Judge ruling.

[bern]

50/50 child access, problem is my kids refuse to see EX. 12 yr old has not seen X since August 28/11. 10 yr old has also stopped. I do encourage the kids to visit and call X but both refuse to, I have them seeing pathways. I am afraid this situation will result in my losing my kids. But what am I to do, physically push them out the door? I need help any surguestion please. They have a lawyer but stopped talking to her, they said she twists thire words.. So I am not sure what to do.

CDS are also involved, worker has told me to try and make them go with X.

Frustrated and confused.



Thanks for you help..

[Berner_Faith]

They don't have a choice plain in simple...the way I see, a Judge may listen to their concerns, but at their age they still do not have a choice. You follow the parenting plan as outlined. Ex comes and gets the kids (or you meet or whatever it is your agreement states) and your kids have no choice...
What reasons do they have for not seeing the other parent?

[bern]

I don't know most of the story, from what I know he has overdosed twice, taken pain medication and alcohol in a restaurant were our 10yr old had to take care if him in the washroom, while staff called for a cab.. Altered a prescription for coscicodon and is being charged by OPP.. steroid use 17 yrs of it.. If his not injecting his drinking.. That's his history.. Don't get my wrong his a good person just not for me..

[beebie]

If he is a drug user , won't have a problem getting an Order requiring drug test and changing order to require 24 hrs or 48 hrs sobriety or clean prior to visit. Or even course of rehab followed by supervised visitation, worst case.

If not a drug user or otherwise unfit, something is fishy and your kids should be counselled.

Make sure you are not unconsciously influencing them because kids tend to identify with the custodial parent (not your fault) but that prejudices the other parent.

[bern]

I do try not to speak ill of my ex, not only to my kids but anyone else... He has been a steroid user and on his off cycle he drinks or users painkillers.. Never did understand it.. Kids are speaking out..

Thank you all for your advise, my head is such a mess.

[NBDad]

12 year old is of an age where their wishes will be taken into account. If they are that adamant about it, then put forth a motion to change the access to account for their wishes.

The 10 year old is not of an age where they can choose. Until the court order is changed, the children (and you) MUST abide by it. Otherwise, yes it can be used against you.

If your ex does not agree to a change in access, you have three choices.

1. Do nothing about it, keep going the way you are, and risk having your denial of access used against you.

2. Put forth a motion to change access, until that motion is heard/ruled upon, you MUST abide by the current order.

3. Don't do a motion, begin following the access order.

Technically, as it stands now, you are in contempt of court.

[Teenwolf]

Agree with the post above; however, a few questions. Does the ex make any attempt to access the children? You state that you encourage the kids to "visit"...does the current order specify him picking the kids up for his access? Or are you required to drop them off? Or does it not specify that?