Planing to obtain child mobility to another province

[wanna move]

lets make this short
have joint custody with ex of our 6 year old boy, i am the primiary caregiver, dad gets him three weekends out of four and (supposed to) wednesdays from 5-7pm and Sunday overnights with his weekends if he is available to prepare our son for school the next day NOT his mother (which he doesnt do anyways)

i have many job offers in the new province, where i live right now we rely on forestry industry and have seen unreasonable downfalls in community that everyone is leaving, my job is no longer secure either and took already a 50% paycut and will have to face bankruptcy soon.
My son needs counselling to determine a learing disability and no counsellors available in my small community, other province there is one right in the school for kids
many more reacreation activities that are not available here as well as a multi-cultured environment which is not the case where i live now.
i have a new boyfriend in this province for last 5 months and has much to offer both of us.
father got more time in our joint custody battle to spend with our son and isnt even taking advantage of it missing quite a few scheduled visit without even calling or excusing himself, our son is devestated when he doesnt show.
has also been playing head games with our son and is living at his moms
His mother has an extensive criminal record and i know nothing about her new boyfriend living in the same dwelling also
Dad never calls to talk with our son.
When he does have son he does play with him but returns him completely burned out of his weekend with less than desirable hygiene and has skipped meals. Dads only gonna deny this i know.
Dad works on shift work and cant be available to prepare our son for school in the morning and care for him at all when on night shifts.
I need advise on how to go about with this i have done extensive research on the new community i am looking to relocate in.

[billm]

Sorry but I have little patience for selfish parents who want to separate their children from the other parent and disquise it as 'in the interests of the child', when really it is all about them (and in this case their new boyfriend).

Originally Posted by wanna move

...
have joint custody with ex of our 6 year old boy, i am the primiary caregiver, dad gets him three weekends out of four...

Joint custody = joint decision making, equal rights, both are parents...

Originally Posted by wanna move

...i have a new boyfriend in this province for last 5 months and has much to offer both of us...

Come on this is about you. Who do you think your son would choose to see more of, his father, or your new boyfriend. How stable is a 5 month relationship with a new boyfriend in a different province, not very. If this is in the best interests of the child, then let the boyfriend move to you.

Originally Posted by wanna move

...father got more time in our joint custody battle to spend with our son and isnt even taking advantage of it missing quite a few scheduled visit without even calling or excusing himself, our son is devestated when he doesnt show...

And you want to take away MORE time with the father???? Seems like you already 'battled' over custody, which was settled, and now you want to drag him back into court to do it again?

Originally Posted by wanna move

...When he does have son he does play with him but returns him completely burned out of his weekend with less than desirable hygiene and has skipped meals. Dads only gonna deny this i know...

What is there to deny? He plays with him, he gets him dirty, and is not worried about the meals...sounds like a lot of great dads I know. Really, how bad can his hygiene be after only two days?

It is a good thing he has two parents to balance things out. Oops wait, you want to remove the one parent....

[AtALoss]

I guess you are having a bad day. Sorry to hear that but do you think it fair to take your frustrations out on people's legitimate concerns. How about being a bit constructive. You have done this to me and people find this hurtful and that is not what they came here for. They want advice not to be riped apart.

[2boys]

I think you should put your concerns down in writing, with facts and figures. A judge might be willing to see your dilemma. I'm surprised you don't have full custody given what you say above about your ex. And as for certain people who just spend every waking moment on here ripping people apart, just block them. There is an option to do this. I don't know where they find the time to commit to this website like a full time job. It's mind boggling.

[billm]

Sorry, but in this PUBLIC forum I call them like I see them.

I am not here to give advice for people to help acheive their goals if their goals do match my moral perspective on life and family. I consider all those involved, not just the ones posting here, and if I feel I have something to contribute to make things better for all, I do so.

I recognize I did not sugar coat anything and made assumptions here with the limited one sided information provided, but that is how one forms most opinions.

My intent was not to offend, but to offer an opinion, and my opinion in this case is strongly rooted in my beliefs.

I have posted that it can be okay to legally force a move, but this is only after both parents are considered, and the reason has to be extreme, which I don't see this in this case by 'wanna move'.

Seriously, what if someone was trying to take YOUR child away, even after you just went through a legal battle for custody. I have compassion for the child and the father in this case..

'wanna move' I wish you all the best but I stand by my post giventhe information you have provided. I apologize for not sugar coating it, truly.

[billm]

Originally Posted by 2boys

... I don't know where they find the time to commit to this website like a full time job. It's mind boggling.

billm Posts Per Day: 1.18 = full time job???

I assume you work for the government 2boys...

[billm]

Originally Posted by billm

...I am not here to give advice for people to help acheive their goals if their goals do match my moral perspective on life and family...

ahhh, that would be "do NOT match"....

[Jeff]

This is a support forum for people to help each other. Please keep posts on topic. We have a separate forum for political issues if that is what you wish to discuss.

[wanna move]

Originally Posted by billm

Sorry but I have little patience for selfish parents who want to separate their children from the other parent and disquise it as 'in the interests of the child', when really it is all about them (and in this case their new boyfriend).


Joint custody = joint decision making, equal rights, both are parents...



Come on this is about you. Who do you think your son would choose to see more of, his father, or your new boyfriend. How stable is a 5 month relationship with a new boyfriend in a different province, not very. If this is in the best interests of the child, then let the boyfriend move to you.

FYI we were highschool sweethearts for 10 years prior to this

And you want to take away MORE time with the father???? Seems like you already 'battled' over custody, which was settled, and now you want to drag him back into court to do it again?
He's the one not showing up for his scheduled visits which i have always encouraged.

What is there to deny? He plays with him, he gets him dirty, and is not worried about the meals...sounds like a lot of great dads I know. Really, how bad can his hygiene be after only two days?
having his butt full of dry fecies and in a rash because of it, ya i dont consider that normal hygiene maybe you do
It is a good thing he has two parents to balance things out. Oops wait, you want to remove the one parent....

you should spend more time on your mixed up mind and learn how to read right before putting your comments, shows us what level of brightness u really have. and for all others on this thread, don't worry for billm comments i was expecting them as he seems to want to put his 2 cents everywhere eventhough he really doesnt seem to be able to read or understand that maybe we dont put every detail on here because every case does have a lot of details. Cheers billm! there plenty of people like you out there but this lady could careless of what you think. now enough wasted time on you bye bye!!

[tomgirl]

Hi cannot give much advice on this one... I moved out of province with my spouse consent after I had custody. And while living out of province he did not exercise his access rights as he planned to see his children one weekend before school started, Anyway the custody order changed without my knowledge and now I am facing criminal charges.. the judge has no sympathy if they received only one side of the affidavits which were submitted by one party and the other was not there to defend oneself..

All I can say is to document everything, do not rely on technology, you need to have this on paper, the call logs, time of pick up and drop off, condition of the child, good/bad hygiene, any form of abuse including verbal/psychological especially if done in front of the children and DO CONSUKLT WITH A LAWYER, even see 3 different ones, get consultation to see what they can do...

For instance with me, I had quebec lawyers, which were not honest with me, since I cannot get a fare day in court, I have been forceds to represent myself without legal representation, and no access to my file until the week of the proceedings, I have now consulting with Ottawa lawyers, not too many that have dual liscences... I just hope I can find a lawyer that really does do their job and care for their clients and get their children back.. I have always been the custodial parent that nurtures, and never used corporal punishment.. However, in my situation, the father was a nice father when he chose to, he was never the custodial parent, he was the more or less "fun: parent just playing when he felt like it, but then would fall asleep, and injuries would occur and so much more".. Anyway the best of luck/