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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2005, 07:16 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 115
Aden is on a distinguished road
Default Parenting issues

I Can`t help but notice that there are problems with child issues.
My wife and I have been seperated for a month and a half.
We have two little ones, a boy who is three and a lttile girl who is almost 8 mths.

My son and I are- very close , and I have seen him maybe each weekend excepting when she first separted from me I did not see hom for ten days- and although I recieved calls- from him- sporatically, I begged to see him and his sister.
I have sufferered from depression for years and it had become much worse- my wife- is a very good Mom- and she did want me to see the kids- and I have now each weekend since then, I found it it was "ithers" giving her advice for me not to see the kids.
My kids, my wife and family for that matter were/are my life, I have been giving her all my finances each week to help her- since she has now had to go back to work early- (she was on mat leave with our girl)
and she has moved out of our home- I had moved out alreayd on her asking me- since the begginning, and i have no idea wher she has moved to although still local to where we lived, I only have her cell number as well.
-She is very protective of our kids- and I married her for being that way- she wants me to see the kids, each weekend, they are in daycare as well throughout the week.
I have never done a thing wrong with our children - that any good parent hasn`t- my little guy- knows he`s got me wrapped around his baby finger etc....
But she still wants to supervise- I agree with daycare- although Id` like to take him the days i do not work- i am afraid of asking for this since she went off the deep end when we were seperated.
I do not want to divorce or even be separeted but she is having a terrible time dealing with the fact i am on meds for depression.
Its tough- I would come home from work after 14 hrs and stay up with my kids until there nap time -just to see them and help out.
I have never missed anyhting as much in my life- as my family-.
It is too bad, for the kids- when this happens.
Thanks for listening,
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 11-21-2005, 10:06 AM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 49
lammie is on a distinguished road

By your own admission you agree you have issues. You also agree that your wife/ex-wife is a good mother to your children. It sounds like she is trying to do what is best for the children. That is where you need to focus your attention on. While you enjoy being with your children (entirely understandable), you have to understand that being with you all the time may not be the best thing for them.

I think with your depression and other issues you might be dealing with at this point, limited visits while you straghten yourself out would be best for the children. So keep that in mind and do what is best for them.

Take this time to see your children when you can and work on making yourself better. When you do that you are going to be better for your children and you will be better to spend more time with them.
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Old 11-21-2005, 06:33 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 115
Aden is on a distinguished road
Default thank you

Thank you so much for your words,
Yes, she is a great Mother, and her issues aside that she had prior to meeting me, well, I certainly did not help them at times.
I hope to see them more in the future and once our trust issues are worked out- and my health better, I hope to be involved and co-parent as she said to me last week.
I am being totally honest with her regarding my mental health- and she I know appreciates that.
I just miss our kids tremendously, we had lots of good times- not just bad, and I hope she can see that someday, and that I moved forward and actively sought help.
Thank you,
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2005, 09:55 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 49
lammie is on a distinguished road

If she is being reasonable, and it seems she is, let her know you are working on yourself so you can be a better father for the long term interest of your son. Let her know you want to be able to see him as much as possible and as often as it can be arranged and is reasonable. Same goes for your daughter.

Just make sure to take care of yourself, make it clear to your wife that you want to be involved as much as possible with the kids and let your ACTIONS speak for you. Words are often hollow and empty.
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