Father's Rights if Mother not around?

[Harold Callahan]

Hi all! I hope all had a good Christmas/New Year I know it can be tough.

Quick legal question.

I assumed my Ex would be taking this week off to be with our son. I found out today that she will be at work and will be leaving him with her friends son who is 27, lives at home with his mom and has no job - this Wed Thurs and Friday while she is at work.

I see my son every other Weekend, we have no sep agreement, cour orders etc..

She will not give me any contact info! I don't feel right about him being alone with some guy I never met wanted to know if I had a right to have my son if my Wife is not watching him.

I am his father. What do you think..?

thanks in advance for any info or advice offered..

Harold

[Teenwolf]

I don't believe you have a right to take him back if the mom is not watching him. You get your access as per the court order. Understandably, there will be times when a babysitter is required during her access. She should, however, provide you with the babysitter contact info.

Are you pitching in S7 costs for this babysitter? If so, and you're willing/able to take the child, then there's no reason why you can't provide the child supervision, but you'll have to agree to that or get a judge on side with you.

[AngieJ]

I'm not sure what the exact term is, but you should have "Right of first refusal". My X and I have a section in our SA which clearly states that during my week with the children, if I am unable to provide care (due to work, etc) then I am to call the X and give him the first opportunity to care for the kids before I contact a babysitter, and the X would do the same by contacting me during his week with the kids.

I understand your discomfort about your child being with someone you don't know, I don't think there would be anything wrong with you talking to your X asking her if you could care for the child while she is at work this week (that is of course if you are in fact available to take care of him).

Good luck

Angie

[Berner_Faith]

Angie is right...there should be "right of first refusal"

However, if the mother wants her access time (or doesn't allow you to watch the child) she has every right to do so because it is her time. Just talk to her about it. If she wants to child in her house when she is done work then you should return the child. If she doesn't allow you to take the child during her time, not much you can do about it, she has the right to find a babysitter, even if you don't know him, but should provide contact info.

You get your access as per the court order

There is no court order or SA, that was already stated.

[Harold Callahan]

Thanks all - It makes sense to have this as part of any arrangment, I posted this in another section and this was brought up. It's very goos to know moving forward.

She has not given me the opportunity this time and not been open about the arrangment she has made this week.

Time to work on the separation agreement!?

thx

H

[Teenwolf]

Originally Posted by Harold Callahan

Time to work on the separation agreement!?

Absolutely! And try to get a "right of first refusal" clause.

[Harold Callahan]

I'm thinking ahead we had the basis of one which was never formalized but helped set the general rules like pick up and drop off what weekend cycle etc. It is old and had an expiry date if I remember, when it expired, things were tense so we didn't get back to updating it.

Anyway I could use the old one to help build a new one but:

1. What if my Ex does not want to sign? (or we disagree on certain "clauses" and can't finalize it?)

2. Would it be better for me to wait until I have been able to change the status quo a little (more time with my son) so that I don't make it more difficult as I try to change the schedule towards that end?

3. Do we need a justice of the peace to authenticate it?


H