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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-17-2017, 10:12 AM
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nomad is on a distinguished road
Default my kid is refuses to see me what to do

so last xmas I found that my 14 year old was using pot , i found it on his facebook profile on his phone , he had his privacy settings set so it didn't show on my feed .
i spoke with his mother regarding it and she accused me of stalking him , i also found that she was sending gif and pictures of pot as if it was funny , i confruted her on that and was told to f off , since then my realationship has fallen apart with him he has come to visit since then , and when i travelled to see him he wouldnt see me , he lives 6 hours away , his mother says i betrayed him and he doesn't want to see me and this is how he wants it , so f off again
what can i do ???? is there any legal steps i can take ????
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Old 11-17-2017, 11:43 AM
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to be honest there isnt much you can do. He feels like you violated his privacy when you looked at the stuff on his phone.
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Old 11-17-2017, 12:02 PM
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Hes old enough to make that decision and there is no legal recourse you can take. You should stop going through your ex and start reaching out to your son on a regular basis. He is allowed to do whatever he wants with your ex so of course he will see you as the ďheavyĒ. Keep it light, just talk about superficial things and keep trying to connect with him. Hopefully he will smarten up and see the benefit of a relationship with his other parent.
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Old 11-17-2017, 12:23 PM
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There could be much worse things but I don't agree with it either. Just let him know how you feel about it without being too preachy. Just be a good Dad for him and let him know you're there and try to be involved with him as much as possible.
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Old 11-17-2017, 02:39 PM
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Also try to remember it is just pot, not axe murdering.

If he is a junkie, that's one thing, if he just occasionally smokes, he's only a teenager.
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Old 11-17-2017, 03:56 PM
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How about the fact that his mother is encouraging his behaviour and the pot use ?
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Old 11-17-2017, 04:15 PM
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You're talking about pot, which is on track for legalization. Cocaine or Opiates could be a different story. Weed, most people don't view as being very different from Alcohol. Yes his mother making jokes about it, or encouraging him with it is a poor decision on her part, and doesn't show the greatest choices in parenting, but on its own its really not likely to be enough to get anything changed legally, especially with the age of your son.

Is this really the hill you want your relationship with your son to die on? Keep playing the hardass with it and your son will continue to want nothing to do with you, and you will then leave him completely under the apparently questionable influence of his mother, without you being able to show him a different way.
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Old 11-17-2017, 04:29 PM
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I guess i should have know better to seek advice on the internet ,
just hope my kid doesn't end up dead of an overdose in the back of a car like his mothers brother did at 20 years of age
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Old 11-17-2017, 06:39 PM
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Hes 14. Kids get into trouble and pot is nothing. Plus you cant parent from six hours away and to a child who lives with the parent who lets him do whatever. My partner went through this. His exís attitude was kids will be kids. Plus they listened to their mother because she didnít believe in punishment.

Donít be the heavy. You want him in your life, be a cool parent. Heís not interested in anything else.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:49 PM
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Ya I guess I mean the courts gave her custody and she moved them to an Indian reserve on Manitoulin Island because she shacked up with the native there and and everyone else up there pretty much is either stoned or drunk all the fucking time collecting welfare from hard-working people like you and I so what the fuck
Makes sense ,
And it seems to be what the current trend is just smoke dope and donít worry about your kids , right ?
Wish I was born a woman so I could go around fucking people over and saying to bad to everyone who disagrees with your life style ,
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