one night stand = welfare paternity suit

[Tatyanasmom]

Originally Posted by Lisa

I don't believe that whether she was a bar fly or not is of any importance. Or the gossip that she may have been with 2 other men that week for that matter. What does it say about her brother picking up someone like that? Should he not carry the same derogatory title as she? I think so. One is no better then the other. Obviously they were both consenting adults. The ONLY thing that matters at this time, is that a child has been born and that child needs and deserves to have a father. It may not be the brother's child but there is a possibility that he is. And I guess the biggest thing that comes to my mind is with all the negative things being said about this woman, if it comes out that the brother is in fact the father, how much time is going to be needed to heal and build a relationship with everyone? And if the brother is irresponsible enough to go out and have one night stands, my guess is that he will probably not want anything to do with the child anyway, so what is the family going to do, force him to be a father? This is a bad situation all the way around and the only one that is going to lose is that poor child! Hats off to the woman for having enough balls to take this guy to court, especially considering the situation. It takes alot of guts to do that, and one that I am sure she is not taking lightly. Do you and your brother a favor, consider the possibility he could be the father, and treat her with the respect that she deserves as well.

God knows the truth.....
Thanks for the comment, this one hits home a bit and I have very strong opinions about these kind of situations. Being a Nurse, I have seen many things but it is the pediatric cases that has made me change my specialty. It never ceases to amaze me what people can and will do to each other and their children. My Christmas was great and the kids had smiles all day, it made all the stress of it more than worth it! I hope you had a nice Christmas too, and Happy New Year to you and yours. Thanks

Tatyanasmom
I don't agree with some of the things you are saying in the top of this message. My daughter is now stuck with her father (whom she hates and is afraid of) who has known her for almost 2 yrs (shes 10 by the way) and he is bad mouthing me to her. Saying things like I took her away from him before she was born and thats a lie he just didn't want anything to do with her. If the father doesn't want to step up and take responsablity for the child then don't try to nail someone else with it. Make sure they want to be a father first.

[god knows the truth]

Tatyanasmom:

There is the issue of child support-the little child is entitled to a better lifestyle (regardless of how much support is, it's better than $0). If the child is his, it's his loss if he chooses not to be involved.

In regards to your quote"make sure they want to be a Father first"--my response is: IF THEY DON'T WANT TO BE A FATHER THEY NEED TO KEEP THEIR PANTS ON!! There's no such thing as 100% protection---only celibacy.

[ladyluck]

Yep, I agree with that last statement.

Unfortunately for most men, their you know what comes before their mind!
What can we do about it? Not much, just stay away from men like that is what I do.

[polar]

Well not all men are like that.. we shouldnt generalize

Men need to take responibility, and more and more these days, they just dont.

[Aden]

I genuinely must say that some men.. really do care.. and think with their mind first....my ex and i both wanted children very much.. the sad thing is we wanted more kids... and know I don`t see that happening in the near future which is quite sad... my wife became my hero, when she was pregnant with our children... she always will be.. I admire her actually, she is having a tough go about this as well.. i think that some people.. some men that is.. at least a few I know anyway are in shock when the baby arrives, and I agree that children and raising them takes your life to a whole new meaning.. our kids are my world... literally... nothing comes first in my world -- nothing comes before they do-- nothing ever will......
Cheers...