I can't believe this

[mts1973]

Tell me if this wacked!

Ex and I have a court order concerning holidays. It is supposed to alternate each year. Last year he started of with Christmas, the first half of the Christmas holidays, and I had the last half. (new years)

So I planned and put in my holidays according to the alternate plan. This year I would start off with the beginning of the holidays. Well now after a year of knowing this, the ex, it s telling me now that his holidays are the start of holidays, and wants me to have the last half.

I did what I was supposed to. But in the court order, we have to mutually agree on this. He is throwing that in my face, along with more threats of court, and accusations. So now to avoid the further fighting and accusations, and avoiding him giving her some sob story saying mommy wont let me do this ect..ect.. and stop him accusing me of not being flexible. I will have to cancel the plans I made. I don't blame the man for wanting to see his daughter, but he had a year to plan for this knowing it was to alternate, being the opposite from what he had last year.

Has anyone been in this situation before? How do you cope. He seems he always wants to fight with me, especially if he doesn't get what he wants. I feel so bad for my daughter, he feeds her the sob stories, and makes her feel sorry for him.

[mts1973]

I posted this 2 times, I am sorry, I don't know how to delete one of them. oops

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by mts1973

Tell me if this wacked!

It is "wacked" and only demonstrates the other parent's high-conflict personality.

Originally Posted by mts1973

Ex and I have a court order concerning holidays. It is supposed to alternate each year. Last year he started of with Christmas, the first half of the Christmas holidays, and I had the last half. (new years)

Very traditional arrangement ordered thousands of times a day in our country probably.

Originally Posted by mts1973

So I planned and put in my holidays according to the alternate plan. This year I would start off with the beginning of the holidays. Well now after a year of knowing this, the ex, it s telling me now that his holidays are the start of holidays, and wants me to have the last half.

1. Let him make the "threat" of a motion.

2. Respond to any threat with the cogent evidence supporting your stance on the arrangements for this year.

3. Confirm your acceptance of the terms set forth in the order and state that you had the children last year between date A and date B per this order.

4. Reference any email / discussions / written agreements that identify that this went forward according to the order last year.

5. Identify that the agreement set forth demonstrates a status quo and you expect the other parent to abide by the order.

6. Encourage your spouse to demonstrate their high-conflict pattern of behaviour by filing a motion to "double down" on the holidays two years in a row and you will attach all the cogent evidence proving beyond a reasonable doubt that this occurred last year and there is no reason this element of the order shouldn't be implemented.


Good Luck!
Tayken

[mts1973]

Thank-you for the advice, it is certainly helpful

From the divorce/custody case he tried to take to court (which was bogus and considered a harassment in my opinion) It only reached case conference, and the judge recommended he not be seen back in family court again. He promised he wouldn't be back there. (It is on transcript, his promise) I only worry of him brainwashing our daughter, doing the "poor me" syndrome to her, telling her he needs to work on those days, during the last half of the holidays. She shouldn't even be apart of his so called "negotiations" that is why we have a court order, so I thought. Therefore to save her from the headache I will give him what he wants, and cancel my vacation plans...but I will start to take these threats and bullying seriously now, I can't live like this. I moved on, have a new start, new family, new baby, it is not fair on all of them either. His BS is starting to affect me physically now.