Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2017, 09:54 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default And it's happened again...

See this thread for the original occurrence.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...l-abuse-19550/

Since then there had been no issues, and they've got along alright, she started trusting him again and allowed him extra time with their daughter outside of what was dictated by the court order, to the extent that in a couple weeks the daughter is supposed to go with him for a 10 day stay.

Tonight she was contacted by a stranger via Facebook, and informed that she's witnessed him driving drunk with their daughter in the vehicle, as well as conducting drug deals. The stranger is apparently the girlfriend of the guy whom my girlfriends ex has been crashing on the couch of... that's a handful of a statement to write. And yes, a year and a half later he is still couch hopping.

Currently we are looking at...

1) She's going to drop in at the RCMP station tonight after she gets off work, talk to them and get their advice

2) Call Child Services or whatever it is called, and get their opinion and advice as well

3) Likely going to deny the 10 day visit, as she's not under any obligation to allow it. This will likely trigger threats of court though, and she's really enjoyed not having to deal with constant court drama for the last two years


What would your actions be in this situation? Any routes we may have missed, or do you think it's an over reaction?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 11:41 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default

And so far, one is left wondering what it takes in order to get action out of these organizations....

1) She went into the RCMP last night, they were sympathetic, but directed her to speak with Child Protective Services.

2) Child Protective Services was called this morning, and they actually interrupted her when she stated that he was drinking and driving, and just told her to go file in court for full custody. No investigation, no statements taken, nothing.

3) We'll be going back to following the current court order to the letter, and looking at talking to a lawyer to get him back down to, hopefully, supervised visitation at the most.

Finding it really frustrating how little happens when you follow the rules. The temptation to tell her to deny any access is extremely high, and all that keeps her from doing it, is the fear of shooting herself in the foot.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 04:19 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,040
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

I can only assume these agencies were no help because you are acting on heresy. You have zero proof this actually occurred other than some stranger contacting you on Facebook. Unfortunately I don't even know a Judge would take this as anything unless said stranger is willing to testify in court.

I agree to follow the court order and let the other parent petition the court to change the access


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 04:44 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,226
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

is the girlfriend of the guy whose couch he is sleeping on just trying to stir up something to try and get him out? I would be wondering about her motive
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 04:52 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default

The woman who contacted her provided her contact information for us to provide the CPS, as well she stated that she will call them herself as well. She's willing to make statements for the police, attend court, etc.

If an uninvolved third party is contacting them about this, and they still don't get interested in pursuing the matter, what the heck does it take? This actually hits two of their criteria, at least from what I've read so from from the Alberta Govt's website.

Child Endangerment, from Drinking and Driving with her in the vehicle, and it hits the threshold for the Drug Endangered Childrens act. (She says she videotaped a discussion of him and his girlfriend planning their next pickup, she just has to make sure she still has it and send it over)

Quote:
http://www.qp.alberta.ca/1266.cfm?page=d17.cfm&leg_type=Acts&isbncln=978077 9776603&display=html
DRUG‑ENDANGERED CHILDREN ACT
2) For the purposes of this Act, a child is a drug‑endangered child if
(e) the guardian involves the child in or exposes the child to trafficking;
I emailed their regional office this morning, requesting information on exactly what their criteria is for moving on something, since the phone calls seem to accomplish nothing. A friend of mine is married to the local MLA, so that may be another avenue to pursue for options. Family Court is for the wealthy, not to mention slow, I would rather not have to donate several months pay to a lawyers pockets.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 05:08 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
is the girlfriend of the guy whose couch he is sleeping on just trying to stir up something to try and get him out? I would be wondering about her motive
If this were the first time this had occurred, I would possibly wonder the same. However, this is the second time now that she has been approached for the same issues. As well, they kicked him out quite a while ago, so she's doesn't have another motive there I would think. It apparently took her a while to find my girlfriend in order to let her know about this.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 05:54 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,226
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soiled View Post
If this were the first time this had occurred, I would possibly wonder the same. However, this is the second time now that she has been approached for the same issues. As well, they kicked him out quite a while ago, so she's doesn't have another motive there I would think. It apparently took her a while to find my girlfriend in order to let her know about this.
why didnt this woman call CPS instead of wasting time trying to find your girlfriend. You said that she was going to call herself, has she???

The first time was by the guys ex-girlfriend who didnt report stuff until after.

The agencies want facts. Not hearsay or things that cannot be backed up. Until this woman is proved to be credible nothing you report will be considered facts as it is just hearsay. It would have more weight if the woman called herself.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 08-07-2017 at 06:00 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 06:23 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,916
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

I'm sure question will be raised as to why the "stranger" didn't simply call police. That way perpetrator could have been arrested on the spot. Without evidence I don't think there is anything here. Calling about an impaired driver, after the fact, is pretty useless.

There are anonymous tip lines and I think a person can probably text to report a drunk/impaired driver.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 06:25 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default

An excellent question, to which I don't have an answer to. People tend to be more inclined to sit back and look for somebody else to step up and take responsibility when they see a bad situation though. That dog being beaten on a Toronto subway would be an example of such behavior.

I'd love it if these people would call CPS instead of trying to contact us, but unfortunately we have no control over that, nor any control over their willingness to contact them when we ask them. She stated last night that she would call today, we haven't heard back yet as to whether or not she had.

Absolutely they want facts, however in order to establish facts they need to investigate what is reported to them. A quick look through this forum alone would get you plenty of examples of people who have been investigated by this, or similar organizations on much flimsier ground.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2017, 06:33 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta
Posts: 162
Soiled is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I'm sure question will be raised as to why the "stranger" didn't simply call police. That way perpetrator could have been arrested on the spot. Without evidence I don't think there is anything here. Calling about an impaired driver, after the fact, is pretty useless.

There are anonymous tip lines and I think a person can probably text to report a drunk/impaired driver.
Unfortunately hoping he gets caught by somebody actually reporting things in a timely manner, instead of it getting proven by him possibly getting into an accident and injuring/killing his daughter isn't something that we can do and be comfortable with... The first report to us we were able to discount in our minds as possibly being an ex with a vendetta, but after a second time, it has to be pursued as far as possible.

If we don't pursue this now, and the worst happens, looking in a mirror would be awfully difficult. Not to mention that CPS would likely end up facing some hard questions as well, if they don't look into it.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:42 AM.