pick up and drop off

[carman]

my ex moved away from our town for a better job
and he is now insisting that i meet him half way to drop off our child
every second week, he is calming that it is to far to drive to see his
child and is too expensive on fuel
is my responsibility to take her or his to come and get her ??

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by carman

my ex moved away from our town for a better job
and he is now insisting that i meet him half way to drop off our child
every second week, he is calming that it is to far to drive to see his
child and is too expensive on fuel
is my responsibility to take her or his to come and get her ??

1. Did the other parent make the decision to leave the jurisdiction without discussing it with you prior?

2. Meeting half way isn't uncommon for parents to do. Many parents have to exchange their children at an equidistant location.

3. If the other parent moved, didn't notify you of the move and make prior arrangements then well, the onus is on the other parent to meet you at the regularly scheduled exchange location.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[carman]

i guess the point is that he is being a bully and demanding that i meet him half way ,
i would never stop him from seeing his girl but to what extreme do i have to go
what is the legality of it all
do i have to meet him or should i just stay put and let him come and get her

[NBDad]

Depends on what your order states. Typically, he would pick up to begin his parenting time and you would pick up to end it. Less hassle that way.

If HE has moved, the onus would be on HIM to do the extra driving, unless you agreed to it. If you don't then he has no choice but to seek remedy in court. You'd simply indicate you can't afford the extra driving and because of HIS decision to unilaterally move away, that the pickups and drops off should be HIS responsibility.

You'd have a 50-50 shot of pulling that off. The flip side, is that he successfully argues for you to meet him halfway (or to do either the full pick up or full drop off while he does the other) and you get nailed for his costs.

Find common ground and try to work with him. If he's totally unwilling to work with you, simply indicate you will be following the order until it's changed.

LEGALLY you're obligated to do whatever either whatever the order states, OR whatever you would have BEFORE he moved. If you picked up at his residence,you'd pickup at the old residence, regardless of whether he still lives there.

BUT....It's in your best interests to find a common ground and try to negotiate with him. It establishes you as being reasonable and willing to work with him, AND gives you something to hold up as an example if YOU ever need the favor returned. (and helps to nip the risk of being held for his costs in the bud, since you tried to work with him)

[Berner_Faith]

Meeting is not uncommon, and you state he moved for job related purposes... it has already been stated to follow what or order said, but also try to work with him. If you are worried about him moving all the time, I would suggest adding a line in your agreement regarding relocation.

In my bf's agreement and his STBX, it states something like both parents must notify the other 30 days prior to moving. For visitation a destination between the parents home is picked for drop off/pick ups. However it also states that if one parent moves more than 3 hours away, they may not ask the stationary parent to drive more than 90 min... so example, currently him and his ex both drive 40 min min to meet, him and I may be relocating because of my work, the drive will increase to 3.5 hours... she will only have to travel 1.5 and we will be responsible for the other 2 hours... I guess in a sense it protects them both... the only problem I can see is if after we relocate, so too relocates further away from us...

Do try to work with him with the meeting, or like suggested he picks up at your place and you pick up at his.