Parenting course - designed for separated parents

[gooddadgoingmad]

I have signed up for a parenting course when I go home this summer. It is designed to teach parents who are separated, how to handle the circumstances ( even high conflict as mine is) and how to do so with the child in mind...so that things are done with his best interests at all times. The name of the course is " Forever parents". I hear it's quite good.

I tried to do the same course last summer when I was still living in NL...but it got cancelled.

I asked my ex to do it but she refused...just as she refused my request to attend mediation regarding access and visitation with my son. I know that mediation is not something she HAD to do, however I think that the fact that she refused it shows an unwillingness to cooperate in our sons best interest.

I wonder how the court ( and her lawyer) will look at it...that I have taken it upon myself to do these things yet she is not willing to cooperate, for our childs sake.

GDGM

[logicalvelocity]

GDGM,

Attending parenting courses in a volunteer manner, clearly shows that you are commited to your child or children and also you are child centered. I think you will shine bright to the courts on this accomplishment.

[Grace]

I did the parenting courses and found it very useful & imformative. My ex didnt attend. As for mediation, we tried but failed. I have a letter from the mediator clearly stating that it was his side that was mediating in bad faith and we used that letter for future litigation through the courts.

GDGM, your on the right track, and keep a paper trail.

[applepie]

I suspect the courts will not look favorably on your ex for her shenanigans. Keep doing what you are doing and keep writing things down as the others have said. Eventually it will work out for the best. Just hang in there.

[Divorcemanagement]

Grace wrote:

I did the parenting courses and found it very useful & imformative. My ex didnt attend. As for mediation, we tried but failed. I have a letter from the mediator clearly stating that it was his side that was mediating in bad faith and we used that letter for future litigation through the courts

Just out of curiosity, did the other side try to challenge the letter from the mediator? The reason I am asking is because mediation is without prejudice, so for a mediator to list the source (in their view) of conflict or the reasons why the mediation broke down might come back to bite the mediator on the you know what.

When I am mediating and the mediation breaks down. I simply complete a mediation report and state that the mediation ended without a successful result.

Just wondering. ... that's all.

[Grace]

I recall both of us signing a multiple page legal agreement before mediation began to cover the mediators butt.

We used a very well respected mediator with over 30 years experience and the ex's side never objected to me using the letter. Although our file is large and affidavits were always running about 30 pages each, perhaps they missed it. We used this to show the Judge that if particular mediator couldn't help solve our issues then only a Judge could.

[logicalvelocity]

The results of mediation are supposed to be silent and without prejudice.
Unless both parties agree that the mediator is to file a report which most likely occurred in your situation Grace.

[Grace]

There was no mediator report, just a letter, saying he was sorry he couldn't resolve our differences and felt it was because the other side was not acting in good faith and that he felt they should reconsider their "position".

I had high hopes that it would work out. But it didnt and cost big $$$. First my lawyers had to prepare the mediation briefs, which were the size of the Toronto yellow pages ($$$). Then my ex & I split the cost of the mediator to review the briefs and attend the actual mediation which cost about as much as a semester at my child's university . At the actual meeting both my Sr. & Jr Counsel attended ($$$). It lasted about 5 hours, billable hours. Giving the lawyers & mediator credit, it was getting late and they all agreed to stay after hours to get a "done deal". I sat at the table for the first hour, then they separated us in different rooms. I basically read magazines and drank way too much coffee . My lawyers would pop in periodically to let me know what was happening. Then we were so close to a done deal, just working out the household contents, the mediator came in and told me my ex had walked out. He genuinely felt badly, when I went to shake his hand good-bye, he gave me a big bear hug instead and said he was so sorry that this case would have to go the court route.

Consider this more of a personal venting post. I don't mean it to discourage others from trying. I know of lots of cases that settle during mediation. Although it didnt work for me, I'm still a firm believer that mediating is better than litigating. And if we had of settled at mediation we could have both purchase all new household contents for the money we spent on litigation from then on .