put them in the care of others. Hopefully other relatives, sometimes foster families, and nearly always putting them in situations worse off than when they started out because of naivete on the part of the parents.

[billiechic]

Originally Posted by winterwolf7

Who will then blame you for the injuries, take away one or more of your children and you will never see them again. Of course, before that you'll be criminally charged, lose your job and family because of the charges, go bankrupt fighting them and end up ruining your own life.

Oh sorry. That's just been my experience for the past 5 months.

Trust me, do not get involved with the family destruction system if you can avoid it at all. It's just another money making treadmill for the lawyers.

that was uncalled for. I very much doubt taking my chjild to her family doctor would result in anything of the sort, since he is very well informed of our situation. All I meant was that I would make sure it was a professional who made the reporting next time and not myself.

what exactly do you suggest a parent should do if they think their child is being abused by someone at the other parents home? nothing?

[iceberg]

Originally Posted by MommaMouse

Just beware that the vast majority of CAS cases go no where. Best thing you can do is take your child to a doctor or go for councilling. There he will get far more help/support than CAS will give. Plus then the abuse is documented and they can be an advocate for you.

Very good advice