Parent Coordinator Contract

[DDM]

My ex-wife & I split 2 1/2 yrs ago. I have hard trouble with access ever since. She has finally agreed to Parenting Co-ordination. I went for my 1st interview/session last Monday. The coordinator explained the contract with her would last 1 yr. If anytime during the contract either my ex or I had an issue with the agreed plan, our file would still be open and we would meet with her to resolve the issue at no addition cost. After the 1yr contract us up we would have to start from square one again.

She also explained that most contracts run 2 or 3 years as it was not uncommon for one or both of the parties to go back to their old ways after the year was up. When I questioned her as to why our contract only ran 1yr, she said it was a directive from my ex's lawyer.

This is a big red flag for me but I've felt pretty burned by her so I'm seeking some input. If anyone has been through Co-ordination I would be interested in your experience an if there is anything I should be especially aware of?

[kat41]

Im not quite sure the role of a parent coordinatr. Is t like mediation? Who foots the bill, choses the person etc?

[kat41]

The reason I ask is that in my case I suggested mediation early on and had the mediator send info to both myself and my ex as well as certification, costs, etc. Mediator cannot give legal representation/advice to either party and both are encouraged to review with a lawyer prior to reaching agreement. I offered to cover most of the anticipated cost of around $3000, my ex totally refused. During case conferences that are very expensive my lawyer raised the issue and ex shot it down. He did however ask that I agree to meet with a counsellor from Childrens Mental Health re parenting issues. I had been ill in the ospital for a couple of months prior. My lawyer advised that if he was only interested in ME to leave meeting giving reason and not return.
At the meeting I waited for the counsellor to redirect and the 2nd time she didnt I advised that this meeting was about my suitability as a parent and more appropriate for Childrens Aid to hear. He had the agency investigate me when I was ill and going in to hospital and they acted in his favour. When they were certain it was a custody/access issue they finally backed off, I was however put through a lot as was my family due to their intervention, as a former CAS worker I know their involvement was erroneous and did not follow mandate. Once I was released from Hospital I advised them to get a court order as they were asking me to sign an outdated document, was ridiculous.
File closed ASAP then and ex om his own then came the suggestion of parenting counseller. Not hard to figure out. Our order was very nearly the same as proposed mediation just cost thousands more and dragged out over a year. Now he is bitter about his debt as I received legal costs by a relative. Hindsight as if he had been willing to mediate we would not have these costs, he was trying to push me knowing I couldnt get legal aid (he did) hoping I would give up due to exhaustion, health issues and finances. I did not and a lot of $ wasted although he now has a lein on his home. He wanted full custody so I had no choice but to fight him.

[DDM]

Thanks for the reply. I am quite sure my ex will expect the coordinator to back her 100% in her attempt to restrict my access. She recently remarried and I know she would like nothing more than for me to disappear so they can raise my son themselves. My hope is that the coordinator has seen this type of thing before and recognizes her lies and manipulation for what it is. I have every expectation that she will say what ever she needs to portray me as unfit. A year ago she decided I should only have supervised visitation. No court order - just her order. It has taken this long to even get her to allow a 3rd party to be involved. My son is almost 3 and I have never had him overnight. I see him in my parents home 1 day a week. As much as I am hoping for a change I have a nagging feels in the pit of my stomach that this will never be over and I will be fighting this forever. But I'll never give up.

[WorkingDAD]

Originally Posted by DDM

Thanks for the reply. I am quite sure my ex will expect the coordinator to back her 100% in her attempt to restrict my access. She recently remarried and I know she would like nothing more than for me to disappear so they can raise my son themselves. My hope is that the coordinator has seen this type of thing before and recognizes her lies and manipulation for what it is. I have every expectation that she will say what ever she needs to portray me as unfit. A year ago she decided I should only have supervised visitation. No court order - just her order. It has taken this long to even get her to allow a 3rd party to be involved. My son is almost 3 and I have never had him overnight. I see him in my parents home 1 day a week. As much as I am hoping for a change I have a nagging feels in the pit of my stomach that this will never be over and I will be fighting this forever. But I'll never give up.

Decision of Parental Coordinator regarding time sharing and custody are not binding. Basically it means nothing. I do not think Parental coordinator even will try to deal with it (I mean honest one)...

as example from
MORE INFO ON PARENTING COORDINATION Michelle L. Hayes B.S.W.,M.S.W

What do Parenting Coordinator’s Do?

The Parenting Coordinator (PC) has two general functions. One is as a coach/educator/facilitator, who attempts to minimize parental conflict and enhance parallel parenting, cooperation, and mutual respect. This involves helping parents to develop more effective problem solving skills and strategies, to communicate better with each other, and to understand relevant child development principles. Whenever possible, a major goal is to help parents develop better skills so they do not need a Parenting Coordinator. The second function is to assist parents to implement, maintain and comply with their Parenting Plan. If there is a dispute and the parents cannot come to a mutual agreement, either on their own or with the assistance of the Parenting Coordinator, the PC makes final and binding decisions in keeping with the children’s best interests for matters that are not designated otherwise in the Parenting Plan. However, the PC does not make binding decisions regarding legal custody, relocation and/or parenting time schedules, other than those of a minor and temporary nature.

I hope that help (but honestly looks like unlikely )

[dinkyface]

The parenting coordinator's agreement (that you, your ex, and the PC signs) should indicate the scope of their services, including
- what topics may or may not be covered
- if there is any 'binding arbitration' process, and how this process is initiated

Look at the agreement carefully, and make changes where needed. If you cannot agree at this point, then do NOT go any further.