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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2017, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
I actually disagree.

A trip this distance away doesn't require notification of the other parent...and the downside is that once you comply with this level of control, it doesn't stop. The other parent needs to be trained that his approval or consent isn't required. You have an absolute right to privacy on how you spend your weekends with the children. There is zero reason or benefit to him having this information rather than to pry into your private parental time.

I would simply ignore the request altogether. I would not bother to respond to irrelevant questions and eventually he'll stop asking. Parental communication is required over RELEVANT parenting issues only and this request doesn't qualify.
You do realize that he is not a dog right?
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
A trip this distance away doesn't require notification of the other parent...and the downside is that once you comply with this level of control, it doesn't stop. The other parent needs to be trained that his approval or consent isn't required.

I completely agree. It is important to set boundaries. When I first got separated, I would go out of my way to not provide information unless it was mandated by the agreement.

The other parent made aggressive demands for information for a few months (including threats of litigation if I didn't comply), and then never asked again.

I am certain that if I had provided the information, I would still be dealing with the issue now, years down the road.

And to answer Trinton's later post... yes... some parents are like dogs that need to be trained.
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
yes... some parents are like dogs that need to be trained.
I don't disagree with you on that. And some are like dragons that will likely never be trained. that being said, my post was based on a different context. I don't think you got the joke.
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Old 04-13-2017, 02:00 PM
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There is no requirement or rule on disclosing where a parent is going with the child, so long as you are staying within the Country/Province.

If you are traveling a long distance, sometimes it doesn't hurt letting the ex know you will be out of town and to call your cell in the event of an emergency. If they ask where you are going, you are not obliged to say. However, the flip side to that coin is how you want to be treated yourself. If you wouldn't mind the common courtesy of knowing where your kids are, you'd better be willing to extend it yourself.

Showing a touch of respect and maturity on the matter can go a long way. I generally let my ex know when we are going out of town, if for no other reason than to ensure my kid comes prepared with the appropriate clothing.

There is zero need to give specifics about for when you are going or coming back unless it impacts their time. I'd never both with saying anything more than "we are going to my folks/camper etc". Anything more is over indulging the ex with information, essentially keeping them informed on your life, which no one wants.
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Old 08-13-2017, 07:46 AM
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My kid is a chatterbox so I always tell his dad where we will be (if we're going out of town) AND I tell him if I'm out of town on my non-parenting days just in case of emergency.

I have no idea if this is good or bad co-parenting or if I'm doing right by our child but it seems to me like good manners and frankly, I would not want our child telling him he saw XYZ and for his dad to be clueless or to be caught off guard as to how that came about. I think kids should know early that parents communicate (no matter how shoddy this can be) and that they can freely share what happens from one house to the next.
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Old 08-13-2017, 08:26 AM
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My partners agreement states he is to advise his ex
If he is traveling (her too) and how he can be reached in case of emergency. His ex enjoys telling him when shes away with the kids because she thinks it bugs him (they dont spend time with him). She refuses to tell him when the kids travel alone though which bugs him more. Initially when they were with us, she objected to them spending time with me. That led to her badgering them about being uncomfortable with me and it led to them telling him they werent comfortable here because his living arrangement. Some people are controlling jerks.
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Old 08-14-2017, 12:54 AM
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My ex was a complete a$$hole in the beginning about my location when I traveled alone, even without the kids.......needed to know hotels, contact numbers,and such.

Of course, she would travel with the kids and tell me nothing.

I just said to use my cell phone and/or email info.....if I am out of touch, then I am out of touch.....
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Old 08-14-2017, 07:58 PM
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I am sure your ex's will grill there children as to what goes on
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Old 08-15-2017, 01:26 PM
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Another angle to consider:

So what? Tell the other parent all the details. If they try to stop you they can't. Their opinion is meaningless and a court would do nothing. In fact, if they were stupid enough to bring a motion about the matter... it would work in your favour as they would be seen as crazy.
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Old 08-16-2017, 11:45 AM
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My ex and I simply dont feel the need to discuss what we'll be doing unless we go out of the country. It's her time .. I trust her with it .. and vice versa. We both know we love D6 more than anything and either of us would call if there were any kind of emergency anywhere.

Having to always know where our daughter is on her time isn't on my agenda at all. I mind my own business and so does she.
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