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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-18-2017, 03:15 AM
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you said (in 2016) that you were working with a lawyer to make the court aware of the drug use. What happened there?

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...mothers-20365/
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-18-2017, 10:10 AM
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You may be 6 hours away but you can do some research into the community your son lives in and find out if there are any outreach programs or people you could connect with to provide you with information on how best to help your son.

Grandmothers form alliance against drug trade on Manitoulin - Sudbury - CBC News

"it's just pot" isn't a reason to not continue to fight for your son's sobriety. One would have to be naive to not realize that people who sell pot sell the other stuff. Peer pressure at this age is enormous. He has his whole life in front of him. I'd contemplate "outing" him to the native community. He may hate you for years but it sounds as though he will anyway, certainly as long as he is living with his mother.

Others will strongly disagree with me, I'm sure. Legally he is still a child of the marriage. In typical situations judge certainly would listen to child's preference of where he wants to reside. This situation is hardly typical though. I presume your child is not First Nations?
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Old 11-18-2017, 11:30 AM
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the lawyer here said pretty much the same thing the courts are going soft on pot so not really any grounds to change custody arrangements , as for the other issues i am having with my ex re-garding court orders not be followed i would be running up there every month i didnt get my kids , and i can't afford that ,

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Old 11-18-2017, 11:41 AM
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yes my sons are not native and she isn't either , as people have stressed here before he has chosen the free range life that my ex is living , he didnt earn one credit his first year of high school and she says its his choice to be in my life , and says i am harrasing her when emailing her asking about their well being , basically she is doing nothing and hiding out on a reserve , if i email to call them and skype them i get all kinds of excuses phones not charged no internet not home sleeping at 4 in the after noon , to sorry driving can't talk etc etc
she has pretty much alienated me from them , and lawyers say there isnt much can be done , the system is fucked , yes i am angery and upset and i miss my kids very much and it's not fair i am not a dead beat dad they have been stolen from me
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Old 11-18-2017, 12:21 PM
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it does suck.

May I ask how she was allowed to move that far away with the kids and if your CS was cut down due to the amount of travelling you had to do to see the kids?
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Old 11-18-2017, 12:30 PM
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She moved during the summer months so they wouldnít miss school my lawyer said the next court date was in September and she had already established them there we were separated 6 months at that point
I pay support and if she drives to bring them to me she gets 150 for travel if I got there I get 150 from her but with me staying in a motel a visit is almost 400 dollars for 3 day weekend I canít afford that plus support and my own living expenses so itís a no win situation
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Old 11-18-2017, 01:59 PM
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So is your ex (child's mother) native? Both children (including an autistic son) live with her on reserve?
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Old 11-18-2017, 02:16 PM
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Sometimes we have to do things that we don't like to do..... get a second part-time job? I read some of your previous posts and your ex has had custody for 6 years? You had an adult adopted daughter that you were paying support for so presumably that obligation has ended.

Hopefully you will get the money together to make regular trips to visit your son. Let your ex accuse you of harassing her (by email inquiries regarding well-being of sons). Continue to demand academic and medical records. Something down the road may happen and children will know there is someone, other than their mother, who cares.

Good luck - you'll need every bit of it.
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Old 11-18-2017, 02:49 PM
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yes , that is correct, getting a second job doesn't help more support for her the system is broken , i jiust want to see my boys and have them in my life .
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Old 11-18-2017, 03:31 PM
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Talk is cheap. You are short (by your estimation) 250.00 for each trip you take to see your children. How difficult is it to make that money?

Hopefully you have not gotten yourself into yet another relationship with more children (I suspect this is the case). If not, then you are an unencumbered young man with time on your hands, with no child care responsibilities. Sure you may pay your ex increase in CS (I don't know how it is calculated) but if you truly want to see your children you will do whatever it takes to make it happen. You might go a few times without seeing them. However, they will know you made the effort.
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