Informing sons teacher of problems

[gooddadgoingmad]

Today is my son's birthday. I made arrangements with a friend to drop off a birthday gift with a card and letter, to my sons school today. I emailed his kindergarten teacher and told her that I would be doing this, and I also asked her to read the letter to my son. I did not tell her that I expected that his mother wouldn't and this was why I wanted her to.

I got an email back from the teacher who told me she didn't get the email until after the school secretary gave her the gift to give my son....so she didn't get to read it to him. She simply told me that she passed the gift to his mom when she came to pick him up.

So I called my son today to wish him a happy birthday and to see if he liked the gift I sent. He knew nothing of the gift. I asked to speak to his mom and she said that she knew nothing of the gift! I then told her that I was talking to sons teacher who told me that she gave it to her directly! AH HA! Caught in a lie! When I told her I that I knew she knew about the gift...she then allowed my son to open it. He loved it!! Of course as my son was opening the present she stayed on the phone with me and called me every name in the book. All while she was doing this I could hear my son right next to her ....no doubt able to hear all she was saying to me. I told son to ask his mom to read him the letter I wrote....but I can be pretty sure it wont' happen. Which is why I asked his teacher to do it.

Which brings me to my question.

Teacher does not know about the difficulties I am having with this. I'm sure she is proabably wondering seeing as I asked her to read the letter to son for me. I am obviously very concerned about my child and the effect this is having on him. Should I email his teacher and inform her that there is a complicated and high conflict divorce going on? Shoudl I tell her that I am being disallowed contact with son? That I am concerned about him. That ex probably didn't read the letter to him?

I am not sure what to do here. I think his teacher should know something....but how far do I go with it?

Any advice?

My heart is pounding out of my chest after that call. My job is also very stressful.....I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...it is impacting on my sleep and job performance greatly.

GDGM

[w/ohope]

You don't need to go into detail, just explain that your ex may not be reliable and things of that nature. Teachers understand these things.

[Grace]

Absolutely I would inform the teacher of your situation. You don't have to give him/her all the nasty details, but they should be made aware. When I first separated the best advice I received was to "take the village" approach. The children need all the support they can get. This is a stressful difficult time in their lives.

[hubby]

GDGM,

Seems you may have found a venue that allows you to 'reach' your son. School is all about learning and what better place for your son to learn that you love him.

Hubby

[applepie]

I agree. Involve the teacher by giving them a general idea as to what's going on. This will help them understand better if there is ever a time when your child is experiencing difficulties with school work or getting along with others.