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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-09-2017, 10:33 PM
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Default Other parent showing up on parenting time

Hi everyone, was hoping I could get some more advice from all of you knowledgeable, friendly posters,

It does feed in with my last question for 'School Drop Off'.

Basically, I drop my child off to school two days in a two week period, just when hes with me after my overnights. His mother has decided its okay to show up on my time to deliver school backpack and lunch for child. However, I would prefer to be able to pack him a lunch (honestly not sure why I shouldnt be able to pack my own child a lunch for his school days), and I would way rather that we do the drop offs separately.

Some backstory - Childs mother has behaviour issues, outbursts, severe anger, irritability, control issues etc. We have done a full bilateral assessment which diagnosed her interpersonal issues, her hostility and even went so as far to say that if her hostilities do not cease she should lose custody. That was 3 years ago. For the most part she has been a lot better, however I notice now she seems to think that because conflict has subsided she now gets to tell me which medical appointments I have to show up for (doesnt even ask and the court gave her decision making authority for medical reasons), tells me we have to attend parent teacher interviews together (I know we can do this seperately) and seems to think shes going to meet me with childs backpack and lunch every morning I drop him off for school now.

At one point we had a a court order that clearly stated we were not to be at the daycare at the same time, and I would like to move back to this standard even though the child is now in school. I put my best foot forward and went to a few parent teacher interviews with her, and now because Ive given her an inch shes taking a mile.

What are my rights in this situation? If I ask her not to show up on my parenting time and she keeps doing it can I go to court for this? Id rather avoid it but Im not sure Ill have that luxury, for the record - I DO NOT ever show up on her parenting time and if I wanted to I certainly would ask first rather than barge in.

Im not looking to reignite conflict (although it more than likely will), however we were separated because of her public outbursts and general behaviour in front of the child. How should I approach this? Id just as soon stay at arms length from her because of her behaviour and all sorts of false allegations she tried using against me in court.

Thanks in advance, I really do appreciate this forum and all the posters.
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:23 PM
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Schedule your own interviews with the teachers. You should either attend or take the child to dr apts but if you can't then schedule your own apts to meet with the dr on your own. Simply decline her invitation with a polite 'no thank you'. Consider a communication book that travels with the child for any notes that need to be conveyed between the two of you about the child - nothing else.

I can't remember if it was mentioned in a previous post the reason foe not having 50-50?
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:48 PM
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pickup from school and drop off to school would be of benefit to your child.

You could ask mom to stop infringing on and following you around during your private time with the child.

You don't have to attend school meetings with her. You can do your own interviews. She's just trying to control you and keep a connection with you. She needs to realize you guys are divorced and moved on with your lives.

You can meet with the doctors and request their notes.

I would go to court and ask that you be permitted to pickup child from school for your parenting times, and that you drop them off to school on your parenting times.

Ask for an order that she not be at the school when you pick up or drop off the child but free to attend together for school events
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Old 11-10-2017, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
His mother has decided its okay to show up on my time to deliver school backpack and lunch for child. However, I would prefer to be able to pack him a lunch
I dont understand this. Even if she does bring him lunch, that does not prevent you from sending him a lunch. Sent him a lunch regardless. So what if he has 2 lunches. Maybe she will get the hint and stop sending lunches.
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Old 11-10-2017, 12:23 PM
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AS far as the backpack ask for the backpack when you pick up the child for the overnight.
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Old 11-10-2017, 03:17 PM
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If you picked the child up at school you'd have the backpack.

Her trying to schedule other appointments together with you is showing a pattern. My husband had the same problem with his ex showing up and phoning all the time. I remember one instance when he turned to her and said "Why do you keep showing up and calling? I thought you'd be over me by now."

It actually made a huge difference.
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