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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 10-09-2015, 02:16 PM
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Default Phone access - how to address with kids?

Scenario:

Parent B regularly interferes with kids schedule with the Parent A, takes kids from school on the Parent A's time, informs Parent A that they will be taking the kids for XX weekend for an event Parent B wants and has already committed to attending rather than asking, refuses to offer or accommodate any makeup time.

Over the last months, Parent B has now started denying phone access with the kids. The schedule is such that Parent A is stuck not seeing the children for 6-7 days at a time or more on some weeks (depending on Parent B's interference.) Parent A has always called the children regularly to talk on the phone and continues to. Parent A has not been able to communicate with the children via phone for months as there is no answer and messages go unreturned. Parent A had told the children they would call on certain days at certain times so they would know to expect the call and if hey missed it they could call back.

The children have indicated they are aware that Parent A is calling as they see the name come up however they have said Parent B has instructed them not to answer. Most recently the children have indicated they have been told by Parent B that they can talk to Parent A only when they are with Parent A.

Their agreement does address phone access and Parent A regularly facilitates calls to Parent B for the children.

Trying to address the issue with Parent B is futile as they are incredibly hostile and conflict seeking on any and all issues.

Any thoughts on how Parent A can address the situation with the children directly as they are missing the interaction and getting to speak with Parent A on the weeks they are with Parent B. Kids are old enough to make and take their own calls, however have indicated that all requests are denied by parent B and they miss being allowed to talk to Parent A on the phone.
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Old 10-09-2015, 03:20 PM
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Could Parent A get the kids an iPod to go back and forth with them to and from B's place? Maybe as an Xmas or birthday gift? That way kids can communicate with A by text (iMessage) or email, and B's phone isn't involved. (Can also play games, listen to music, etc., on iPod).

(One other iPod thought - if you set up "Find my iPod" on their device and tie it to your own Apple ID, you can always know where the kids are (or rather, where their iPod is). I know it sounds mildly stalkerish, but it's important for some parents whose exes are prone to taking kids places and not informing the other parent).
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Old 10-09-2015, 03:24 PM
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Unfortunately, it would disappear or be "lost", as do most of the things Parent A provides the kids that they want to bring back and forth. Parent B does not allow them to bring ANYTHING, no matter how big or small to Parent A's house.
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Old 10-09-2015, 03:38 PM
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Parent A should send Parent B an email stating that they have been calling the children for the past few months now and have not been able to speak with them. If Parent B's phone is no longer working that they provide an alternative number to call so that Parent A may speak to the kids.

That the order/agreement provides that each parent may communicate with the children when the children are with the other parent. That Parent A allows the children to communicate with them during their parenting time, and that Parent B should do the same as it is in the children's best interest to communicate with both parents. And that as parents, they should be facilitating communication.

Then go from there. Call for a while, log the dates/times/phone number. Then after a lengthy duration, file a motion for telephone access. Maybe that will wake the other side up.
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Old 10-09-2015, 03:44 PM
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This pretty much what Parent A has been doing, a message is left for the kids at every call, it's documented. The only time Parent A has been able to speak with the kids is when Parent B was caught off guard by a blocked number just the one time.

How long would you consider a lengthy duration? This has been going on for months already.
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Old 10-09-2015, 09:03 PM
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Perhaps a little refresher of the CLRA rules which the other parent should be abiding by:

Quote:
Powers of court
28. (1) The court to which an application is made under section 21,

(vii) requiring a party to facilitate communication by the child with another party or other person specified by the court in a manner that is appropriate for the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 28; 2009, c. 11, s. 12.
Children's Law Reform Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12 | Ontario.ca

Then go to the CLRA 38(1) reminder...contempt.

The child was told they could communicate with the parent, thus the child was anticipating and perhaps even looking forward to the call. Children, younger and older require a certain sense of predictability and structure.

28(vii).....he's "required" to facilitate communication.

I feel Parent A on this issue .. as I'm dealing with the same.
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Old 10-09-2015, 09:48 PM
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That's a great link, LF32. That will be VERY helpful. thank you!
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