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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:58 PM
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Default Inform Ex were I spend weekends with kids

Dear all,

My ex insists that I inform him if I am leaving the town with kids over the weekend ( my weekend with kids). E.g. to spend overnight at the fun hotel 1.5 h from home. There is no court order or any other agreement saying I have to. (we have joint custody)
OCL mentioned "the transparency".
Does anyone know my rights?
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almostdivorced2017 View Post
Dear all,



My ex insists that I inform him if I am leaving the town with kids over the weekend ( my weekend with kids). E.g. to spend overnight at the fun hotel 1.5 h from home. There is no court order or any other agreement saying I have to. (we have joint custody)

OCL mentioned "the transparency".

Does anyone know my rights?


Unless you are travelling outside of Canada you don't have to inform your ex of anything. If you're going out of province it wouldn't hurt but to go a few hours away is none of your ex's business. Of course it is nice if you can communicate but in reality you don't need to tell your ex anything, especially if you are staying within province.

My husbands ex tried the same thing and he informed her a couple times but that was it. We plan our time with the kids and she plans hers.


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Old 04-13-2017, 01:14 AM
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Originally Posted by almostdivorced2017 View Post
My ex insists that I inform him if I am leaving the town with kids over the weekend
You do not have to provide that information.

It turns out that your ex doesn't actually get to set the rules. Who would have thunk it?

Quote:
Does anyone know my rights?
There is a difference between rights and obligations. Something about parents asking about their rights always plays out very badly in the courts. It is a good habit to break.
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Old 04-13-2017, 12:03 PM
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unless your court order says you have to tell her what you are doing with your kids on your time , or unless the court says you have to get her consent before travelling outside of the province, country, etc, you don't have to give her anything. Ignore her. What you do with your kids on your time is non of her business.
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Old 04-13-2017, 12:34 PM
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There is no order, however, the judge recommended that should be a transparency where children are at any given point in time.
How to interpret that?
Ex is asking to provide exact details where and with whom kids will be.
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Old 04-13-2017, 12:46 PM
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unless your court order says you have to tell her what you are doing with your kids on your time , or unless the court says you have to get her consent before travelling outside of the province, country, etc, you don't have to give her anything. Ignore her. What you do with your kids on your time is non of her business.
I just kind of laughed when I read this response.

Trinton...read the initial post. The OP refers to their ex as a HIM not a HER.

There are some posters on here who just don't realize how skewed their perspective of the opposite gender is because of their own bitter divorce experience. Not all women are controlling and conniving...but sometimes men are....go figure.
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almostdivorced2017 View Post
There is no order, however, the judge recommended that should be a transparency where children are at any given point in time.
How to interpret that?
Ex is asking to provide exact details where and with whom kids will be.
It means you should both know where your children are. Judge wants you both to cooperate and share the information. So does the OCL as you mentioned in your first post. It doesn't mean you have to. It doesn't mean you have to give all the details.

Something as simple as "we're going to Niagara Falls for the weekend" is clearly enough information.
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
I just kind of laughed when I read this response.

Trinton...read the initial post. The OP refers to their ex as a HIM not a HER.

There are some posters on here who just don't realize how skewed their perspective of the opposite gender is because of their own bitter divorce experience. Not all women are controlling and conniving...but sometimes men are....go figure.
Seems you really enjoy derailing threads recently to talk about how pro-mom you are. My response wasn't influenced by gender. I would give the same response to both mom and dad. I didn't realize there was people so focused on the HIMS or HERS. Is the gender really that relevant PersuingHappiness ? What is your issue with men ? Do you have a skewed their perspective of the opposite gender because of your own bitter divorce ?

Last edited by trinton; 04-13-2017 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almostdivorced2017 View Post
There is no order, however, the judge recommended that should be a transparency where children are at any given point in time.
How to interpret that?
Ex is asking to provide exact details where and with whom kids will be.
If it's not in an written order and it's just something the judge said verbally, then you should ignore _HIM_. However, if you are in the court process and this is something the court wants to see moving forward, just tell _HIM_ whether you will be in town or out of town - if out of town, which town. You don't need to tell _HIM_ who you will be with, what you will be eating for breakfast, at what time you went to the washroom, what brand of conditioner you used or on what side of the bed you're sleeping on. That's just simply none of _HIS_ business. You have a right to privacy.

What is this thing about OCL recommendation of transparency ?
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by paris View Post
It means you should both know where your children are. Judge wants you both to cooperate and share the information. So does the OCL as you mentioned in your first post. It doesn't mean you have to. It doesn't mean you have to give all the details.

Something as simple as "we're going to Niagara Falls for the weekend" is clearly enough information.
I actually disagree.

A trip this distance away doesn't require notification of the other parent...and the downside is that once you comply with this level of control, it doesn't stop. The other parent needs to be trained that his approval or consent isn't required. You have an absolute right to privacy on how you spend your weekends with the children. There is zero reason or benefit to him having this information rather than to pry into your private parental time.

I would simply ignore the request altogether. I would not bother to respond to irrelevant questions and eventually he'll stop asking. Parental communication is required over RELEVANT parenting issues only and this request doesn't qualify.
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