New Husband brick wall

[baileybug]

I'm wondering if anyone has any thought of what I can do regarding my ex-wife's new husband? They've been married for about 2 years now. Prior to the marriage, my ex-wife and I had a very good co-parenting relationship. We had good communication and didn't end our marriage "hating" each other. We were friendly and could work together in the best interests of our kids. Since the marriage things have gone downhill. For some unknown reason this new husband can not stand to be in the same room as my new wife and I. He is "uncomfortable" is the only information we get. We however, have no problem at all being with them or talking with them and are just very confused and frustrated. What can I do? My ex-wife barely admits that it's the new husband that has issues (she uses "we" all the time when I know it means HE) Communication is now minimal and the kids have now become the messengers. Don't know what to do... Suggestions?

[standing on the sidelines]

here is a suggestion. Since he and your new spouse are the "outsiders" maybe she can talk to him about how she handles the situation. There are reasons that he feels uncomfortable and maybe talking to your new spouse will help him as she is in the same position as him, married to a person co-parenting a child with an ex spouse.

[fireweb13]

What about trying to keep the spouses out of as much of it as possible?I understand its hard because my spouse and daughter have an amazing bond and she cares for her deeply,but when it comes to parenting issues we make sure that its only myself and my ex involved.

[DadofTwoGirls]

Welcome to the club Bailey! My ex uses the "we" nonsense all the time too. Before she moved in with her child-husband (13 years her junior), our communication was fine. After they moved in, I was demonized and communication is now just e-mails. After 5-years, my lessons learned are as follows:

Communicate only about child issues including school, behaviour, safety, medical/dental, extra-curricular activities, schedule and emergencies.

Engage in only factual, meaningful discussions on one of the above topics. Keep your points brief.

Steer clear of the temptation to engage in or respond to hostile exchanges.
If you're pissed off, save your response e-mail to draft and send after a calming period and review.

Ignore attempts to be dragged into a heated battle; you can't win and it's not worth the stress.

Don't hinder attempts by the kids' mother to go on vacation, obtain pasports, have kids for special events, etc.

Unless it is an emergency, you have no obligation to respond within some artificial deadline imposed. Take your time and make your own decisions. There is also no need to unnecessarily delay responses just to be a prick.

Good luck!